Why do people default to asking someone about work and family when making small talk with strangers, despite the fact that those are like the top two things someone might find really unpleasant to discuss for one reason or another? /u/iciclefites No such thing as stupid questions

don’t get me wrong these are fine things to discuss, but they seem like the kinds of things someone will bring up organically if they want to talk about them. I try not to do that with people I don’t know well because I personally find it kinda awkward and invasive, and for all I know they’re going to be like “funny you should ask, I just got laid off and my parents died in a car accident.”

am I the weird one for finding that weird? I get the utility of having “default topics” to fall back on, but why not pick something where you don’t risk souring the conversation from word one

edit: it’s goofy seeing so many people be like “oh, you don’t enjoy either of the two acceptable conversation topics? you must be boring and suck!” like OK sure, I concede that if we met we wouldn’t have a very good conversation

edit edit: I forgot to add “…and I bet you have experienced trauma in your life and need therapy!” is that supposed to be a burn or something, or is this just how you talk to people

don’t get me wrong these are fine things to discuss, but they seem like the kinds of things someone will bring up organically if they want to talk about them. I try not to do that with people I don’t know well because I personally find it kinda awkward and invasive, and for all I know they’re going to be like “funny you should ask, I just got laid off and my parents died in a car accident.”

am I the weird one for finding that weird? I get the utility of having “default topics” to fall back on, but why not pick something where you don’t risk souring the conversation from word one

edit: it’s goofy seeing so many people be like “oh, you don’t enjoy either of the two acceptable conversation topics? you must be boring and suck!” like OK sure, I concede that if we met we wouldn’t have a very good conversation

edit edit: I forgot to add “…and I bet you have experienced trauma in your life and need therapy!” is that supposed to be a burn or something, or is this just how you talk to people