Hello, so I am soon to be 19 female and I’m in my first serious relationship, it’s long distance. I was never sexually active only maybe some online photos or talks with my boyfriend, but it’s falling apart.
I am shy about all this and when I tried to be open and was struggling to communicate he was irritated and said things like: “I don’t know what you want”, “talk faster”, “stupid”, “I will go to sleep if you won’t tell me right now”. This conversation is still in my head and I don’t want to open up again. I try to make him feel nice on videocalls and give graphic stuff. He says he is satisfied and that’s great but after that I just feel empty. I wouldnt say used because it’s my fault for not telling him what to do but I just feel weird.
When I said we could do it through just talking without seeing eachother he didn’t really like it so I dropped it of course, but then when I do it as he likes he says he doesn’t want to unless I enjoy it. So I feel like my way is wrong for him and I need to learn it his way or there is no way.
I don’t think I will be able to have sex everyday as he wishes we will when we’ll be together. I don’t even feel comfortable talking about all this, asking for him to get better at talking (using sexy words and normal voice instead of using this weird “goblin-like” one) brings no improvement. When we will finally meet it’s only going to be worse because I will need to meet his conditions. I just feel like doing stuff solo works better for me than crying while struggling to tell him what I need with no result. It’s humiliating.
Maybe I’m selfish or something, but being raised with shame about my body or seen/used as sexual object by people as a kid also printed itself in my memory and talking and needing something sexual feels selfish and toxic.
I don’t know what to do. How can I improve our sexual life through videocalls before it falls apart completely right before we meet and start “real” things? Will I ever be able to enjoy it? Not stress?
Sorry for chaotic post, I’m not a daily English speaker
submitted by /u/33meowmeow33
[link] [comments]
r/sex Hello, so I am soon to be 19 female and I’m in my first serious relationship, it’s long distance. I was never sexually active only maybe some online photos or talks with my boyfriend, but it’s falling apart. I am shy about all this and when I tried to be open and was struggling to communicate he was irritated and said things like: “I don’t know what you want”, “talk faster”, “stupid”, “I will go to sleep if you won’t tell me right now”. This conversation is still in my head and I don’t want to open up again. I try to make him feel nice on videocalls and give graphic stuff. He says he is satisfied and that’s great but after that I just feel empty. I wouldnt say used because it’s my fault for not telling him what to do but I just feel weird. When I said we could do it through just talking without seeing eachother he didn’t really like it so I dropped it of course, but then when I do it as he likes he says he doesn’t want to unless I enjoy it. So I feel like my way is wrong for him and I need to learn it his way or there is no way. I don’t think I will be able to have sex everyday as he wishes we will when we’ll be together. I don’t even feel comfortable talking about all this, asking for him to get better at talking (using sexy words and normal voice instead of using this weird “goblin-like” one) brings no improvement. When we will finally meet it’s only going to be worse because I will need to meet his conditions. I just feel like doing stuff solo works better for me than crying while struggling to tell him what I need with no result. It’s humiliating. Maybe I’m selfish or something, but being raised with shame about my body or seen/used as sexual object by people as a kid also printed itself in my memory and talking and needing something sexual feels selfish and toxic. I don’t know what to do. How can I improve our sexual life through videocalls before it falls apart completely right before we meet and start “real” things? Will I ever be able to enjoy it? Not stress? Sorry for chaotic post, I’m not a daily English speaker submitted by /u/33meowmeow33 [link] [comments]
Hello, so I am soon to be 19 female and I’m in my first serious relationship, it’s long distance. I was never sexually active only maybe some online photos or talks with my boyfriend, but it’s falling apart.
I am shy about all this and when I tried to be open and was struggling to communicate he was irritated and said things like: “I don’t know what you want”, “talk faster”, “stupid”, “I will go to sleep if you won’t tell me right now”. This conversation is still in my head and I don’t want to open up again. I try to make him feel nice on videocalls and give graphic stuff. He says he is satisfied and that’s great but after that I just feel empty. I wouldnt say used because it’s my fault for not telling him what to do but I just feel weird.
When I said we could do it through just talking without seeing eachother he didn’t really like it so I dropped it of course, but then when I do it as he likes he says he doesn’t want to unless I enjoy it. So I feel like my way is wrong for him and I need to learn it his way or there is no way.
I don’t think I will be able to have sex everyday as he wishes we will when we’ll be together. I don’t even feel comfortable talking about all this, asking for him to get better at talking (using sexy words and normal voice instead of using this weird “goblin-like” one) brings no improvement. When we will finally meet it’s only going to be worse because I will need to meet his conditions. I just feel like doing stuff solo works better for me than crying while struggling to tell him what I need with no result. It’s humiliating.
Maybe I’m selfish or something, but being raised with shame about my body or seen/used as sexual object by people as a kid also printed itself in my memory and talking and needing something sexual feels selfish and toxic.
I don’t know what to do. How can I improve our sexual life through videocalls before it falls apart completely right before we meet and start “real” things? Will I ever be able to enjoy it? Not stress?
Sorry for chaotic post, I’m not a daily English speaker
submitted by /u/33meowmeow33
[link] [comments]