Hi all, this is as much as a rant/vent as a question for advice,
So I (+/-30M) cum quickly during intercourse. I’m not sure if I clinically qualify for having premature ejaculation but it’s close. It makes sex not very satisfying for me because there is little physical build-up. It’s just not fulfilling. I’m a pleaser and I love getting my gf off for as long and good as I can. My gf on the other hand is very passive in bed and is a bit sexually clueless. These things combined have resulted in me taking care of everything sexual in our relationship and almost every sexual interaction being overwhelmingly focussed on her. Let’s just say that the orgasm gap is very real but not in the traditional sense.
One way for me to enjoy sex more is going for multiple rounds. Problem is, my gf is very (very) rarely up for that. I really try to set the right mood, make her sufficiently turned on, make sure we have something to do between rounds, etc. but she always starts complaining that she is tired or sore or something similar after the first round. We tried doing it during day time and in the evening but she never follows trough. I fear her libido is just not high enough for it.
I have started to masturbate before we have sex but I absolutely hate it. It is often not practically possible and it interferes with my stamina training. We also tried getting me off before I focus on her but I often can’t cum in such a short time after and I barely feel anything. She seems wary of exploring this further. I think she just doesn’t like longer sessions. She occasionally gets me off an hour or two before we have sex, which works pretty well. I often ask her for it in advance but she rarely does. I just really can’t understand why because she knows it makes sex more pleasurable for me. I have asked her many times if PIV is pleasurable for her and she says it is and that she enjoys it when I last longer (even though she is fine with me cumming quickly also). I haven’t been able to get her to tell me why she doesn’t do it more often.
I know the usual advice is accept it or leave but that’s not what I’m looking for. I know the solution is communication. I try to talk about it with her but it is difficult. She never initiates talking about sex so it is always me who brings it up. She gets defensive and I feel like I’m pressuring her. In her ideal world everything just happens without talking about it, which is understandable because she is perfectly happy with the way things are now.
I’m not looking for advice on increasing my stamina. Believe me, I have read a ton about it here and elsewere. My questions are:
– Does anyone have experience with a similar situation or advice in general?
– Is it uncommon to want to have a session (everything included) of more than lets say 40 minutes?
– Is going multiple rounds really such a demanding thing for women? I feel like I see a lot of women here praising guys who want to focus on them and go for multiple rounds but perhaps that is not representative.
(I know these last two questions don’t matter to my situation because everyone is different but I’m just curious)
submitted by /u/dingenzo
[link] [comments]
r/sex Hi all, this is as much as a rant/vent as a question for advice, So I (+/-30M) cum quickly during intercourse. I’m not sure if I clinically qualify for having premature ejaculation but it’s close. It makes sex not very satisfying for me because there is little physical build-up. It’s just not fulfilling. I’m a pleaser and I love getting my gf off for as long and good as I can. My gf on the other hand is very passive in bed and is a bit sexually clueless. These things combined have resulted in me taking care of everything sexual in our relationship and almost every sexual interaction being overwhelmingly focussed on her. Let’s just say that the orgasm gap is very real but not in the traditional sense. One way for me to enjoy sex more is going for multiple rounds. Problem is, my gf is very (very) rarely up for that. I really try to set the right mood, make her sufficiently turned on, make sure we have something to do between rounds, etc. but she always starts complaining that she is tired or sore or something similar after the first round. We tried doing it during day time and in the evening but she never follows trough. I fear her libido is just not high enough for it. I have started to masturbate before we have sex but I absolutely hate it. It is often not practically possible and it interferes with my stamina training. We also tried getting me off before I focus on her but I often can’t cum in such a short time after and I barely feel anything. She seems wary of exploring this further. I think she just doesn’t like longer sessions. She occasionally gets me off an hour or two before we have sex, which works pretty well. I often ask her for it in advance but she rarely does. I just really can’t understand why because she knows it makes sex more pleasurable for me. I have asked her many times if PIV is pleasurable for her and she says it is and that she enjoys it when I last longer (even though she is fine with me cumming quickly also). I haven’t been able to get her to tell me why she doesn’t do it more often. I know the usual advice is accept it or leave but that’s not what I’m looking for. I know the solution is communication. I try to talk about it with her but it is difficult. She never initiates talking about sex so it is always me who brings it up. She gets defensive and I feel like I’m pressuring her. In her ideal world everything just happens without talking about it, which is understandable because she is perfectly happy with the way things are now. I’m not looking for advice on increasing my stamina. Believe me, I have read a ton about it here and elsewere. My questions are: – Does anyone have experience with a similar situation or advice in general? – Is it uncommon to want to have a session (everything included) of more than lets say 40 minutes? – Is going multiple rounds really such a demanding thing for women? I feel like I see a lot of women here praising guys who want to focus on them and go for multiple rounds but perhaps that is not representative. (I know these last two questions don’t matter to my situation because everyone is different but I’m just curious) submitted by /u/dingenzo [link] [comments]
Hi all, this is as much as a rant/vent as a question for advice,
So I (+/-30M) cum quickly during intercourse. I’m not sure if I clinically qualify for having premature ejaculation but it’s close. It makes sex not very satisfying for me because there is little physical build-up. It’s just not fulfilling. I’m a pleaser and I love getting my gf off for as long and good as I can. My gf on the other hand is very passive in bed and is a bit sexually clueless. These things combined have resulted in me taking care of everything sexual in our relationship and almost every sexual interaction being overwhelmingly focussed on her. Let’s just say that the orgasm gap is very real but not in the traditional sense.
One way for me to enjoy sex more is going for multiple rounds. Problem is, my gf is very (very) rarely up for that. I really try to set the right mood, make her sufficiently turned on, make sure we have something to do between rounds, etc. but she always starts complaining that she is tired or sore or something similar after the first round. We tried doing it during day time and in the evening but she never follows trough. I fear her libido is just not high enough for it.
I have started to masturbate before we have sex but I absolutely hate it. It is often not practically possible and it interferes with my stamina training. We also tried getting me off before I focus on her but I often can’t cum in such a short time after and I barely feel anything. She seems wary of exploring this further. I think she just doesn’t like longer sessions. She occasionally gets me off an hour or two before we have sex, which works pretty well. I often ask her for it in advance but she rarely does. I just really can’t understand why because she knows it makes sex more pleasurable for me. I have asked her many times if PIV is pleasurable for her and she says it is and that she enjoys it when I last longer (even though she is fine with me cumming quickly also). I haven’t been able to get her to tell me why she doesn’t do it more often.
I know the usual advice is accept it or leave but that’s not what I’m looking for. I know the solution is communication. I try to talk about it with her but it is difficult. She never initiates talking about sex so it is always me who brings it up. She gets defensive and I feel like I’m pressuring her. In her ideal world everything just happens without talking about it, which is understandable because she is perfectly happy with the way things are now.
I’m not looking for advice on increasing my stamina. Believe me, I have read a ton about it here and elsewere. My questions are:
– Does anyone have experience with a similar situation or advice in general?
– Is it uncommon to want to have a session (everything included) of more than lets say 40 minutes?
– Is going multiple rounds really such a demanding thing for women? I feel like I see a lot of women here praising guys who want to focus on them and go for multiple rounds but perhaps that is not representative.
(I know these last two questions don’t matter to my situation because everyone is different but I’m just curious)
submitted by /u/dingenzo
[link] [comments]