My partner’s humiliation kinks are causing problems /u/cakeandjam2503 Sex

My partner (male, 40s, I’ll call him Kinkyguy) Is successful, witty, fun. He also loves being humiliated. He has all kinds of kinks and I’ve enjoyed acting out most of them as a kind of exciting secret. But he doesn’t want it a secret and he doesn’t want to do it with just me. I’m coping with that one.

He also wants, among other things, for me (thirties) to hotwife. Comfortable with that but less so with him watching.

I hooked up with a guy (call him Vanillaguy, twenties) and I was clear it was just for sex but big problems. Kinkyguy likes me to wear a wedding ring even though we’re not married. Vanillaguy doesn’t like it He has ambitions. So reporting back on sex has its issues.

The solution seems to have to be that Vanilla guy has to be told things he won’t want to hear or else be dumped for a Kinkyguy2. Harsh. With all kinds of other implications about who is actually using who.

Should my sexual choices be determined by Kinkyguy when he’s claiming this is about me having fun at his emotional expense? But at the same time sticking with Vanillaguy is clearly wrong.

Any ideas? I’m prepared for some flack, especially about my treatment (or labelling) of Vanillaguy.

I’m not up for being watched or for seeing Kinkyguy humiliated by others but I’m happy to dirty talk it. So if I find a Kinkyguy2 that is cool with that then all should be rosy?

My partner (male, 40s, I’ll call him Kinkyguy) Is successful, witty, fun. He also loves being humiliated. He has all kinds of kinks and I’ve enjoyed acting out most of them as a kind of exciting secret. But he doesn’t want it a secret and he doesn’t want to do it with just me. I’m coping with that one.

He also wants, among other things, for me (thirties) to hotwife. Comfortable with that but less so with him watching.

I hooked up with a guy (call him Vanillaguy, twenties) and I was clear it was just for sex but big problems. Kinkyguy likes me to wear a wedding ring even though we’re not married. Vanillaguy doesn’t like it He has ambitions. So reporting back on sex has its issues.

The solution seems to have to be that Vanilla guy has to be told things he won’t want to hear or else be dumped for a Kinkyguy2. Harsh. With all kinds of other implications about who is actually using who.

Should my sexual choices be determined by Kinkyguy when he’s claiming this is about me having fun at his emotional expense? But at the same time sticking with Vanillaguy is clearly wrong.

Any ideas? I’m prepared for some flack, especially about my treatment (or labelling) of Vanillaguy.

I’m not up for being watched or for seeing Kinkyguy humiliated by others but I’m happy to dirty talk it. So if I find a Kinkyguy2 that is cool with that then all should be rosy?