I(25f) accidentally hurt my boyfriend (25m) and I don’t know how to fix things /u/sampleconfession Sex

I don’t know how to start but I must say that, to me, everything in our relationship is perfect. I am in my dream relationship, I want to marry this guy and I think we will be moving in together soon. Even after my mistakes he just mentions that he is hurt time to time and keeps being the supportive and caring boyfriend that he is. I feel terrible, I want him to be happy.

Long story short, he thought I called him small, I didn’t realize what I was saying. Once we talked about it the damage was done, I couldn’t convince him otherwise.

In the past I was cheated on and abused, that was my dating experience. When I met this guy he earned my trust, kept me from having sex until I really wanted it instead of feeling pressured to it (old habits from my ex, my current bf thought how to feel comfortable with saying “no”) and finally when we were having sex, I was so stressed and I didn’t know what to do. I wanted him to enjoy himself and I told him to focus on himself because I wouldn’t enjoy it… Yes, I said that and he was offended. He started questioning why that was the case and he had said that he heard me saying “I enjoyed sex before” and he tried to understand why I wouldn’t enjoy it with him. He asked what I enjoyed before so we could try it etc and I said I don’t know every penis is different. Which broke him. He didn’t have sex with me that night and tried to understand, but due to my past trauma I wasn’t completely relaxed and that didn’t help our sex life. Also once I grabbed his penis and said I could take it all in my mouth and he lost his erection. At some point he just said “your ex that you enjoyed was bigger than me, wasn’t he?” and I said yes. I will be honest, I am having my best sex life with my current bf but I ruined his confidence. I hate myself for it, I made him think that I enjoyed sex with my ex more. I was just stupid with my words.

Later on, he gave me my first orgasm from oral and he gave me my first orgasm from PIV sex only, which I didn’t know I could orgasm from. I always used my fingers to finish. Even though he wasn’t interested, we started trying anal, I loved it. But with time I realized that we were having PIV sex less than before, he gets me off with oral, does PIV for a short while and he cums after pulling out and jerking off a bit. He avoids having proper PIV sex with me. I confronted him about it and he said that since I called him small and our start wasn’t good, he lost his confidence with his penis and feels bad when he is inside me. He is a very experienced guy, which makes me insecure tbh but he says that he doesn’t know how to use his penis anymore. He isn’t small but I ruined him. I don’t know how to convince him that his size is good and I love everything with him.

When we talk about it he just tells me the same thing ” Now you are changing your attitude after the damage is done, of course if you love me and want to keep me you will lie about my size and try to keep me happy. We are in a happy relationship except this issue and you know that if I am too small for you, I am leaving. Why would you be honest with me? You called me small many times, all I can do is to try and ignore it but it is what it is, I hate my penis sometimes I just want to rip it off.”

He tried therapy and it didn’t work. I am really sad. Also he wasn’t small, he is 6 inches, I feel so stupid.

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​r/sex I don’t know how to start but I must say that, to me, everything in our relationship is perfect. I am in my dream relationship, I want to marry this guy and I think we will be moving in together soon. Even after my mistakes he just mentions that he is hurt time to time and keeps being the supportive and caring boyfriend that he is. I feel terrible, I want him to be happy. Long story short, he thought I called him small, I didn’t realize what I was saying. Once we talked about it the damage was done, I couldn’t convince him otherwise. In the past I was cheated on and abused, that was my dating experience. When I met this guy he earned my trust, kept me from having sex until I really wanted it instead of feeling pressured to it (old habits from my ex, my current bf thought how to feel comfortable with saying “no”) and finally when we were having sex, I was so stressed and I didn’t know what to do. I wanted him to enjoy himself and I told him to focus on himself because I wouldn’t enjoy it… Yes, I said that and he was offended. He started questioning why that was the case and he had said that he heard me saying “I enjoyed sex before” and he tried to understand why I wouldn’t enjoy it with him. He asked what I enjoyed before so we could try it etc and I said I don’t know every penis is different. Which broke him. He didn’t have sex with me that night and tried to understand, but due to my past trauma I wasn’t completely relaxed and that didn’t help our sex life. Also once I grabbed his penis and said I could take it all in my mouth and he lost his erection. At some point he just said “your ex that you enjoyed was bigger than me, wasn’t he?” and I said yes. I will be honest, I am having my best sex life with my current bf but I ruined his confidence. I hate myself for it, I made him think that I enjoyed sex with my ex more. I was just stupid with my words. Later on, he gave me my first orgasm from oral and he gave me my first orgasm from PIV sex only, which I didn’t know I could orgasm from. I always used my fingers to finish. Even though he wasn’t interested, we started trying anal, I loved it. But with time I realized that we were having PIV sex less than before, he gets me off with oral, does PIV for a short while and he cums after pulling out and jerking off a bit. He avoids having proper PIV sex with me. I confronted him about it and he said that since I called him small and our start wasn’t good, he lost his confidence with his penis and feels bad when he is inside me. He is a very experienced guy, which makes me insecure tbh but he says that he doesn’t know how to use his penis anymore. He isn’t small but I ruined him. I don’t know how to convince him that his size is good and I love everything with him. When we talk about it he just tells me the same thing ” Now you are changing your attitude after the damage is done, of course if you love me and want to keep me you will lie about my size and try to keep me happy. We are in a happy relationship except this issue and you know that if I am too small for you, I am leaving. Why would you be honest with me? You called me small many times, all I can do is to try and ignore it but it is what it is, I hate my penis sometimes I just want to rip it off.” He tried therapy and it didn’t work. I am really sad. Also he wasn’t small, he is 6 inches, I feel so stupid. submitted by /u/sampleconfession [link] [comments] 

I don’t know how to start but I must say that, to me, everything in our relationship is perfect. I am in my dream relationship, I want to marry this guy and I think we will be moving in together soon. Even after my mistakes he just mentions that he is hurt time to time and keeps being the supportive and caring boyfriend that he is. I feel terrible, I want him to be happy.

Long story short, he thought I called him small, I didn’t realize what I was saying. Once we talked about it the damage was done, I couldn’t convince him otherwise.

In the past I was cheated on and abused, that was my dating experience. When I met this guy he earned my trust, kept me from having sex until I really wanted it instead of feeling pressured to it (old habits from my ex, my current bf thought how to feel comfortable with saying “no”) and finally when we were having sex, I was so stressed and I didn’t know what to do. I wanted him to enjoy himself and I told him to focus on himself because I wouldn’t enjoy it… Yes, I said that and he was offended. He started questioning why that was the case and he had said that he heard me saying “I enjoyed sex before” and he tried to understand why I wouldn’t enjoy it with him. He asked what I enjoyed before so we could try it etc and I said I don’t know every penis is different. Which broke him. He didn’t have sex with me that night and tried to understand, but due to my past trauma I wasn’t completely relaxed and that didn’t help our sex life. Also once I grabbed his penis and said I could take it all in my mouth and he lost his erection. At some point he just said “your ex that you enjoyed was bigger than me, wasn’t he?” and I said yes. I will be honest, I am having my best sex life with my current bf but I ruined his confidence. I hate myself for it, I made him think that I enjoyed sex with my ex more. I was just stupid with my words.

Later on, he gave me my first orgasm from oral and he gave me my first orgasm from PIV sex only, which I didn’t know I could orgasm from. I always used my fingers to finish. Even though he wasn’t interested, we started trying anal, I loved it. But with time I realized that we were having PIV sex less than before, he gets me off with oral, does PIV for a short while and he cums after pulling out and jerking off a bit. He avoids having proper PIV sex with me. I confronted him about it and he said that since I called him small and our start wasn’t good, he lost his confidence with his penis and feels bad when he is inside me. He is a very experienced guy, which makes me insecure tbh but he says that he doesn’t know how to use his penis anymore. He isn’t small but I ruined him. I don’t know how to convince him that his size is good and I love everything with him.

When we talk about it he just tells me the same thing ” Now you are changing your attitude after the damage is done, of course if you love me and want to keep me you will lie about my size and try to keep me happy. We are in a happy relationship except this issue and you know that if I am too small for you, I am leaving. Why would you be honest with me? You called me small many times, all I can do is to try and ignore it but it is what it is, I hate my penis sometimes I just want to rip it off.”

He tried therapy and it didn’t work. I am really sad. Also he wasn’t small, he is 6 inches, I feel so stupid.

submitted by /u/sampleconfession
[link] [comments] 

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