After a long dry spell, I (37m) don’t feel any sexual attraction to wife (36F), who is suddenly very interested. /u/Effective_Wolf_421 Sex

We’ve been together for 13 years, married for 9. Have 2 kids. For various reasons, she never worked, and is now a stay at home mom. I work long stressful hours.

In the last 2 years, she grew progressively less interested in sex, to the point I’ve progressively stopped not even initiating, but even cuddling without any further intentions, because she could react badly at times, and accuse me of “forcing” her, when I was simply looking for some touch, without anything more. I figure she was stressed out being a mom, and made peace with the lack of sex, to the point I seriously don’t feel the need for it anymore. Last time we had sex was probably around a year ago.

Now, all of the sudden, in the last 2 or 3 months, she constantly talks about how horny she is, how much she needs, and I seriously feel objectified and disgusted (who would have thought!). I can’t even bring myself to cuddle with her, because, contrary to me, she is unable to respect boundaries, and will go for the crotch when I tell I am not interested.

I don’t understand where this sudden interest is coming from. Nothing has changed in our routine, I have remained at the same fitness level as before, literally nothing have changed, and her sudden need just grosses me out. Sometimes, I wonder if the lack of sex turned me into a prude, and I’m contributing to the problem. For example, a few months ago, I was travelling for work, and before I left, she was asking whether the company booked separate rooms for me and my coworker, because she wanted to do a “spicy zoom session” with me. I felt incredibly disgusted, and just writing about it right now I feel like throwing up at the idea of jerking off in front of a computer. Obviously, I didn’t tell her I was disgusted, and I understand my reaction is probably over the top and not normal, but that’s how I feel.

I am not sure how to proceed to get back to normal levels of interest in sex, any pointers?

TLDR: After a long dry spell, wife wants sex, but I’m simply not interested, and even somewhat disgusted. How to get the interest back?

We’ve been together for 13 years, married for 9. Have 2 kids. For various reasons, she never worked, and is now a stay at home mom. I work long stressful hours.

In the last 2 years, she grew progressively less interested in sex, to the point I’ve progressively stopped not even initiating, but even cuddling without any further intentions, because she could react badly at times, and accuse me of “forcing” her, when I was simply looking for some touch, without anything more. I figure she was stressed out being a mom, and made peace with the lack of sex, to the point I seriously don’t feel the need for it anymore. Last time we had sex was probably around a year ago.

Now, all of the sudden, in the last 2 or 3 months, she constantly talks about how horny she is, how much she needs, and I seriously feel objectified and disgusted (who would have thought!). I can’t even bring myself to cuddle with her, because, contrary to me, she is unable to respect boundaries, and will go for the crotch when I tell I am not interested.

I don’t understand where this sudden interest is coming from. Nothing has changed in our routine, I have remained at the same fitness level as before, literally nothing have changed, and her sudden need just grosses me out. Sometimes, I wonder if the lack of sex turned me into a prude, and I’m contributing to the problem. For example, a few months ago, I was travelling for work, and before I left, she was asking whether the company booked separate rooms for me and my coworker, because she wanted to do a “spicy zoom session” with me. I felt incredibly disgusted, and just writing about it right now I feel like throwing up at the idea of jerking off in front of a computer. Obviously, I didn’t tell her I was disgusted, and I understand my reaction is probably over the top and not normal, but that’s how I feel.

I am not sure how to proceed to get back to normal levels of interest in sex, any pointers?

TLDR: After a long dry spell, wife wants sex, but I’m simply not interested, and even somewhat disgusted. How to get the interest back?