Husband sometimes doesn’t stop during sexual activity when I ask him to /u/EmmaApple6274 Sex

We have been married for 14 years. I’m 33 he’s 35. We have two kids together. He’s for the most part a very good man and father. He’d do anything for us. I honestly couldn’t imagine someone treating their spouse better than he treats me most of the time.

Occasionally, when I have asked him to stop during sexual activity he doesn’t. I have to ask multiple times and get loud before he does. It only happens maybe once a year, so most of the time he does listen. It happened again recently, and I’m having a really hard time getting past it. I don’t want him to touch me, and I hate it. I guess I’m just wondering whether I’m being dramatic or not. I don’t want to talk to friends or family, because it’s embarrassing. I also don’t want them to look at him differently. I’ll give more details below.

He used to grope me “in his sleep”. I’d wake up with his hands down my pants, and I’d tell him to stop. I finally told him that if it didn’t stop I’d be sleeping in another room. He never did it again, which tells me he probably wasn’t really sleeping when doing it.

There was one thing recently that I told him not to do during sex, because I didn’t like it. He continued to do it each time. This resulted in me having to remind him each time that I didn’t like it. I finally told him that it makes my skin crawl, and if he does it again we won’t be having sex. He stopped after that. This is not the first time this type of situation has occured.

He used to become very angry and cold towards me if I’d turn him down. We have sex 2 to 3 times a week. Maybe once a week if I’m very stressed or sick. He has gotten a bit better about this since I broke down and cried in front of him.

Now the worst one that happens about once a year. He’ll go to do something during sex and I’ll say no. He will continue to try and do it over and over. Or he’ll just go for it and do it until I say stop multiple times. Or I’ll let him do something for a while, but then once I’ve had enough I’ll tell him to stop and he won’t listen. With both of these situations I have to say stop multiple times and get loud for him to eventually stop.

He does apologize, and he says he didn’t hear me say stop the first couple of times, which I think is complete BS. I did get him to admit a few years back that he keeps doing it in the hopes that I’ll realize I actually like it. He always says it won’t happen again, but eventually it does.

All of this has built up to make me extremely resentful. It happened again a few days ago, and I just can’t get past it. He’s also a very defensive person, so whenever I have something bothering me he takes it as a personal attack and flips it on me trying to blame me. This also happend again a few days before the sex incident, so I think that it’s adding to my feelings of resentment. I just don’t know what to do. I’m honestly wondering if this is not as big of a deal as I’m making it. Just hoping for a perspective outside of my own.

We have been married for 14 years. I’m 33 he’s 35. We have two kids together. He’s for the most part a very good man and father. He’d do anything for us. I honestly couldn’t imagine someone treating their spouse better than he treats me most of the time.

Occasionally, when I have asked him to stop during sexual activity he doesn’t. I have to ask multiple times and get loud before he does. It only happens maybe once a year, so most of the time he does listen. It happened again recently, and I’m having a really hard time getting past it. I don’t want him to touch me, and I hate it. I guess I’m just wondering whether I’m being dramatic or not. I don’t want to talk to friends or family, because it’s embarrassing. I also don’t want them to look at him differently. I’ll give more details below.

He used to grope me “in his sleep”. I’d wake up with his hands down my pants, and I’d tell him to stop. I finally told him that if it didn’t stop I’d be sleeping in another room. He never did it again, which tells me he probably wasn’t really sleeping when doing it.

There was one thing recently that I told him not to do during sex, because I didn’t like it. He continued to do it each time. This resulted in me having to remind him each time that I didn’t like it. I finally told him that it makes my skin crawl, and if he does it again we won’t be having sex. He stopped after that. This is not the first time this type of situation has occured.

He used to become very angry and cold towards me if I’d turn him down. We have sex 2 to 3 times a week. Maybe once a week if I’m very stressed or sick. He has gotten a bit better about this since I broke down and cried in front of him.

Now the worst one that happens about once a year. He’ll go to do something during sex and I’ll say no. He will continue to try and do it over and over. Or he’ll just go for it and do it until I say stop multiple times. Or I’ll let him do something for a while, but then once I’ve had enough I’ll tell him to stop and he won’t listen. With both of these situations I have to say stop multiple times and get loud for him to eventually stop.

He does apologize, and he says he didn’t hear me say stop the first couple of times, which I think is complete BS. I did get him to admit a few years back that he keeps doing it in the hopes that I’ll realize I actually like it. He always says it won’t happen again, but eventually it does.

All of this has built up to make me extremely resentful. It happened again a few days ago, and I just can’t get past it. He’s also a very defensive person, so whenever I have something bothering me he takes it as a personal attack and flips it on me trying to blame me. This also happend again a few days before the sex incident, so I think that it’s adding to my feelings of resentment. I just don’t know what to do. I’m honestly wondering if this is not as big of a deal as I’m making it. Just hoping for a perspective outside of my own.