Tired of my bisexuality /u/Wild-Butterscotch874 Sex

I’m tired. I fantasize about breasts, I fantasize about cocks. I’m constantly wondering who I am, what my “real” orientation is, if my attraction to women and my wife is just a cover for fear of enjoying anal sex with men because that is my true desire, and testing how attracted I am to someone by imaging sex with everyone I come into contact with.

I see a therapist, I’ve talked with my wife, I’ve joined a support group for bisexuals, and I work on accepting and affirming my sexuality. I feel confident that I am sincerely attracted to women because I’ve thought about them everyday since before puberty, I fall in love (lust) with women on a consistent basis and I can’t imagine not being aroused by their bodies, curves, smells, sounds, and manners. I’m confident I have an attraction to men because I find myself fantasizing about giving head and receiving anal. I also have some causal cross-dressing thoughts and I find anal stimulation so fulfilling and satisfying.

I’m married to my wife and we have two kids but I’m terrified that my true purpose is to live a life of taking it up the ass. That sounds ridiculous but these are the thoughts racing around in my head.

My therapist diagnosed me with OCD and I’m on Lexapro, I have ADHD, and I’m just tired of all the ambivalence and uncertainty that comes with my sexuality.

I’m tired. I fantasize about breasts, I fantasize about cocks. I’m constantly wondering who I am, what my “real” orientation is, if my attraction to women and my wife is just a cover for fear of enjoying anal sex with men because that is my true desire, and testing how attracted I am to someone by imaging sex with everyone I come into contact with.

I see a therapist, I’ve talked with my wife, I’ve joined a support group for bisexuals, and I work on accepting and affirming my sexuality. I feel confident that I am sincerely attracted to women because I’ve thought about them everyday since before puberty, I fall in love (lust) with women on a consistent basis and I can’t imagine not being aroused by their bodies, curves, smells, sounds, and manners. I’m confident I have an attraction to men because I find myself fantasizing about giving head and receiving anal. I also have some causal cross-dressing thoughts and I find anal stimulation so fulfilling and satisfying.

I’m married to my wife and we have two kids but I’m terrified that my true purpose is to live a life of taking it up the ass. That sounds ridiculous but these are the thoughts racing around in my head.

My therapist diagnosed me with OCD and I’m on Lexapro, I have ADHD, and I’m just tired of all the ambivalence and uncertainty that comes with my sexuality.