Change in sexual interests… How to bring *intimacy* back into the bedroom? /u/Gold-Zone5399 Sex

Throwaway as my partner has my actual account. Sorry if this is kind of a ramble, I really needed to let it out it’s been causing me a lot of stress.

I (20F) have been with my partner (20M) for about 2 years (and we live together) and I’ve gotten myself into kind of a weird spot. This has been a long standing issue, we’ve always had a more experimental and aggressive sex life, at least 5 times a week and always doing something kinky, which has kind of led to me feeling silently neglected emotionally in the bedroom. Most importantly we’ve recently been doing a lot of light CNC and things like that. I brought this up and it was kind of an outlet for my own personal traumas but recently I’ve been going through a rough patch and the whole concept just seems off to me now. Considering my past I’ve started feeling gross about how he enjoys CNC with me, even though I’m the one who brought it up. I just don’t want to do it anymore. I don’t want to be choked or pinned down. At least not now. I just want something nicer

I started turning down doing the kinky stuff a month or so ago, and our sex life has kind of been a nightmare since. We’ve had sex maybe 4 or 5 times but it feels lifeless/boring and he hasn’t cum once or really seemed that into it. I don’t think *realistically* it has anything to do with me but it does hurt to some extent, especially since a lot of my general discomfort is about my changing appearance. He sort of tries to initiate but I think he’s gotten the wrong impression of what I typically would want in the bedroom after a few months of us really exploring more extreme kinks since we got the space to from moving in together. I’m sick of him just groping me and expecting that to go anywhere. Having sex used to make me feel better about my body and seemed validating but now I just can’t wait to get my clothes back on. So I’m basically just masturbating while he’s at work to deal with it and avoid having to confront it. I just wish having sex felt special or even romantic again.

How do I approach this topic with him? I’m absolutely horrible at serious conversations, or even just important conversations period. I just start crying lol. I probably should have had some form of this talk a while ago since he overall lacks sometimes but I’m not sure what to say without hurting his feelings or making it seem like he’s bad in bed since that has always been a big insecurity of his.

Throwaway as my partner has my actual account. Sorry if this is kind of a ramble, I really needed to let it out it’s been causing me a lot of stress.

I (20F) have been with my partner (20M) for about 2 years (and we live together) and I’ve gotten myself into kind of a weird spot. This has been a long standing issue, we’ve always had a more experimental and aggressive sex life, at least 5 times a week and always doing something kinky, which has kind of led to me feeling silently neglected emotionally in the bedroom. Most importantly we’ve recently been doing a lot of light CNC and things like that. I brought this up and it was kind of an outlet for my own personal traumas but recently I’ve been going through a rough patch and the whole concept just seems off to me now. Considering my past I’ve started feeling gross about how he enjoys CNC with me, even though I’m the one who brought it up. I just don’t want to do it anymore. I don’t want to be choked or pinned down. At least not now. I just want something nicer

I started turning down doing the kinky stuff a month or so ago, and our sex life has kind of been a nightmare since. We’ve had sex maybe 4 or 5 times but it feels lifeless/boring and he hasn’t cum once or really seemed that into it. I don’t think *realistically* it has anything to do with me but it does hurt to some extent, especially since a lot of my general discomfort is about my changing appearance. He sort of tries to initiate but I think he’s gotten the wrong impression of what I typically would want in the bedroom after a few months of us really exploring more extreme kinks since we got the space to from moving in together. I’m sick of him just groping me and expecting that to go anywhere. Having sex used to make me feel better about my body and seemed validating but now I just can’t wait to get my clothes back on. So I’m basically just masturbating while he’s at work to deal with it and avoid having to confront it. I just wish having sex felt special or even romantic again.

How do I approach this topic with him? I’m absolutely horrible at serious conversations, or even just important conversations period. I just start crying lol. I probably should have had some form of this talk a while ago since he overall lacks sometimes but I’m not sure what to say without hurting his feelings or making it seem like he’s bad in bed since that has always been a big insecurity of his.