Category: DnD

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How do I show subtle changes but not make it too obvious? /u/Challenger-J DnD: Roll for Initiative!

How do I show subtle changes but not make it too obvious? /u/Challenger-J DnD: Roll for Initiative!

My players are currently in a druid area and took a quest from her as they are seeking redemption after killing the forest guardian. The druid accepts Saying after the absence of the guardian, something fell had taken its place, lurking in the shadows and moving through the veil of night. Yes, rhere is indeed a demon that took place there but the druid itself had been corrupted slowly without their knowledge. I wish to show subtle changes in her but not too obvious that they’ll catch on immediately.

submitted by /u/Challenger-J
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​r/DnD My players are currently in a druid area and took a quest from her as they are seeking redemption after killing the forest guardian. The druid accepts Saying after the absence of the guardian, something fell had taken its place, lurking in the shadows and moving through the veil of night. Yes, rhere is indeed a demon that took place there but the druid itself had been corrupted slowly without their knowledge. I wish to show subtle changes in her but not too obvious that they’ll catch on immediately. submitted by /u/Challenger-J [link] [comments] 

My players are currently in a druid area and took a quest from her as they are seeking redemption after killing the forest guardian. The druid accepts Saying after the absence of the guardian, something fell had taken its place, lurking in the shadows and moving through the veil of night. Yes, rhere is indeed a demon that took place there but the druid itself had been corrupted slowly without their knowledge. I wish to show subtle changes in her but not too obvious that they’ll catch on immediately.

submitted by /u/Challenger-J
[link] [comments]  My players are currently in a druid area and took a quest from her as they are seeking redemption after killing the forest guardian. The druid accepts Saying after the absence of the guardian, something fell had taken its place, lurking in the shadows and moving through the veil of night. Yes, rhere is indeed a demon that took place there but the druid itself had been corrupted slowly without their knowledge. I wish to show subtle changes in her but not too obvious that they’ll catch on immediately. submitted by /u/Challenger-J [link] [comments]

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So how much post-Columbian influence and trade exists in the Forgotten Realms? /u/Academic-Ad-770 DnD: Roll for Initiative!

So how much post-Columbian influence and trade exists in the Forgotten Realms? /u/Academic-Ad-770 DnD: Roll for Initiative!

Hi! I’m still new to the Lore so bear with me. As I was brewing my campaign within the Forgotten Realms I started to get lost how the wider world economics even looks like. The continents are represented, like Asia being Kara-Tur, Maztika is Mesoamerica and so forth, and they also counterpart our Earth on their historical discovery. But also being a Fantasy world RAW there are tomatoes and potatoes available in Faerun, and there is the whole Monk class running around for example. I wanted to sprinkle references in like Tea from Malatra served in a lord’s manor, and there is Pumpkin from Revonar, but it also made me wonder, is that lore-accurate? Could there be chocolate? The ports along the Sword Coast, who do they trade with?
Mostly because Faerun is at times classically medieval, but other times Renaissance post-Columbian, and there is like gunpowder and magical machinery. Then occasionally concepts like Barbarians and Druids date to older civilizations almost Viking or Germanic. Thanks for some insights! :>

submitted by /u/Academic-Ad-770
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​r/DnD Hi! I’m still new to the Lore so bear with me. As I was brewing my campaign within the Forgotten Realms I started to get lost how the wider world economics even looks like. The continents are represented, like Asia being Kara-Tur, Maztika is Mesoamerica and so forth, and they also counterpart our Earth on their historical discovery. But also being a Fantasy world RAW there are tomatoes and potatoes available in Faerun, and there is the whole Monk class running around for example. I wanted to sprinkle references in like Tea from Malatra served in a lord’s manor, and there is Pumpkin from Revonar, but it also made me wonder, is that lore-accurate? Could there be chocolate? The ports along the Sword Coast, who do they trade with? Mostly because Faerun is at times classically medieval, but other times Renaissance post-Columbian, and there is like gunpowder and magical machinery. Then occasionally concepts like Barbarians and Druids date to older civilizations almost Viking or Germanic. Thanks for some insights! :> submitted by /u/Academic-Ad-770 [link] [comments] 

Hi! I’m still new to the Lore so bear with me. As I was brewing my campaign within the Forgotten Realms I started to get lost how the wider world economics even looks like. The continents are represented, like Asia being Kara-Tur, Maztika is Mesoamerica and so forth, and they also counterpart our Earth on their historical discovery. But also being a Fantasy world RAW there are tomatoes and potatoes available in Faerun, and there is the whole Monk class running around for example. I wanted to sprinkle references in like Tea from Malatra served in a lord’s manor, and there is Pumpkin from Revonar, but it also made me wonder, is that lore-accurate? Could there be chocolate? The ports along the Sword Coast, who do they trade with?
Mostly because Faerun is at times classically medieval, but other times Renaissance post-Columbian, and there is like gunpowder and magical machinery. Then occasionally concepts like Barbarians and Druids date to older civilizations almost Viking or Germanic. Thanks for some insights! :>

submitted by /u/Academic-Ad-770
[link] [comments]  Hi! I’m still new to the Lore so bear with me. As I was brewing my campaign within the Forgotten Realms I started to get lost how the wider world economics even looks like. The continents are represented, like Asia being Kara-Tur, Maztika is Mesoamerica and so forth, and they also counterpart our Earth on their historical discovery. But also being a Fantasy world RAW there are tomatoes and potatoes available in Faerun, and there is the whole Monk class running around for example. I wanted to sprinkle references in like Tea from Malatra served in a lord’s manor, and there is Pumpkin from Revonar, but it also made me wonder, is that lore-accurate? Could there be chocolate? The ports along the Sword Coast, who do they trade with? Mostly because Faerun is at times classically medieval, but other times Renaissance post-Columbian, and there is like gunpowder and magical machinery. Then occasionally concepts like Barbarians and Druids date to older civilizations almost Viking or Germanic. Thanks for some insights! :> submitted by /u/Academic-Ad-770 [link] [comments]

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Kobold sorcerer sleeps on a flooffy tail /u/Flaky-King-6798 DnD: Roll for Initiative!

Kobold sorcerer sleeps on a flooffy tail /u/Flaky-King-6798 DnD: Roll for Initiative!

So I’m playing a chaotic good Kobold and one of our party members a Beast-kin rouge had a panic attack (in character) and my kobold being who she is stayed with her and helped in her own way, a bit after that as the party was about to go to bed and long rest my tiny little kobold decided that the best way to make sure that the beast-kin would be safe was to sleep on her fluffy tail, and now I can’t get rid of the mental image of a kobold sleeping on a wolfkin’s fluffy tail

submitted by /u/Flaky-King-6798
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​r/DnD So I’m playing a chaotic good Kobold and one of our party members a Beast-kin rouge had a panic attack (in character) and my kobold being who she is stayed with her and helped in her own way, a bit after that as the party was about to go to bed and long rest my tiny little kobold decided that the best way to make sure that the beast-kin would be safe was to sleep on her fluffy tail, and now I can’t get rid of the mental image of a kobold sleeping on a wolfkin’s fluffy tail submitted by /u/Flaky-King-6798 [link] [comments] 

So I’m playing a chaotic good Kobold and one of our party members a Beast-kin rouge had a panic attack (in character) and my kobold being who she is stayed with her and helped in her own way, a bit after that as the party was about to go to bed and long rest my tiny little kobold decided that the best way to make sure that the beast-kin would be safe was to sleep on her fluffy tail, and now I can’t get rid of the mental image of a kobold sleeping on a wolfkin’s fluffy tail

submitted by /u/Flaky-King-6798
[link] [comments]  So I’m playing a chaotic good Kobold and one of our party members a Beast-kin rouge had a panic attack (in character) and my kobold being who she is stayed with her and helped in her own way, a bit after that as the party was about to go to bed and long rest my tiny little kobold decided that the best way to make sure that the beast-kin would be safe was to sleep on her fluffy tail, and now I can’t get rid of the mental image of a kobold sleeping on a wolfkin’s fluffy tail submitted by /u/Flaky-King-6798 [link] [comments]

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How do you pick your Wizard’s Arcane Tradition? /u/violetalternative DnD: Roll for Initiative!

How do you pick your Wizard’s Arcane Tradition? /u/violetalternative DnD: Roll for Initiative!

I’ve wanted to make a Wizard for a long time, but every time I set out to make a character, I get stumped by my choice of Arcane Tradition.

On the roleplay side of things, I never know which one really fits with my character, unless I design one from a specific school. This method often leads to unimaginative characters for my taste, though (Prankster Illusionist, Evil Necromancer, and Abjuration leads to Lawful Good Paladin).
What also doesn’t help is that most of the Wizards I make aren’t really specialists, so having only one Tradition for such case isn’t ideal…

On the gameplay/combat flipside, none of them really catch my eye. They all seem boring or don’t align with my character’s personality.

I’m really tired of this, so I have to resort to asking for help among more knowledgeable people, since my mindset may be flawed.
I’m looking for advice, but simply sharing your process helps me a lot. Feel free to discuss homebrew.
Thank you for your time!

submitted by /u/violetalternative
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​r/DnD I’ve wanted to make a Wizard for a long time, but every time I set out to make a character, I get stumped by my choice of Arcane Tradition. On the roleplay side of things, I never know which one really fits with my character, unless I design one from a specific school. This method often leads to unimaginative characters for my taste, though (Prankster Illusionist, Evil Necromancer, and Abjuration leads to Lawful Good Paladin). What also doesn’t help is that most of the Wizards I make aren’t really specialists, so having only one Tradition for such case isn’t ideal… On the gameplay/combat flipside, none of them really catch my eye. They all seem boring or don’t align with my character’s personality. I’m really tired of this, so I have to resort to asking for help among more knowledgeable people, since my mindset may be flawed. I’m looking for advice, but simply sharing your process helps me a lot. Feel free to discuss homebrew. Thank you for your time! submitted by /u/violetalternative [link] [comments] 

I’ve wanted to make a Wizard for a long time, but every time I set out to make a character, I get stumped by my choice of Arcane Tradition.

On the roleplay side of things, I never know which one really fits with my character, unless I design one from a specific school. This method often leads to unimaginative characters for my taste, though (Prankster Illusionist, Evil Necromancer, and Abjuration leads to Lawful Good Paladin).
What also doesn’t help is that most of the Wizards I make aren’t really specialists, so having only one Tradition for such case isn’t ideal…

On the gameplay/combat flipside, none of them really catch my eye. They all seem boring or don’t align with my character’s personality.

I’m really tired of this, so I have to resort to asking for help among more knowledgeable people, since my mindset may be flawed.
I’m looking for advice, but simply sharing your process helps me a lot. Feel free to discuss homebrew.
Thank you for your time!

submitted by /u/violetalternative
[link] [comments]  I’ve wanted to make a Wizard for a long time, but every time I set out to make a character, I get stumped by my choice of Arcane Tradition. On the roleplay side of things, I never know which one really fits with my character, unless I design one from a specific school. This method often leads to unimaginative characters for my taste, though (Prankster Illusionist, Evil Necromancer, and Abjuration leads to Lawful Good Paladin). What also doesn’t help is that most of the Wizards I make aren’t really specialists, so having only one Tradition for such case isn’t ideal… On the gameplay/combat flipside, none of them really catch my eye. They all seem boring or don’t align with my character’s personality. I’m really tired of this, so I have to resort to asking for help among more knowledgeable people, since my mindset may be flawed. I’m looking for advice, but simply sharing your process helps me a lot. Feel free to discuss homebrew. Thank you for your time! submitted by /u/violetalternative [link] [comments]

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[OC] [Art] Tavern shenanigans with the party! /u/hungrybf DnD: Roll for Initiative!

[OC] [Art] Tavern shenanigans with the party! /u/hungrybf DnD: Roll for Initiative!

(Left to right: Smoke “Smoke” of the Alley the tabaxi rogue, Lunis the half-elf storm sorcerer, Pimm the yuan-ti paladin, and Jangle the kenku swashbuckler rogue.)

This Saturday our two rogues burst in on a roleplay scene with my character Lunis and his DMPC love interest, unwittingly smushing them together while they showed off the coin and drinks they pilfered. I absolutely loved it and had to draw 🙂

submitted by /u/hungrybf
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​r/DnD (Left to right: Smoke “Smoke” of the Alley the tabaxi rogue, Lunis the half-elf storm sorcerer, Pimm the yuan-ti paladin, and Jangle the kenku swashbuckler rogue.) This Saturday our two rogues burst in on a roleplay scene with my character Lunis and his DMPC love interest, unwittingly smushing them together while they showed off the coin and drinks they pilfered. I absolutely loved it and had to draw 🙂 submitted by /u/hungrybf [link] [comments] 

(Left to right: Smoke “Smoke” of the Alley the tabaxi rogue, Lunis the half-elf storm sorcerer, Pimm the yuan-ti paladin, and Jangle the kenku swashbuckler rogue.)

This Saturday our two rogues burst in on a roleplay scene with my character Lunis and his DMPC love interest, unwittingly smushing them together while they showed off the coin and drinks they pilfered. I absolutely loved it and had to draw 🙂

submitted by /u/hungrybf
[link] [comments]  (Left to right: Smoke “Smoke” of the Alley the tabaxi rogue, Lunis the half-elf storm sorcerer, Pimm the yuan-ti paladin, and Jangle the kenku swashbuckler rogue.) This Saturday our two rogues burst in on a roleplay scene with my character Lunis and his DMPC love interest, unwittingly smushing them together while they showed off the coin and drinks they pilfered. I absolutely loved it and had to draw 🙂 submitted by /u/hungrybf [link] [comments]

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How do you perceive of 18 strength? /u/conn_r2112 DnD: Roll for Initiative!

How do you perceive of 18 strength? /u/conn_r2112 DnD: Roll for Initiative!

Do you view it akin to superhuman strength? Or just a really strong person, within the believable limits of how strong a human could be?

submitted by /u/conn_r2112
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​r/DnD Do you view it akin to superhuman strength? Or just a really strong person, within the believable limits of how strong a human could be? submitted by /u/conn_r2112 [link] [comments] 

Do you view it akin to superhuman strength? Or just a really strong person, within the believable limits of how strong a human could be?

submitted by /u/conn_r2112
[link] [comments]  Do you view it akin to superhuman strength? Or just a really strong person, within the believable limits of how strong a human could be? submitted by /u/conn_r2112 [link] [comments]

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Class ideas for a character with casino/gambling motifs? /u/Prior-Ad258 DnD: Roll for Initiative!

Class ideas for a character with casino/gambling motifs? /u/Prior-Ad258 DnD: Roll for Initiative!

Like the title says, anyone have class ideas for a character with casino/gambling motifs? I’m open to doing some reflavouring/homebrew stuff, I’m just kinda new to the game still (been playing less than a year) and haven’t really dabbled much beyond the standard stuff to keep things uncomplicated while I learned the mechanics lol

If it helps, I lean more towards role play potential over being optimised.

submitted by /u/Prior-Ad258
[link] [comments]

​r/DnD Like the title says, anyone have class ideas for a character with casino/gambling motifs? I’m open to doing some reflavouring/homebrew stuff, I’m just kinda new to the game still (been playing less than a year) and haven’t really dabbled much beyond the standard stuff to keep things uncomplicated while I learned the mechanics lol If it helps, I lean more towards role play potential over being optimised. submitted by /u/Prior-Ad258 [link] [comments] 

Like the title says, anyone have class ideas for a character with casino/gambling motifs? I’m open to doing some reflavouring/homebrew stuff, I’m just kinda new to the game still (been playing less than a year) and haven’t really dabbled much beyond the standard stuff to keep things uncomplicated while I learned the mechanics lol

If it helps, I lean more towards role play potential over being optimised.

submitted by /u/Prior-Ad258
[link] [comments]  Like the title says, anyone have class ideas for a character with casino/gambling motifs? I’m open to doing some reflavouring/homebrew stuff, I’m just kinda new to the game still (been playing less than a year) and haven’t really dabbled much beyond the standard stuff to keep things uncomplicated while I learned the mechanics lol If it helps, I lean more towards role play potential over being optimised. submitted by /u/Prior-Ad258 [link] [comments]

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My DM is the best. (Swear Warning, ‘cus I Don’t Know Whether That Could Make this NSFW or Not.) /u/HarlequinTRT DnD: Roll for Initiative!

My DM is the best. (Swear Warning, ‘cus I Don’t Know Whether That Could Make this NSFW or Not.) /u/HarlequinTRT DnD: Roll for Initiative!

Fake names used, ‘cus this is supposed to mostly be a secret from the others. Oh, and privacy. Though, I’m not actually sure I know their real names.

Okay, so meaningless backstory, skip the paragraph if not interested: I joined up with this group October this year, and we play every Sunday. It’s online D&D and we use Discord & Foundry, because nobody plays D&D in Nigeria and online D&D is the only D&D I’ve ever played since starting early 2020. Anyway, in the ad posting, the DM said the game was pretty hardcore, and I liked that idea, since I’ve never been in a hardcore game. And it’s been pretty hardcore; 7 day LR, 8hr SR, Diseases, Curses and all that shiz. But then he’s added these fuckin’ awesome homebrew mechanics to everything – the guy’s a sleepless genius, I swear – that just make the game so much more fun. He’s got harsh rulings, but he’s fair, and the group is absolutely lovely. These guys are some of the best D&D players I’ve ever seen, though that doesn’t exactly count for a lot. They’re all rules lawyers and power gamers, but in the best way possible because the world of the game encourages that. And this worldbuilding, bro… Let’s not even get into that, ‘cus this guy is a mad genius.

Anyway, backstory done and gushing (mostly) completed, last week, he asks if people wanna join in on a Christmas one-shot. I’m like, “Fuck yeah; I’ve got nothing better to do anyway.” Problem is, most of the others are actually functional adults and have lives, jobs, parties and stuff. So, it’s just down to me, John and Jeff. Noice; I like John! He’s funny and his RP is immaculate. Then John pulls out of the one-shot ‘cus he misread his calendar (no big deal), and I’m sweating a bit. I don’t dislike Jeff or anything, I just haven’t related to him as much as I have the others. It’s like when there’s two introverts and an extrovert in a friend group: once the extrovert steps out of the room, the other two are kinda just staring at each other like, “Who even are you, my guy?” So, yeah, I’m nervous, ‘cus what if I can’t make good RP with this guy, and it becomes boring during session, and the DM feels it and is disheartened or something? So, some part of me was kinda praying that something would come up so we could cancel the oneshot. I’m glad nothing happened, because he was a really fun guy to play with (pause).

Characters: Obviously, nothing came up, and the oneshot happened. We each played two level 5 characters: me, an Eladrin Evoc. Wizard named Cassian Cringle and a Dragonborn Vengeance Paladin named Solus G. Rinch. Jeff pulled up with two gnomes: Ale and Bread Ginger, a Fiend Warlock and Arcane Trickster Rogue respectively. The premise is simple: we’re all assholes with a grudge against Santa and want to ruin his Christmas by stealing the Naughty List. Except Cassian, though: he wants to steal the Naughty List to grab some of that Christmas Magic, ‘cus he’s a historian, wizard and an archaeologist. I mean, what historian would pass up a comprehensive list of the sins of every living thing since the beginning of time? Solus was fuelled by the rage she felt from not ever getting a Christmas present and worshipped The Mean One. Ale was an ex-elf of Santa that tried stealing the Christmas Magic after signing a Pact with The Mean One (I swear, we used the same name and we didn’t even collaborate on character creation except for classes.) Bread was Ale’s brother that was pissed that they were separated, ‘cus their family couldn’t afford to keep both of them. He blamed Santa for that.

Characters covered, the one-shot starts with a snowball fight with some animated snowmen. Goofy, right? Then we get to the talking doorknob, who asks us three riddles. First one was about a Gingerbread Man. I can’t recite the riddle ‘cus he deleted the logs so the others wouldn’t know about the details of the session. Light hearted enough, right?

Then the second hits, and, while I can’t remember the first two lines, the last two were: “Frozen for eternity by his cold touch; I wish I had never come here.” The answer was snowmen.

So, bells are ringing, and they’re not the Jingle ones. That’s pretty fuckin’ dark, but we move. The 3rd riddle solidifies this feeling: “They’re bad, unredeemable, unforgivable, and are gone by the 25th.” Not the exact words, but gets the point across. The answer’s pretty obvious, right? Of course, it’s bad children! And adults, too, of course. This isn’t Diddy we’re dealing with; it’s Santa. He’s an equal-opportunity kidnapper.

A’it, so we’re let into Santa’s shack and come across Mrs. Claus. She seems nice enough; there’s a full table of baked goods and everything. Solus, despite her burning hatred for the fat man himself, has a soft spot for kind people, so she indulges despite Cassian’s several warnings. Ale and Bread disguise themselves as elves with Disguise Self (Eldritch Invocation) and are kinda obligated to eat. Cassian has shit Dex and shit luck, so he fails on the Sleight of Hand to pretend to eat the food while actually just throwing it away. He has to grab a bite, and, surprise-surprise, everyone else starts going unconscious. Because he only took a bite, he’s fine, but the elves gather around the table and he pretends to be asleep. At least, he tries to, but shit Charisma and shit luck strike. The elves – cute little people that look like children – then proceed to grab Cassian’s head and bashes it into the table until he’s unconscious (no damage dealt, just flavour.)

So, we wake up in Santa’s dungeon. There’s some shenanigans with a Mimic present, but that’s mostly by-the-by. Anyway, we escape our cells thanks to Bread’s Lederhosen Mage Hand (I’m not googling that shit), and in comes the big bad himself. He beelines for Solus, because she’s just getting out of her cell and is directly in front of him(she just Kool-Aid manned it through the cell doors). Solus is absolutely chomping at the bit to fight him, and Cassian decides to help with a Winter Fey Step (Frightened on a failed Wisdom Save).

My brethren in Christ, when I saw a 28 wisdom save and it wasn’t even a Nat 20, I knew exactly what kind of timing we were on. Then, once initiative started and he said “Legendary Action”… yeah. Shit got real very fucking fast.

We got bodied, to say the least: he shoved Cassian in his sack (he managed to escape that) then Commanded him to go back to his cell (failed the save, cus why would a Wizard succeed on a Wisdom save, right?). Then, he used said sack to whack Solus back into her cell and knock her out. Ale and Bread saved Solus’ ass by making it seem that there was an elven rebellion among the elves locked up in the dungeon, and Santa went to take care of that.

It was at this point we saw exactly how much of a fucking psycho Santa was. He just grabbed some poor elf that wasn’t even saying anything and snapped his neck, then dumped his body right there in the dungeon. Then, he walked out. He didn’t even lock us back in our cells, ‘cus why would he, right?

…Well, fuck.

So, we’re down in the dungeon licking our wounds when we find out something absolutely terrifying: much like the 3rd riddle implied, Santa kidnapped “naughty people” and stashed them here, before feeding them some magic food that basically turned them into elves and reindeer. So these were just regular-ass people who had been forced into tiny clothes and made into tiny people. Then, we asked what Santa did the rest of the year. Turns out this Santa – yes, it’s a Fae lineage thing – is actually a goddamn dealer the rest of the year. A dealer of what, you might ask? Drugs, guns, trafficking: basically everything. And he used Christmas magic to enhance his trade. The elves made stuff for him, but because of the rules of being Santa, he still has to make and deliver toys.

Anyway, Ale insights rebellion among the dungeon-dwellers, and we move into Santa’s workshop, where we get swarmed by controlled elves. Creepily wide smiles, synchronised voices and spell-casting; the whole business. Santa’s not in sight, and after a Fireball wipes out the spellcasters among them, it looks like we might be getting out of this.

Guess who decides to show up?

Yup, call it Diabolus Ex Machina, but this fat bastard shows up through our exit route, and now we’ve gotta run the ones. Cassian does Wizard shit and centers a Fireball explosion on himself (Spell Sculpt, so he’s a’it,) and most of the controlled elves are down. He swings his sack around a few times, then, pulls out a fucking FLAMETHROWER. 5d10 fire damage on a failed Con Save. Cassian fails his saving throw ‘cus that’s his signature move, but Absorb Elements stops him from going down. Solus succeeds, so takes half of half damage, ‘cus Red Dragonborn. The allied elves that were caught in the blast radius were, in the words of Thanos, “gone. Reduced to atoms.” Well, except one, but I’ll get back to her.

Solus is ripping into Saint Dick as much as she can with a non-magical sword – ‘cus of course he’s resistant to non-magical weapon attacks and elemental damage – and every turn adds on Vow of Enmity, Hunter’s Mark; all the bonus action damage mods. Cassian manages to give her Lightning Dragon’s Breath for a bit, but he’s downed, so… yeah. Ale and Bread are holding back some elven reinforcements. And then, there’s that one elf that I mentioned. She’s not the only elf still alive – there’s another guy left – but she must’ve been the MC of a different campaign, ‘cus she was constantly stabbing into Santa like nobody’s business. 10 damage halved every turn, and she hit like 6 times, so 30 damage before Santa pulled out the Flamethrower again and lit her up.

So, we were getting evidently butt-fucked by O’Santa bin Laden. Then, he decides to put Solus in his sack and, best-girl she is, manages to find the Naughty List in there, gets out with it and unfurls it. Turns out, anyone who’s on the Naughty List gets slowly choked to death while in its presence, which is basically everyone at this point, because it’s infinitely long. So, everyone needs to start making Dex saves at the end of their turn to not get BDSMed. Except Santa, because apparently, he’s got a magic artefact that protect him from the list’s gaze.

Cassian – who is on Death’s Door, which we use ‘cus it’s baller as all hell – sees it, mentions it to Solus, and she drops a Nat 20 with a smite on that fucking thing, smashing it. So now, this naught naughty bastard gets some love from the List too. The damage the List does is proportional to the number of marks by your name on the Naughty List. While we’re cruising by with like 5-7 bludgeoning damage on a failed Dex save, he gets 100 damage, halved to 50 ‘cus he’s resistant.

He only needed to fail one Dex Save, though, ‘cus, in the end, it was Solus that got him. Yet another smite layered with Hunter’s Mark later, and his head is on the floor. Cassian dies to the Naughty List, but he went out good ‘cus he Mind Slivered Santa and got him to fail the Dex Save for the Naughty List.

So, with Santa dead, Cassian dead, and only one elf alive – the one other elf I mentioned, not the lady with main character energy – the one-shot ended. The controlled elves and Mrs. Claus fell unconscious, and the Naughty List disappeared into thin air without a host.

I’ll be honest, now that I’m done typing this out, I don’t even know why I did, but I feel so much better. I guess I just wanted to share this story with someone who wasn’t there, and, since we’re prohibited from sharing until next week, Reddit can have it. I just really love this party so much; these guys are the best.. And the DM is the absolute bomb.

ETA: TL;DR: Santa’s an arms dealer, the Grinch is the good guy, and I love my new table.

submitted by /u/HarlequinTRT
[link] [comments]

​r/DnD Fake names used, ‘cus this is supposed to mostly be a secret from the others. Oh, and privacy. Though, I’m not actually sure I know their real names. Okay, so meaningless backstory, skip the paragraph if not interested: I joined up with this group October this year, and we play every Sunday. It’s online D&D and we use Discord & Foundry, because nobody plays D&D in Nigeria and online D&D is the only D&D I’ve ever played since starting early 2020. Anyway, in the ad posting, the DM said the game was pretty hardcore, and I liked that idea, since I’ve never been in a hardcore game. And it’s been pretty hardcore; 7 day LR, 8hr SR, Diseases, Curses and all that shiz. But then he’s added these fuckin’ awesome homebrew mechanics to everything – the guy’s a sleepless genius, I swear – that just make the game so much more fun. He’s got harsh rulings, but he’s fair, and the group is absolutely lovely. These guys are some of the best D&D players I’ve ever seen, though that doesn’t exactly count for a lot. They’re all rules lawyers and power gamers, but in the best way possible because the world of the game encourages that. And this worldbuilding, bro… Let’s not even get into that, ‘cus this guy is a mad genius. Anyway, backstory done and gushing (mostly) completed, last week, he asks if people wanna join in on a Christmas one-shot. I’m like, “Fuck yeah; I’ve got nothing better to do anyway.” Problem is, most of the others are actually functional adults and have lives, jobs, parties and stuff. So, it’s just down to me, John and Jeff. Noice; I like John! He’s funny and his RP is immaculate. Then John pulls out of the one-shot ‘cus he misread his calendar (no big deal), and I’m sweating a bit. I don’t dislike Jeff or anything, I just haven’t related to him as much as I have the others. It’s like when there’s two introverts and an extrovert in a friend group: once the extrovert steps out of the room, the other two are kinda just staring at each other like, “Who even are you, my guy?” So, yeah, I’m nervous, ‘cus what if I can’t make good RP with this guy, and it becomes boring during session, and the DM feels it and is disheartened or something? So, some part of me was kinda praying that something would come up so we could cancel the oneshot. I’m glad nothing happened, because he was a really fun guy to play with (pause). Characters: Obviously, nothing came up, and the oneshot happened. We each played two level 5 characters: me, an Eladrin Evoc. Wizard named Cassian Cringle and a Dragonborn Vengeance Paladin named Solus G. Rinch. Jeff pulled up with two gnomes: Ale and Bread Ginger, a Fiend Warlock and Arcane Trickster Rogue respectively. The premise is simple: we’re all assholes with a grudge against Santa and want to ruin his Christmas by stealing the Naughty List. Except Cassian, though: he wants to steal the Naughty List to grab some of that Christmas Magic, ‘cus he’s a historian, wizard and an archaeologist. I mean, what historian would pass up a comprehensive list of the sins of every living thing since the beginning of time? Solus was fuelled by the rage she felt from not ever getting a Christmas present and worshipped The Mean One. Ale was an ex-elf of Santa that tried stealing the Christmas Magic after signing a Pact with The Mean One (I swear, we used the same name and we didn’t even collaborate on character creation except for classes.) Bread was Ale’s brother that was pissed that they were separated, ‘cus their family couldn’t afford to keep both of them. He blamed Santa for that. Characters covered, the one-shot starts with a snowball fight with some animated snowmen. Goofy, right? Then we get to the talking doorknob, who asks us three riddles. First one was about a Gingerbread Man. I can’t recite the riddle ‘cus he deleted the logs so the others wouldn’t know about the details of the session. Light hearted enough, right? Then the second hits, and, while I can’t remember the first two lines, the last two were: “Frozen for eternity by his cold touch; I wish I had never come here.” The answer was snowmen. So, bells are ringing, and they’re not the Jingle ones. That’s pretty fuckin’ dark, but we move. The 3rd riddle solidifies this feeling: “They’re bad, unredeemable, unforgivable, and are gone by the 25th.” Not the exact words, but gets the point across. The answer’s pretty obvious, right? Of course, it’s bad children! And adults, too, of course. This isn’t Diddy we’re dealing with; it’s Santa. He’s an equal-opportunity kidnapper. A’it, so we’re let into Santa’s shack and come across Mrs. Claus. She seems nice enough; there’s a full table of baked goods and everything. Solus, despite her burning hatred for the fat man himself, has a soft spot for kind people, so she indulges despite Cassian’s several warnings. Ale and Bread disguise themselves as elves with Disguise Self (Eldritch Invocation) and are kinda obligated to eat. Cassian has shit Dex and shit luck, so he fails on the Sleight of Hand to pretend to eat the food while actually just throwing it away. He has to grab a bite, and, surprise-surprise, everyone else starts going unconscious. Because he only took a bite, he’s fine, but the elves gather around the table and he pretends to be asleep. At least, he tries to, but shit Charisma and shit luck strike. The elves – cute little people that look like children – then proceed to grab Cassian’s head and bashes it into the table until he’s unconscious (no damage dealt, just flavour.) So, we wake up in Santa’s dungeon. There’s some shenanigans with a Mimic present, but that’s mostly by-the-by. Anyway, we escape our cells thanks to Bread’s Lederhosen Mage Hand (I’m not googling that shit), and in comes the big bad himself. He beelines for Solus, because she’s just getting out of her cell and is directly in front of him(she just Kool-Aid manned it through the cell doors). Solus is absolutely chomping at the bit to fight him, and Cassian decides to help with a Winter Fey Step (Frightened on a failed Wisdom Save). My brethren in Christ, when I saw a 28 wisdom save and it wasn’t even a Nat 20, I knew exactly what kind of timing we were on. Then, once initiative started and he said “Legendary Action”… yeah. Shit got real very fucking fast. We got bodied, to say the least: he shoved Cassian in his sack (he managed to escape that) then Commanded him to go back to his cell (failed the save, cus why would a Wizard succeed on a Wisdom save, right?). Then, he used said sack to whack Solus back into her cell and knock her out. Ale and Bread saved Solus’ ass by making it seem that there was an elven rebellion among the elves locked up in the dungeon, and Santa went to take care of that. It was at this point we saw exactly how much of a fucking psycho Santa was. He just grabbed some poor elf that wasn’t even saying anything and snapped his neck, then dumped his body right there in the dungeon. Then, he walked out. He didn’t even lock us back in our cells, ‘cus why would he, right? …Well, fuck. So, we’re down in the dungeon licking our wounds when we find out something absolutely terrifying: much like the 3rd riddle implied, Santa kidnapped “naughty people” and stashed them here, before feeding them some magic food that basically turned them into elves and reindeer. So these were just regular-ass people who had been forced into tiny clothes and made into tiny people. Then, we asked what Santa did the rest of the year. Turns out this Santa – yes, it’s a Fae lineage thing – is actually a goddamn dealer the rest of the year. A dealer of what, you might ask? Drugs, guns, trafficking: basically everything. And he used Christmas magic to enhance his trade. The elves made stuff for him, but because of the rules of being Santa, he still has to make and deliver toys. Anyway, Ale insights rebellion among the dungeon-dwellers, and we move into Santa’s workshop, where we get swarmed by controlled elves. Creepily wide smiles, synchronised voices and spell-casting; the whole business. Santa’s not in sight, and after a Fireball wipes out the spellcasters among them, it looks like we might be getting out of this. Guess who decides to show up? Yup, call it Diabolus Ex Machina, but this fat bastard shows up through our exit route, and now we’ve gotta run the ones. Cassian does Wizard shit and centers a Fireball explosion on himself (Spell Sculpt, so he’s a’it,) and most of the controlled elves are down. He swings his sack around a few times, then, pulls out a fucking FLAMETHROWER. 5d10 fire damage on a failed Con Save. Cassian fails his saving throw ‘cus that’s his signature move, but Absorb Elements stops him from going down. Solus succeeds, so takes half of half damage, ‘cus Red Dragonborn. The allied elves that were caught in the blast radius were, in the words of Thanos, “gone. Reduced to atoms.” Well, except one, but I’ll get back to her. Solus is ripping into Saint Dick as much as she can with a non-magical sword – ‘cus of course he’s resistant to non-magical weapon attacks and elemental damage – and every turn adds on Vow of Enmity, Hunter’s Mark; all the bonus action damage mods. Cassian manages to give her Lightning Dragon’s Breath for a bit, but he’s downed, so… yeah. Ale and Bread are holding back some elven reinforcements. And then, there’s that one elf that I mentioned. She’s not the only elf still alive – there’s another guy left – but she must’ve been the MC of a different campaign, ‘cus she was constantly stabbing into Santa like nobody’s business. 10 damage halved every turn, and she hit like 6 times, so 30 damage before Santa pulled out the Flamethrower again and lit her up. So, we were getting evidently butt-fucked by O’Santa bin Laden. Then, he decides to put Solus in his sack and, best-girl she is, manages to find the Naughty List in there, gets out with it and unfurls it. Turns out, anyone who’s on the Naughty List gets slowly choked to death while in its presence, which is basically everyone at this point, because it’s infinitely long. So, everyone needs to start making Dex saves at the end of their turn to not get BDSMed. Except Santa, because apparently, he’s got a magic artefact that protect him from the list’s gaze. Cassian – who is on Death’s Door, which we use ‘cus it’s baller as all hell – sees it, mentions it to Solus, and she drops a Nat 20 with a smite on that fucking thing, smashing it. So now, this naught naughty bastard gets some love from the List too. The damage the List does is proportional to the number of marks by your name on the Naughty List. While we’re cruising by with like 5-7 bludgeoning damage on a failed Dex save, he gets 100 damage, halved to 50 ‘cus he’s resistant. He only needed to fail one Dex Save, though, ‘cus, in the end, it was Solus that got him. Yet another smite layered with Hunter’s Mark later, and his head is on the floor. Cassian dies to the Naughty List, but he went out good ‘cus he Mind Slivered Santa and got him to fail the Dex Save for the Naughty List. So, with Santa dead, Cassian dead, and only one elf alive – the one other elf I mentioned, not the lady with main character energy – the one-shot ended. The controlled elves and Mrs. Claus fell unconscious, and the Naughty List disappeared into thin air without a host. I’ll be honest, now that I’m done typing this out, I don’t even know why I did, but I feel so much better. I guess I just wanted to share this story with someone who wasn’t there, and, since we’re prohibited from sharing until next week, Reddit can have it. I just really love this party so much; these guys are the best.. And the DM is the absolute bomb. ETA: TL;DR: Santa’s an arms dealer, the Grinch is the good guy, and I love my new table. submitted by /u/HarlequinTRT [link] [comments] 

Fake names used, ‘cus this is supposed to mostly be a secret from the others. Oh, and privacy. Though, I’m not actually sure I know their real names.

Okay, so meaningless backstory, skip the paragraph if not interested: I joined up with this group October this year, and we play every Sunday. It’s online D&D and we use Discord & Foundry, because nobody plays D&D in Nigeria and online D&D is the only D&D I’ve ever played since starting early 2020. Anyway, in the ad posting, the DM said the game was pretty hardcore, and I liked that idea, since I’ve never been in a hardcore game. And it’s been pretty hardcore; 7 day LR, 8hr SR, Diseases, Curses and all that shiz. But then he’s added these fuckin’ awesome homebrew mechanics to everything – the guy’s a sleepless genius, I swear – that just make the game so much more fun. He’s got harsh rulings, but he’s fair, and the group is absolutely lovely. These guys are some of the best D&D players I’ve ever seen, though that doesn’t exactly count for a lot. They’re all rules lawyers and power gamers, but in the best way possible because the world of the game encourages that. And this worldbuilding, bro… Let’s not even get into that, ‘cus this guy is a mad genius.

Anyway, backstory done and gushing (mostly) completed, last week, he asks if people wanna join in on a Christmas one-shot. I’m like, “Fuck yeah; I’ve got nothing better to do anyway.” Problem is, most of the others are actually functional adults and have lives, jobs, parties and stuff. So, it’s just down to me, John and Jeff. Noice; I like John! He’s funny and his RP is immaculate. Then John pulls out of the one-shot ‘cus he misread his calendar (no big deal), and I’m sweating a bit. I don’t dislike Jeff or anything, I just haven’t related to him as much as I have the others. It’s like when there’s two introverts and an extrovert in a friend group: once the extrovert steps out of the room, the other two are kinda just staring at each other like, “Who even are you, my guy?” So, yeah, I’m nervous, ‘cus what if I can’t make good RP with this guy, and it becomes boring during session, and the DM feels it and is disheartened or something? So, some part of me was kinda praying that something would come up so we could cancel the oneshot. I’m glad nothing happened, because he was a really fun guy to play with (pause).

Characters: Obviously, nothing came up, and the oneshot happened. We each played two level 5 characters: me, an Eladrin Evoc. Wizard named Cassian Cringle and a Dragonborn Vengeance Paladin named Solus G. Rinch. Jeff pulled up with two gnomes: Ale and Bread Ginger, a Fiend Warlock and Arcane Trickster Rogue respectively. The premise is simple: we’re all assholes with a grudge against Santa and want to ruin his Christmas by stealing the Naughty List. Except Cassian, though: he wants to steal the Naughty List to grab some of that Christmas Magic, ‘cus he’s a historian, wizard and an archaeologist. I mean, what historian would pass up a comprehensive list of the sins of every living thing since the beginning of time? Solus was fuelled by the rage she felt from not ever getting a Christmas present and worshipped The Mean One. Ale was an ex-elf of Santa that tried stealing the Christmas Magic after signing a Pact with The Mean One (I swear, we used the same name and we didn’t even collaborate on character creation except for classes.) Bread was Ale’s brother that was pissed that they were separated, ‘cus their family couldn’t afford to keep both of them. He blamed Santa for that.

Characters covered, the one-shot starts with a snowball fight with some animated snowmen. Goofy, right? Then we get to the talking doorknob, who asks us three riddles. First one was about a Gingerbread Man. I can’t recite the riddle ‘cus he deleted the logs so the others wouldn’t know about the details of the session. Light hearted enough, right?

Then the second hits, and, while I can’t remember the first two lines, the last two were: “Frozen for eternity by his cold touch; I wish I had never come here.” The answer was snowmen.

So, bells are ringing, and they’re not the Jingle ones. That’s pretty fuckin’ dark, but we move. The 3rd riddle solidifies this feeling: “They’re bad, unredeemable, unforgivable, and are gone by the 25th.” Not the exact words, but gets the point across. The answer’s pretty obvious, right? Of course, it’s bad children! And adults, too, of course. This isn’t Diddy we’re dealing with; it’s Santa. He’s an equal-opportunity kidnapper.

A’it, so we’re let into Santa’s shack and come across Mrs. Claus. She seems nice enough; there’s a full table of baked goods and everything. Solus, despite her burning hatred for the fat man himself, has a soft spot for kind people, so she indulges despite Cassian’s several warnings. Ale and Bread disguise themselves as elves with Disguise Self (Eldritch Invocation) and are kinda obligated to eat. Cassian has shit Dex and shit luck, so he fails on the Sleight of Hand to pretend to eat the food while actually just throwing it away. He has to grab a bite, and, surprise-surprise, everyone else starts going unconscious. Because he only took a bite, he’s fine, but the elves gather around the table and he pretends to be asleep. At least, he tries to, but shit Charisma and shit luck strike. The elves – cute little people that look like children – then proceed to grab Cassian’s head and bashes it into the table until he’s unconscious (no damage dealt, just flavour.)

So, we wake up in Santa’s dungeon. There’s some shenanigans with a Mimic present, but that’s mostly by-the-by. Anyway, we escape our cells thanks to Bread’s Lederhosen Mage Hand (I’m not googling that shit), and in comes the big bad himself. He beelines for Solus, because she’s just getting out of her cell and is directly in front of him(she just Kool-Aid manned it through the cell doors). Solus is absolutely chomping at the bit to fight him, and Cassian decides to help with a Winter Fey Step (Frightened on a failed Wisdom Save).

My brethren in Christ, when I saw a 28 wisdom save and it wasn’t even a Nat 20, I knew exactly what kind of timing we were on. Then, once initiative started and he said “Legendary Action”… yeah. Shit got real very fucking fast.

We got bodied, to say the least: he shoved Cassian in his sack (he managed to escape that) then Commanded him to go back to his cell (failed the save, cus why would a Wizard succeed on a Wisdom save, right?). Then, he used said sack to whack Solus back into her cell and knock her out. Ale and Bread saved Solus’ ass by making it seem that there was an elven rebellion among the elves locked up in the dungeon, and Santa went to take care of that.

It was at this point we saw exactly how much of a fucking psycho Santa was. He just grabbed some poor elf that wasn’t even saying anything and snapped his neck, then dumped his body right there in the dungeon. Then, he walked out. He didn’t even lock us back in our cells, ‘cus why would he, right?

…Well, fuck.

So, we’re down in the dungeon licking our wounds when we find out something absolutely terrifying: much like the 3rd riddle implied, Santa kidnapped “naughty people” and stashed them here, before feeding them some magic food that basically turned them into elves and reindeer. So these were just regular-ass people who had been forced into tiny clothes and made into tiny people. Then, we asked what Santa did the rest of the year. Turns out this Santa – yes, it’s a Fae lineage thing – is actually a goddamn dealer the rest of the year. A dealer of what, you might ask? Drugs, guns, trafficking: basically everything. And he used Christmas magic to enhance his trade. The elves made stuff for him, but because of the rules of being Santa, he still has to make and deliver toys.

Anyway, Ale insights rebellion among the dungeon-dwellers, and we move into Santa’s workshop, where we get swarmed by controlled elves. Creepily wide smiles, synchronised voices and spell-casting; the whole business. Santa’s not in sight, and after a Fireball wipes out the spellcasters among them, it looks like we might be getting out of this.

Guess who decides to show up?

Yup, call it Diabolus Ex Machina, but this fat bastard shows up through our exit route, and now we’ve gotta run the ones. Cassian does Wizard shit and centers a Fireball explosion on himself (Spell Sculpt, so he’s a’it,) and most of the controlled elves are down. He swings his sack around a few times, then, pulls out a fucking FLAMETHROWER. 5d10 fire damage on a failed Con Save. Cassian fails his saving throw ‘cus that’s his signature move, but Absorb Elements stops him from going down. Solus succeeds, so takes half of half damage, ‘cus Red Dragonborn. The allied elves that were caught in the blast radius were, in the words of Thanos, “gone. Reduced to atoms.” Well, except one, but I’ll get back to her.

Solus is ripping into Saint Dick as much as she can with a non-magical sword – ‘cus of course he’s resistant to non-magical weapon attacks and elemental damage – and every turn adds on Vow of Enmity, Hunter’s Mark; all the bonus action damage mods. Cassian manages to give her Lightning Dragon’s Breath for a bit, but he’s downed, so… yeah. Ale and Bread are holding back some elven reinforcements. And then, there’s that one elf that I mentioned. She’s not the only elf still alive – there’s another guy left – but she must’ve been the MC of a different campaign, ‘cus she was constantly stabbing into Santa like nobody’s business. 10 damage halved every turn, and she hit like 6 times, so 30 damage before Santa pulled out the Flamethrower again and lit her up.

So, we were getting evidently butt-fucked by O’Santa bin Laden. Then, he decides to put Solus in his sack and, best-girl she is, manages to find the Naughty List in there, gets out with it and unfurls it. Turns out, anyone who’s on the Naughty List gets slowly choked to death while in its presence, which is basically everyone at this point, because it’s infinitely long. So, everyone needs to start making Dex saves at the end of their turn to not get BDSMed. Except Santa, because apparently, he’s got a magic artefact that protect him from the list’s gaze.

Cassian – who is on Death’s Door, which we use ‘cus it’s baller as all hell – sees it, mentions it to Solus, and she drops a Nat 20 with a smite on that fucking thing, smashing it. So now, this naught naughty bastard gets some love from the List too. The damage the List does is proportional to the number of marks by your name on the Naughty List. While we’re cruising by with like 5-7 bludgeoning damage on a failed Dex save, he gets 100 damage, halved to 50 ‘cus he’s resistant.

He only needed to fail one Dex Save, though, ‘cus, in the end, it was Solus that got him. Yet another smite layered with Hunter’s Mark later, and his head is on the floor. Cassian dies to the Naughty List, but he went out good ‘cus he Mind Slivered Santa and got him to fail the Dex Save for the Naughty List.

So, with Santa dead, Cassian dead, and only one elf alive – the one other elf I mentioned, not the lady with main character energy – the one-shot ended. The controlled elves and Mrs. Claus fell unconscious, and the Naughty List disappeared into thin air without a host.

I’ll be honest, now that I’m done typing this out, I don’t even know why I did, but I feel so much better. I guess I just wanted to share this story with someone who wasn’t there, and, since we’re prohibited from sharing until next week, Reddit can have it. I just really love this party so much; these guys are the best.. And the DM is the absolute bomb.

ETA: TL;DR: Santa’s an arms dealer, the Grinch is the good guy, and I love my new table.

submitted by /u/HarlequinTRT
[link] [comments]  Fake names used, ‘cus this is supposed to mostly be a secret from the others. Oh, and privacy. Though, I’m not actually sure I know their real names. Okay, so meaningless backstory, skip the paragraph if not interested: I joined up with this group October this year, and we play every Sunday. It’s online D&D and we use Discord & Foundry, because nobody plays D&D in Nigeria and online D&D is the only D&D I’ve ever played since starting early 2020. Anyway, in the ad posting, the DM said the game was pretty hardcore, and I liked that idea, since I’ve never been in a hardcore game. And it’s been pretty hardcore; 7 day LR, 8hr SR, Diseases, Curses and all that shiz. But then he’s added these fuckin’ awesome homebrew mechanics to everything – the guy’s a sleepless genius, I swear – that just make the game so much more fun. He’s got harsh rulings, but he’s fair, and the group is absolutely lovely. These guys are some of the best D&D players I’ve ever seen, though that doesn’t exactly count for a lot. They’re all rules lawyers and power gamers, but in the best way possible because the world of the game encourages that. And this worldbuilding, bro… Let’s not even get into that, ‘cus this guy is a mad genius. Anyway, backstory done and gushing (mostly) completed, last week, he asks if people wanna join in on a Christmas one-shot. I’m like, “Fuck yeah; I’ve got nothing better to do anyway.” Problem is, most of the others are actually functional adults and have lives, jobs, parties and stuff. So, it’s just down to me, John and Jeff. Noice; I like John! He’s funny and his RP is immaculate. Then John pulls out of the one-shot ‘cus he misread his calendar (no big deal), and I’m sweating a bit. I don’t dislike Jeff or anything, I just haven’t related to him as much as I have the others. It’s like when there’s two introverts and an extrovert in a friend group: once the extrovert steps out of the room, the other two are kinda just staring at each other like, “Who even are you, my guy?” So, yeah, I’m nervous, ‘cus what if I can’t make good RP with this guy, and it becomes boring during session, and the DM feels it and is disheartened or something? So, some part of me was kinda praying that something would come up so we could cancel the oneshot. I’m glad nothing happened, because he was a really fun guy to play with (pause). Characters: Obviously, nothing came up, and the oneshot happened. We each played two level 5 characters: me, an Eladrin Evoc. Wizard named Cassian Cringle and a Dragonborn Vengeance Paladin named Solus G. Rinch. Jeff pulled up with two gnomes: Ale and Bread Ginger, a Fiend Warlock and Arcane Trickster Rogue respectively. The premise is simple: we’re all assholes with a grudge against Santa and want to ruin his Christmas by stealing the Naughty List. Except Cassian, though: he wants to steal the Naughty List to grab some of that Christmas Magic, ‘cus he’s a historian, wizard and an archaeologist. I mean, what historian would pass up a comprehensive list of the sins of every living thing since the beginning of time? Solus was fuelled by the rage she felt from not ever getting a Christmas present and worshipped The Mean One. Ale was an ex-elf of Santa that tried stealing the Christmas Magic after signing a Pact with The Mean One (I swear, we used the same name and we didn’t even collaborate on character creation except for classes.) Bread was Ale’s brother that was pissed that they were separated, ‘cus their family couldn’t afford to keep both of them. He blamed Santa for that. Characters covered, the one-shot starts with a snowball fight with some animated snowmen. Goofy, right? Then we get to the talking doorknob, who asks us three riddles. First one was about a Gingerbread Man. I can’t recite the riddle ‘cus he deleted the logs so the others wouldn’t know about the details of the session. Light hearted enough, right? Then the second hits, and, while I can’t remember the first two lines, the last two were: “Frozen for eternity by his cold touch; I wish I had never come here.” The answer was snowmen. So, bells are ringing, and they’re not the Jingle ones. That’s pretty fuckin’ dark, but we move. The 3rd riddle solidifies this feeling: “They’re bad, unredeemable, unforgivable, and are gone by the 25th.” Not the exact words, but gets the point across. The answer’s pretty obvious, right? Of course, it’s bad children! And adults, too, of course. This isn’t Diddy we’re dealing with; it’s Santa. He’s an equal-opportunity kidnapper. A’it, so we’re let into Santa’s shack and come across Mrs. Claus. She seems nice enough; there’s a full table of baked goods and everything. Solus, despite her burning hatred for the fat man himself, has a soft spot for kind people, so she indulges despite Cassian’s several warnings. Ale and Bread disguise themselves as elves with Disguise Self (Eldritch Invocation) and are kinda obligated to eat. Cassian has shit Dex and shit luck, so he fails on the Sleight of Hand to pretend to eat the food while actually just throwing it away. He has to grab a bite, and, surprise-surprise, everyone else starts going unconscious. Because he only took a bite, he’s fine, but the elves gather around the table and he pretends to be asleep. At least, he tries to, but shit Charisma and shit luck strike. The elves – cute little people that look like children – then proceed to grab Cassian’s head and bashes it into the table until he’s unconscious (no damage dealt, just flavour.) So, we wake up in Santa’s dungeon. There’s some shenanigans with a Mimic present, but that’s mostly by-the-by. Anyway, we escape our cells thanks to Bread’s Lederhosen Mage Hand (I’m not googling that shit), and in comes the big bad himself. He beelines for Solus, because she’s just getting out of her cell and is directly in front of him(she just Kool-Aid manned it through the cell doors). Solus is absolutely chomping at the bit to fight him, and Cassian decides to help with a Winter Fey Step (Frightened on a failed Wisdom Save). My brethren in Christ, when I saw a 28 wisdom save and it wasn’t even a Nat 20, I knew exactly what kind of timing we were on. Then, once initiative started and he said “Legendary Action”… yeah. Shit got real very fucking fast. We got bodied, to say the least: he shoved Cassian in his sack (he managed to escape that) then Commanded him to go back to his cell (failed the save, cus why would a Wizard succeed on a Wisdom save, right?). Then, he used said sack to whack Solus back into her cell and knock her out. Ale and Bread saved Solus’ ass by making it seem that there was an elven rebellion among the elves locked up in the dungeon, and Santa went to take care of that. It was at this point we saw exactly how much of a fucking psycho Santa was. He just grabbed some poor elf that wasn’t even saying anything and snapped his neck, then dumped his body right there in the dungeon. Then, he walked out. He didn’t even lock us back in our cells, ‘cus why would he, right? …Well, fuck. So, we’re down in the dungeon licking our wounds when we find out something absolutely terrifying: much like the 3rd riddle implied, Santa kidnapped “naughty people” and stashed them here, before feeding them some magic food that basically turned them into elves and reindeer. So these were just regular-ass people who had been forced into tiny clothes and made into tiny people. Then, we asked what Santa did the rest of the year. Turns out this Santa – yes, it’s a Fae lineage thing – is actually a goddamn dealer the rest of the year. A dealer of what, you might ask? Drugs, guns, trafficking: basically everything. And he used Christmas magic to enhance his trade. The elves made stuff for him, but because of the rules of being Santa, he still has to make and deliver toys. Anyway, Ale insights rebellion among the dungeon-dwellers, and we move into Santa’s workshop, where we get swarmed by controlled elves. Creepily wide smiles, synchronised voices and spell-casting; the whole business. Santa’s not in sight, and after a Fireball wipes out the spellcasters among them, it looks like we might be getting out of this. Guess who decides to show up? Yup, call it Diabolus Ex Machina, but this fat bastard shows up through our exit route, and now we’ve gotta run the ones. Cassian does Wizard shit and centers a Fireball explosion on himself (Spell Sculpt, so he’s a’it,) and most of the controlled elves are down. He swings his sack around a few times, then, pulls out a fucking FLAMETHROWER. 5d10 fire damage on a failed Con Save. Cassian fails his saving throw ‘cus that’s his signature move, but Absorb Elements stops him from going down. Solus succeeds, so takes half of half damage, ‘cus Red Dragonborn. The allied elves that were caught in the blast radius were, in the words of Thanos, “gone. Reduced to atoms.” Well, except one, but I’ll get back to her. Solus is ripping into Saint Dick as much as she can with a non-magical sword – ‘cus of course he’s resistant to non-magical weapon attacks and elemental damage – and every turn adds on Vow of Enmity, Hunter’s Mark; all the bonus action damage mods. Cassian manages to give her Lightning Dragon’s Breath for a bit, but he’s downed, so… yeah. Ale and Bread are holding back some elven reinforcements. And then, there’s that one elf that I mentioned. She’s not the only elf still alive – there’s another guy left – but she must’ve been the MC of a different campaign, ‘cus she was constantly stabbing into Santa like nobody’s business. 10 damage halved every turn, and she hit like 6 times, so 30 damage before Santa pulled out the Flamethrower again and lit her up. So, we were getting evidently butt-fucked by O’Santa bin Laden. Then, he decides to put Solus in his sack and, best-girl she is, manages to find the Naughty List in there, gets out with it and unfurls it. Turns out, anyone who’s on the Naughty List gets slowly choked to death while in its presence, which is basically everyone at this point, because it’s infinitely long. So, everyone needs to start making Dex saves at the end of their turn to not get BDSMed. Except Santa, because apparently, he’s got a magic artefact that protect him from the list’s gaze. Cassian – who is on Death’s Door, which we use ‘cus it’s baller as all hell – sees it, mentions it to Solus, and she drops a Nat 20 with a smite on that fucking thing, smashing it. So now, this naught naughty bastard gets some love from the List too. The damage the List does is proportional to the number of marks by your name on the Naughty List. While we’re cruising by with like 5-7 bludgeoning damage on a failed Dex save, he gets 100 damage, halved to 50 ‘cus he’s resistant. He only needed to fail one Dex Save, though, ‘cus, in the end, it was Solus that got him. Yet another smite layered with Hunter’s Mark later, and his head is on the floor. Cassian dies to the Naughty List, but he went out good ‘cus he Mind Slivered Santa and got him to fail the Dex Save for the Naughty List. So, with Santa dead, Cassian dead, and only one elf alive – the one other elf I mentioned, not the lady with main character energy – the one-shot ended. The controlled elves and Mrs. Claus fell unconscious, and the Naughty List disappeared into thin air without a host. I’ll be honest, now that I’m done typing this out, I don’t even know why I did, but I feel so much better. I guess I just wanted to share this story with someone who wasn’t there, and, since we’re prohibited from sharing until next week, Reddit can have it. I just really love this party so much; these guys are the best.. And the DM is the absolute bomb. ETA: TL;DR: Santa’s an arms dealer, the Grinch is the good guy, and I love my new table. submitted by /u/HarlequinTRT [link] [comments]

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