My husband absolutely loves for me to put on outfits or lingerie. We literally have an entire bin that slides under the bed full of different outfits, corsets, fishnets, body stocking, skirts, micro dresses, and even wigs and pretty eye masks. I cleaned it out recently and got rid of anything that had snags, holes, rarely got used, etc and there had to do be at least 25 items in there. Probably more. You name it, I probably own it, and just ordered more for St. Pat’s today.
Here’s the thing. I’m not skinny. I’m not considered to be “overweight” according to my BMI but I was a good 20 lbs lighter when we met. I would not mind the lingerie so much if I felt like I actually looked decent in it and I could do ones that I felt like were “pretty” and covered my problems areas. But he wants me in leather, corsets, and tiny little strappy things that I look like tied pork loin in. He will show me ones online and I always have to remind him, “you need to keep in mind that I don’t look like that. That won’t look the same on me.” I have carried, birthed, and nursed multiple children. Even if I somehow managed to escape stretch marks on my stomach I still have a mom bod.
For the most part, I have learned how to deal with it. If he says it’s my choice I will pick something that covers more but he is gets obviously disappointed. If I put on something that I hate he is full mast and loves it. I do not understand. The issue is that once I cave and humor him with a “good one” he is practically insatiable for more. In the last 7 days (since he picked an outfit for valentine’s day and then was so excited he requested other outfits leading up to it) I have likely had to put something on at least 4 times and at least 2 were full blown with hair or accessories. Afterwards he is so happy that all the next day he’s creeping up behind me to hug me but then whispering in my ear, “are we gonna have fun later? What are you going to wear?” Or “I want you to wear _______.” Then my mood is soured the rest of the day knowing that I need to shower, shave, and attempt to squeeze myself into something that makes me look ridiculous because he just plain doesn’t like me naked before I can go to sleep.
Admittedly, I do have Body Dysmorphic Disorder… except instead of focusing on one specific thing I basically hate everything. It doesn’t matter that I have spent half my life with my husband. He has seen me heavier, lighter, sick, fit, pregnant, giving birth, with leaking boobs or tampon strings. There isn’t much left to hide. He has seen it all. But for some reason I just cannot relax and try to enjoy whatever it is he enjoys about these outfits. I understand “different strokes for different folks” and everything. There are things that he doesn’t really enjoy that I do and he indulges in for me so it isn’t unequal. He isn’t forcing me. There are times I just say no. I just hate feeling so unattractive and uncomfortable during a time I feel like I should be sexy.
Those that love lingerie or outfits, can you please help me understand why? Those that are able to love your body regardless of flaws, how?
Edit: please put your responses in here to potentially help others also. I apparently can’t add more without getting deleted.
submitted by /u/Just4TheSpamAndEggs
[link] [comments]
r/sex My husband absolutely loves for me to put on outfits or lingerie. We literally have an entire bin that slides under the bed full of different outfits, corsets, fishnets, body stocking, skirts, micro dresses, and even wigs and pretty eye masks. I cleaned it out recently and got rid of anything that had snags, holes, rarely got used, etc and there had to do be at least 25 items in there. Probably more. You name it, I probably own it, and just ordered more for St. Pat’s today. Here’s the thing. I’m not skinny. I’m not considered to be “overweight” according to my BMI but I was a good 20 lbs lighter when we met. I would not mind the lingerie so much if I felt like I actually looked decent in it and I could do ones that I felt like were “pretty” and covered my problems areas. But he wants me in leather, corsets, and tiny little strappy things that I look like tied pork loin in. He will show me ones online and I always have to remind him, “you need to keep in mind that I don’t look like that. That won’t look the same on me.” I have carried, birthed, and nursed multiple children. Even if I somehow managed to escape stretch marks on my stomach I still have a mom bod. For the most part, I have learned how to deal with it. If he says it’s my choice I will pick something that covers more but he is gets obviously disappointed. If I put on something that I hate he is full mast and loves it. I do not understand. The issue is that once I cave and humor him with a “good one” he is practically insatiable for more. In the last 7 days (since he picked an outfit for valentine’s day and then was so excited he requested other outfits leading up to it) I have likely had to put something on at least 4 times and at least 2 were full blown with hair or accessories. Afterwards he is so happy that all the next day he’s creeping up behind me to hug me but then whispering in my ear, “are we gonna have fun later? What are you going to wear?” Or “I want you to wear _______.” Then my mood is soured the rest of the day knowing that I need to shower, shave, and attempt to squeeze myself into something that makes me look ridiculous because he just plain doesn’t like me naked before I can go to sleep. Admittedly, I do have Body Dysmorphic Disorder… except instead of focusing on one specific thing I basically hate everything. It doesn’t matter that I have spent half my life with my husband. He has seen me heavier, lighter, sick, fit, pregnant, giving birth, with leaking boobs or tampon strings. There isn’t much left to hide. He has seen it all. But for some reason I just cannot relax and try to enjoy whatever it is he enjoys about these outfits. I understand “different strokes for different folks” and everything. There are things that he doesn’t really enjoy that I do and he indulges in for me so it isn’t unequal. He isn’t forcing me. There are times I just say no. I just hate feeling so unattractive and uncomfortable during a time I feel like I should be sexy. Those that love lingerie or outfits, can you please help me understand why? Those that are able to love your body regardless of flaws, how? Edit: please put your responses in here to potentially help others also. I apparently can’t add more without getting deleted. submitted by /u/Just4TheSpamAndEggs [link] [comments]
My husband absolutely loves for me to put on outfits or lingerie. We literally have an entire bin that slides under the bed full of different outfits, corsets, fishnets, body stocking, skirts, micro dresses, and even wigs and pretty eye masks. I cleaned it out recently and got rid of anything that had snags, holes, rarely got used, etc and there had to do be at least 25 items in there. Probably more. You name it, I probably own it, and just ordered more for St. Pat’s today.
Here’s the thing. I’m not skinny. I’m not considered to be “overweight” according to my BMI but I was a good 20 lbs lighter when we met. I would not mind the lingerie so much if I felt like I actually looked decent in it and I could do ones that I felt like were “pretty” and covered my problems areas. But he wants me in leather, corsets, and tiny little strappy things that I look like tied pork loin in. He will show me ones online and I always have to remind him, “you need to keep in mind that I don’t look like that. That won’t look the same on me.” I have carried, birthed, and nursed multiple children. Even if I somehow managed to escape stretch marks on my stomach I still have a mom bod.
For the most part, I have learned how to deal with it. If he says it’s my choice I will pick something that covers more but he is gets obviously disappointed. If I put on something that I hate he is full mast and loves it. I do not understand. The issue is that once I cave and humor him with a “good one” he is practically insatiable for more. In the last 7 days (since he picked an outfit for valentine’s day and then was so excited he requested other outfits leading up to it) I have likely had to put something on at least 4 times and at least 2 were full blown with hair or accessories. Afterwards he is so happy that all the next day he’s creeping up behind me to hug me but then whispering in my ear, “are we gonna have fun later? What are you going to wear?” Or “I want you to wear _______.” Then my mood is soured the rest of the day knowing that I need to shower, shave, and attempt to squeeze myself into something that makes me look ridiculous because he just plain doesn’t like me naked before I can go to sleep.
Admittedly, I do have Body Dysmorphic Disorder… except instead of focusing on one specific thing I basically hate everything. It doesn’t matter that I have spent half my life with my husband. He has seen me heavier, lighter, sick, fit, pregnant, giving birth, with leaking boobs or tampon strings. There isn’t much left to hide. He has seen it all. But for some reason I just cannot relax and try to enjoy whatever it is he enjoys about these outfits. I understand “different strokes for different folks” and everything. There are things that he doesn’t really enjoy that I do and he indulges in for me so it isn’t unequal. He isn’t forcing me. There are times I just say no. I just hate feeling so unattractive and uncomfortable during a time I feel like I should be sexy.
Those that love lingerie or outfits, can you please help me understand why? Those that are able to love your body regardless of flaws, how?
Edit: please put your responses in here to potentially help others also. I apparently can’t add more without getting deleted.
submitted by /u/Just4TheSpamAndEggs
[link] [comments]