weird sex experience /u/pr1nc3ss3mi3a Sex

i met a guy from my job a few weeks ago. he just moved from out of state and he told me he’s been back and forth between his hometown and where we were. i’ve seen him at my job a couple times, but the last time we talked and exchanged numbers, and we had been planing to meet up. we have texted and facetimed so we have had conversations. tonight we went to a bar to drink a little and play pool, and we were feeling each other. he invited me to his house which i agreed (also, before going out i was ok if we ended up having sex) we went to his place smoked a blunt, and started doing our thing, before sex sex i asked him if he had a condom and he said no, so i pushed him away, not hard but i put my hand up and he went back to eating me out. he then started to finger me and kept switching between his dck and his fingers as if i wouldn’t notice. i put my hand in front of him multiple times, and i said we needed a condom but at random times he would fck me and i didnt know what to do. the first time he did it was after i told him we needed a condom, i put my hand up so he would pull back and he did. i immediately felt so bad to myself if that makes sense not about myself, but why would i let that happen to myself? also he slapped me and i wasn’t sure how to feel about it. it wasn’t hard but i was already kind of anxious about the no condom and then he slapped me which i was like “ok do i like this do i not like this” i also thought it was weird because we literally vented to each other about abuse we both went throigh. my brain was going everywhere. he also would put it in and say “you said you wanted a condom right?” or something along those lines and i was “just there” half the time, i was kind of zoned out and i couldn’t really talk but homie was having the time of his life somehow. i guy i really liked gave me an std two years ago, so ever since then it’s kind of paranoid me. when i was younger no guy used a condom for some reason, but as i got older all of the past guys i’ve slept with wore protection so i felt really comfortable. there were no second thoughts, i didn’t freeze. at some point i literally said “i need to stop” and he said “ok” then he tried to put it back in and i literally said “im sorry i need to stop” and i got up and put my clothes on and i told him that it wasn’t him i just kind of freaked out because there was no condom. then he tried to say “well if you noticed at the beginning i was hesitant because i wanted one to” and i was like no you didn’t. then i blurted out i got an std from someone and he said “i get it past experiences. but im definitely not dirty” also he told me he was poly so i was even more like ok i dont know who you’ve been with like that. im just paranoid about stds. i went home took a shower and i usually dont care but i was just so freaked out and i feel so stupid because idk if it was valid or not or what. i just feel bad for whatever reason. i do realize my fault in this so i’m sorry…not that i need to apologize to reddit but fuuuuck im sorry.

i met a guy from my job a few weeks ago. he just moved from out of state and he told me he’s been back and forth between his hometown and where we were. i’ve seen him at my job a couple times, but the last time we talked and exchanged numbers, and we had been planing to meet up. we have texted and facetimed so we have had conversations. tonight we went to a bar to drink a little and play pool, and we were feeling each other. he invited me to his house which i agreed (also, before going out i was ok if we ended up having sex) we went to his place smoked a blunt, and started doing our thing, before sex sex i asked him if he had a condom and he said no, so i pushed him away, not hard but i put my hand up and he went back to eating me out. he then started to finger me and kept switching between his dck and his fingers as if i wouldn’t notice. i put my hand in front of him multiple times, and i said we needed a condom but at random times he would fck me and i didnt know what to do. the first time he did it was after i told him we needed a condom, i put my hand up so he would pull back and he did. i immediately felt so bad to myself if that makes sense not about myself, but why would i let that happen to myself? also he slapped me and i wasn’t sure how to feel about it. it wasn’t hard but i was already kind of anxious about the no condom and then he slapped me which i was like “ok do i like this do i not like this” i also thought it was weird because we literally vented to each other about abuse we both went throigh. my brain was going everywhere. he also would put it in and say “you said you wanted a condom right?” or something along those lines and i was “just there” half the time, i was kind of zoned out and i couldn’t really talk but homie was having the time of his life somehow. i guy i really liked gave me an std two years ago, so ever since then it’s kind of paranoid me. when i was younger no guy used a condom for some reason, but as i got older all of the past guys i’ve slept with wore protection so i felt really comfortable. there were no second thoughts, i didn’t freeze. at some point i literally said “i need to stop” and he said “ok” then he tried to put it back in and i literally said “im sorry i need to stop” and i got up and put my clothes on and i told him that it wasn’t him i just kind of freaked out because there was no condom. then he tried to say “well if you noticed at the beginning i was hesitant because i wanted one to” and i was like no you didn’t. then i blurted out i got an std from someone and he said “i get it past experiences. but im definitely not dirty” also he told me he was poly so i was even more like ok i dont know who you’ve been with like that. im just paranoid about stds. i went home took a shower and i usually dont care but i was just so freaked out and i feel so stupid because idk if it was valid or not or what. i just feel bad for whatever reason. i do realize my fault in this so i’m sorry…not that i need to apologize to reddit but fuuuuck im sorry.