Low sex drive with my partner but I still masturbate 3-5 times a week. Will this change? /u/throwaway_000213 Sex

Hey guys,

I’m in a relationship with my partner for just under two years. I’m 24 and he’s 29. Lately we haven’t been having sex and I’ll take the blame. I have like no sex drive when it comes to having sex with him but I still masturbate on my own. I’ll do it a few times a week. The thing is I want to have sex but when the opportunity presents itself, I have no interest.

Now I have some ideas of things that may be impacting my sex drive. The first being sex is pretty bad for me, little to no foreplay (5 mins max if even that) and he’s never gone down on me. I’ve never finished with him before. The second reason being I have depression and am on meds for it which could be affecting my drive. The third being that I was sexually assaulted a lot in my last relationship and have a weird relationship with sex and it affects my drive a lot.

I have talked to him about making foreplay longer and focusing on me a little more as I need it but it hasn’t really gone anywhere. I think that’s causing me to withdraw from sex and just have no interest in it. I just prefer to get off on my own since I actually orgasm and get something from it. I know sex isn’t about orgasming but it sucks that I haven’t gotten to experience that with him and it’s just because lack of trying.

Can I turn this around and gain my sex drive back?

Hey guys,

I’m in a relationship with my partner for just under two years. I’m 24 and he’s 29. Lately we haven’t been having sex and I’ll take the blame. I have like no sex drive when it comes to having sex with him but I still masturbate on my own. I’ll do it a few times a week. The thing is I want to have sex but when the opportunity presents itself, I have no interest.

Now I have some ideas of things that may be impacting my sex drive. The first being sex is pretty bad for me, little to no foreplay (5 mins max if even that) and he’s never gone down on me. I’ve never finished with him before. The second reason being I have depression and am on meds for it which could be affecting my drive. The third being that I was sexually assaulted a lot in my last relationship and have a weird relationship with sex and it affects my drive a lot.

I have talked to him about making foreplay longer and focusing on me a little more as I need it but it hasn’t really gone anywhere. I think that’s causing me to withdraw from sex and just have no interest in it. I just prefer to get off on my own since I actually orgasm and get something from it. I know sex isn’t about orgasming but it sucks that I haven’t gotten to experience that with him and it’s just because lack of trying.

Can I turn this around and gain my sex drive back?