Is our DM too controlling? /u/hensheng DnD: Roll for Initiative!

Hello! We basically just want to know if the things I’m going to list off below are normal for you guys as well.

We have a bunch of Files our DM made that we need to keep updated. A spell list which seemed plausible to me at first! I personally don’t keep my spells secret and don’t see a reason to until our DM became adamant about it and uses that knowledge against us in enemy encounters. It seems like meta gaming which we all try to avoid.

An item List, yet again seemed plausible to me. The DM roughly knows what we own anyways since he places all the dungeon items, plays every shopkeeper and so on. At first it felt like he just wanted to keep track of our weight limit, but after a thief stole only the most important items we owned (the DM said he rolled the day before the session for the items and it was pure luck that he landed on the single most important things to every character storyline/combat wise, despite having so many other items), we’ve grown uncomfortable with the lists.

His new addition to the item list includes our money. Which, yet again, seems like he just wants to know who the richest character is to steal from.

It feels like he wants us to keep them updated so he can use all of it against us in a metagaming kind of way. And before someone says that it keeps things interesting, I’d agree normally but not when it delays our main quest to the point of punishment.

Another thing is, despite him saying in a passive aggressive manner that we need to pay attention to our own slots, he created a spell slot/bardic inspiration/sorcery point/lucky feat-system for each of his players (basically for everything that has limits). We’ve never cheated on these things and keep track of it ourselves. He keeps them for himself to see how often we use certain things and therefore can play his encounters accordingly with that knowledge.

I also had an experience where i had a really good day for D20 rolls (i roll openly) and he became suspicious of the dice I’ve been using for a year, the same ones that had bad roll days and he himself gifted me. He was muttering about weighted dice and gifted me new ones for christmas. I understood his untold command and have been using the new ones since, despite missing my former dice.

There are many more things like him changing systems we’ve agreed upon before because he found out that the actual rule book does it differently and only telling us in the middle of the session.

A former colleague told us they even give copies of their sheets to their DM and I wouldn’t be opposed to that if it weren’t for the giant target on our backs when we do so. Our DM is a very competitive person in general, is bad at loosing and really doesn’t take criticism well, which is why I’m turning to Reddit to ask if some of these things are normal and we’re just overreacting or if we’re justified in our discomfort.

Thank you for reading this wall of text!

Hello! We basically just want to know if the things I’m going to list off below are normal for you guys as well.

We have a bunch of Files our DM made that we need to keep updated. A spell list which seemed plausible to me at first! I personally don’t keep my spells secret and don’t see a reason to until our DM became adamant about it and uses that knowledge against us in enemy encounters. It seems like meta gaming which we all try to avoid.

An item List, yet again seemed plausible to me. The DM roughly knows what we own anyways since he places all the dungeon items, plays every shopkeeper and so on. At first it felt like he just wanted to keep track of our weight limit, but after a thief stole only the most important items we owned (the DM said he rolled the day before the session for the items and it was pure luck that he landed on the single most important things to every character storyline/combat wise, despite having so many other items), we’ve grown uncomfortable with the lists.

His new addition to the item list includes our money. Which, yet again, seems like he just wants to know who the richest character is to steal from.

It feels like he wants us to keep them updated so he can use all of it against us in a metagaming kind of way. And before someone says that it keeps things interesting, I’d agree normally but not when it delays our main quest to the point of punishment.

Another thing is, despite him saying in a passive aggressive manner that we need to pay attention to our own slots, he created a spell slot/bardic inspiration/sorcery point/lucky feat-system for each of his players (basically for everything that has limits). We’ve never cheated on these things and keep track of it ourselves. He keeps them for himself to see how often we use certain things and therefore can play his encounters accordingly with that knowledge.

I also had an experience where i had a really good day for D20 rolls (i roll openly) and he became suspicious of the dice I’ve been using for a year, the same ones that had bad roll days and he himself gifted me. He was muttering about weighted dice and gifted me new ones for christmas. I understood his untold command and have been using the new ones since, despite missing my former dice.

There are many more things like him changing systems we’ve agreed upon before because he found out that the actual rule book does it differently and only telling us in the middle of the session.

A former colleague told us they even give copies of their sheets to their DM and I wouldn’t be opposed to that if it weren’t for the giant target on our backs when we do so. Our DM is a very competitive person in general, is bad at loosing and really doesn’t take criticism well, which is why I’m turning to Reddit to ask if some of these things are normal and we’re just overreacting or if we’re justified in our discomfort.

Thank you for reading this wall of text!