Wife says BJ’s are off the table… /u/Realistic-Piece585 Sex

Me (32M) and my wife (30F) have been having small arguments over the years about various things involving our sex life as most couples do.

We have been together for 12 years married for almost 8. In the beginning of our relationship I got blowjobs very often without asking, and we had lots of kinky sex. About once every day sometimes more. Obviously that has slowed down over the years.

Our normal sex life is good, I would prefer it more frequently, but the quality is good. We currently have it on average 3x/ month. I’d prefer it more like every other day or every three days ideally. I understand she works a lot and with the kids it’s stressful.

The issue I have is that I haven’t gotten a blow job since we got married. I’ve asked and been told yes only to be disappointed many times.

We got on the subject again because we agreed this year to cut back our spending except for things we need. We also agreed to share before purchasing so we could decide together if we’re both in agreement it’s a necessity. She wanted something and sent it to me and it’s not something we need, which I told her my opinion. She said she really wants it, so I said ok if you really want it then get it. I made a comment that she owes me jokingly. She replied what are you thinking? So I send her some emojis and she agreed to it. I was excited.

Well of course it didn’t happen and I was disappointed and upset again. We had an argument about it and she basically said she hates doing it and it’s off the table going forward.

So I asked why in the beginning it was never an issue and she never once said she didn’t enjoy it.

She told me she basically did it for me and other previous guys in the beginning to impress them and once it’s not “needed” anymore she just stops. This really bothers me because now i feel stuck in a marriage without blowjobs, and it’s something I don’t think I want to give up for my entire life. I mean even once a year I could manage, but never is kinda upsetting given she wasn’t honest about it upfront.

Am i in the wrong for feeling this way?

I apologize for rambling on, just need to vent I guess. Any suggestions on what to do from here would be great.

Me (32M) and my wife (30F) have been having small arguments over the years about various things involving our sex life as most couples do.

We have been together for 12 years married for almost 8. In the beginning of our relationship I got blowjobs very often without asking, and we had lots of kinky sex. About once every day sometimes more. Obviously that has slowed down over the years.

Our normal sex life is good, I would prefer it more frequently, but the quality is good. We currently have it on average 3x/ month. I’d prefer it more like every other day or every three days ideally. I understand she works a lot and with the kids it’s stressful.

The issue I have is that I haven’t gotten a blow job since we got married. I’ve asked and been told yes only to be disappointed many times.

We got on the subject again because we agreed this year to cut back our spending except for things we need. We also agreed to share before purchasing so we could decide together if we’re both in agreement it’s a necessity. She wanted something and sent it to me and it’s not something we need, which I told her my opinion. She said she really wants it, so I said ok if you really want it then get it. I made a comment that she owes me jokingly. She replied what are you thinking? So I send her some emojis and she agreed to it. I was excited.

Well of course it didn’t happen and I was disappointed and upset again. We had an argument about it and she basically said she hates doing it and it’s off the table going forward.

So I asked why in the beginning it was never an issue and she never once said she didn’t enjoy it.

She told me she basically did it for me and other previous guys in the beginning to impress them and once it’s not “needed” anymore she just stops. This really bothers me because now i feel stuck in a marriage without blowjobs, and it’s something I don’t think I want to give up for my entire life. I mean even once a year I could manage, but never is kinda upsetting given she wasn’t honest about it upfront.

Am i in the wrong for feeling this way?

I apologize for rambling on, just need to vent I guess. Any suggestions on what to do from here would be great.