Should I get my husband a fleshlight, or will it only make his DGS worse? /u/ththrowrowawayway Sex

We’re both in our 40s, together for ~6 years. We have great sexual chemistry – he’s kind, thoughtful and attentive to my needs.

The problem is, his sex drive is drastically higher than mine, to the point where he can’t go to sleep without having an orgasm, even if he’s had one earlier in the day. And I love having sex with him, but some days I’m just too exhausted, not feeling well, or my cervix is still sore from the mind-blowing sex we had 2 nights before so it’s really hard for me to keep up with his needs.

The fact that he has death grip syndrome doesn’t help either. I can’t get him off using my mouth or my hands, and even with PIV it’s extremely difficult for him to come.

So every night he puts on light porn on his phone and masturbates in bed before we go to sleep. Sometimes I join him and we have sex, sometimes I help out by kissing him or licking his balls, sometimes I just kiss him goodnight and go to sleep while he plays with himself.

I’ve suggested going a few days without porn so he can recoup his sensitivity, but he said I would have to “fill in the gap” by helping him reach climax every time. But not only do I not have the mental/physical capacity to be a sex goddess every single night, some days I also don’t feel like performing an act for the 20-30 minutes he takes to reach an orgasm.

(Does this make me feel inadequate? A little. Does it mean I end up having less sex than I want to, because lazy sex or a quickie isn’t a possibility? Certainly, but that’s not what’s at stake here.)

So I’ve been considering giving him a fleshlight to, idk, help him reach orgasm a little faster? Feel like I’m doing something for him? The reasons aren’t clear. But I worry about it making his DGS worse. For those of you who have some experience with it, what advice would you have for me?

We’re both in our 40s, together for ~6 years. We have great sexual chemistry – he’s kind, thoughtful and attentive to my needs.

The problem is, his sex drive is drastically higher than mine, to the point where he can’t go to sleep without having an orgasm, even if he’s had one earlier in the day. And I love having sex with him, but some days I’m just too exhausted, not feeling well, or my cervix is still sore from the mind-blowing sex we had 2 nights before so it’s really hard for me to keep up with his needs.

The fact that he has death grip syndrome doesn’t help either. I can’t get him off using my mouth or my hands, and even with PIV it’s extremely difficult for him to come.

So every night he puts on light porn on his phone and masturbates in bed before we go to sleep. Sometimes I join him and we have sex, sometimes I help out by kissing him or licking his balls, sometimes I just kiss him goodnight and go to sleep while he plays with himself.

I’ve suggested going a few days without porn so he can recoup his sensitivity, but he said I would have to “fill in the gap” by helping him reach climax every time. But not only do I not have the mental/physical capacity to be a sex goddess every single night, some days I also don’t feel like performing an act for the 20-30 minutes he takes to reach an orgasm.

(Does this make me feel inadequate? A little. Does it mean I end up having less sex than I want to, because lazy sex or a quickie isn’t a possibility? Certainly, but that’s not what’s at stake here.)

So I’ve been considering giving him a fleshlight to, idk, help him reach orgasm a little faster? Feel like I’m doing something for him? The reasons aren’t clear. But I worry about it making his DGS worse. For those of you who have some experience with it, what advice would you have for me?