Advice about problem with oral sex at home. /u/Aware-Environment122 Sex

So my wife and I are 37 yo, we got together at 22ish…we have a teen as well. So sex background, I’m very physically driven she’s more vanilla. Our problems started early on, I noticed she wouldn’t ever go down on me. Well I brought it up I told her that, that was something I wanted in a relationship.. her response “No girl likes giving head” she did tell me she didn’t like doing it. Looking back at it now as a 37yo I should’ve saw it for what it was and moved on; if that was very important to me. (I’m not leaving now over that)

So just like most things after fighting, things changed for a week or month then go back. I’ve talked to her about it, I feel like I’ve done it all.

Now here is where our current situation comes in.

If we had sex today: she will most likely want me to go down on her or rub her butt which turns into me doing light oral on her butt, which I completely love. On the flip side; if she does go down on me I can tell she doesn’t want too! For example the last time we had sex, she went down and licked it twice like it was a lollipop and that was it. My problem is, it’s getting to the point where it’s giving me a complex. “Does she think I’m dirty “ etc (yes I’ve told her this) but it’s also giving me anxiety when we do have sex that she’s going to try and it completely kills the mood for me! I know if I bring this up it will start a fight and she’ll tell me how she loves doing it.. idk how she does when the best way I can describe it is; you ever seen a kid try to eat vegetables! It’s really bothering me!

Thanks for any advice!

So my wife and I are 37 yo, we got together at 22ish…we have a teen as well. So sex background, I’m very physically driven she’s more vanilla. Our problems started early on, I noticed she wouldn’t ever go down on me. Well I brought it up I told her that, that was something I wanted in a relationship.. her response “No girl likes giving head” she did tell me she didn’t like doing it. Looking back at it now as a 37yo I should’ve saw it for what it was and moved on; if that was very important to me. (I’m not leaving now over that)

So just like most things after fighting, things changed for a week or month then go back. I’ve talked to her about it, I feel like I’ve done it all.

Now here is where our current situation comes in.

If we had sex today: she will most likely want me to go down on her or rub her butt which turns into me doing light oral on her butt, which I completely love. On the flip side; if she does go down on me I can tell she doesn’t want too! For example the last time we had sex, she went down and licked it twice like it was a lollipop and that was it. My problem is, it’s getting to the point where it’s giving me a complex. “Does she think I’m dirty “ etc (yes I’ve told her this) but it’s also giving me anxiety when we do have sex that she’s going to try and it completely kills the mood for me! I know if I bring this up it will start a fight and she’ll tell me how she loves doing it.. idk how she does when the best way I can describe it is; you ever seen a kid try to eat vegetables! It’s really bothering me!

Thanks for any advice!