Want to start off with saying I’m grateful he does so much for me, especially knowing guys in the past didn’t. The problem more-so lies in the nitty gritty parts.
We’ve been together for a couple months, and throughout our relationship he’s made me the focus of the sex. I very much appreciated this at first, he really took the time to figure me out. He would often come over, give me oral or finger me and do nothing for himself.
Before now, I assumed his way of getting pleasure was from giving it. But as we communicated more and more, he informed me that his sexual desire + orgasms aren’t that strong, and he can control when he cums (he basically times it). He uses it as only release, and getting me off is just to make me happy.
However, I’m very submissive, and one of the things I absolutely need to orgasm is to vocally (and visually) know that my partner is recieving pleasure. I told him this, and he said that he’d be pretending to feel/express pleasure just to get me off, which doesn’t feel right. He says he still enjoys sex, but I want more than that.
While I’m glad he communicated this to me, I can’t cum as easily knowing he’s not feeling intense lust and craving for sex with me. I want real desire and it turns me off knowing that he doesn’t feel all that much and that when he cums is controllable by him.
I also feel like his interest and desire in sex for me has gone down over the past couple months (Which I know is expected after getting comfortable in a relationship, but is there anything I can do to mend this?). He also doesn’t always cum during sex, and can easily fall asleep after making me cum, which does sometimes make me upset.
For context, he does masturbate to porn, not sure how often, but i’m pretty sure it’s daily.
Extra note: I absolutely have initiated things that are centred around his pleasure, but he isn’t as ‘reactive’ as I want him to be, and usually takes really long to cum. He also often switches hes it to me-centred sex again.
TL;DR: Bf doesn’t feel much sexual desire and has no interest in pleasing himself, which is a problem bc that’s what gets me going. As well, he seems to be less interested in sex with me than before.
Are we just incompatible or is this fixable?
submitted by /u/softasyourpillow
[link] [comments]
r/sex Want to start off with saying I’m grateful he does so much for me, especially knowing guys in the past didn’t. The problem more-so lies in the nitty gritty parts. We’ve been together for a couple months, and throughout our relationship he’s made me the focus of the sex. I very much appreciated this at first, he really took the time to figure me out. He would often come over, give me oral or finger me and do nothing for himself. Before now, I assumed his way of getting pleasure was from giving it. But as we communicated more and more, he informed me that his sexual desire + orgasms aren’t that strong, and he can control when he cums (he basically times it). He uses it as only release, and getting me off is just to make me happy. However, I’m very submissive, and one of the things I absolutely need to orgasm is to vocally (and visually) know that my partner is recieving pleasure. I told him this, and he said that he’d be pretending to feel/express pleasure just to get me off, which doesn’t feel right. He says he still enjoys sex, but I want more than that. While I’m glad he communicated this to me, I can’t cum as easily knowing he’s not feeling intense lust and craving for sex with me. I want real desire and it turns me off knowing that he doesn’t feel all that much and that when he cums is controllable by him. I also feel like his interest and desire in sex for me has gone down over the past couple months (Which I know is expected after getting comfortable in a relationship, but is there anything I can do to mend this?). He also doesn’t always cum during sex, and can easily fall asleep after making me cum, which does sometimes make me upset. For context, he does masturbate to porn, not sure how often, but i’m pretty sure it’s daily. Extra note: I absolutely have initiated things that are centred around his pleasure, but he isn’t as ‘reactive’ as I want him to be, and usually takes really long to cum. He also often switches hes it to me-centred sex again. TL;DR: Bf doesn’t feel much sexual desire and has no interest in pleasing himself, which is a problem bc that’s what gets me going. As well, he seems to be less interested in sex with me than before. Are we just incompatible or is this fixable? submitted by /u/softasyourpillow [link] [comments]
Want to start off with saying I’m grateful he does so much for me, especially knowing guys in the past didn’t. The problem more-so lies in the nitty gritty parts.
We’ve been together for a couple months, and throughout our relationship he’s made me the focus of the sex. I very much appreciated this at first, he really took the time to figure me out. He would often come over, give me oral or finger me and do nothing for himself.
Before now, I assumed his way of getting pleasure was from giving it. But as we communicated more and more, he informed me that his sexual desire + orgasms aren’t that strong, and he can control when he cums (he basically times it). He uses it as only release, and getting me off is just to make me happy.
However, I’m very submissive, and one of the things I absolutely need to orgasm is to vocally (and visually) know that my partner is recieving pleasure. I told him this, and he said that he’d be pretending to feel/express pleasure just to get me off, which doesn’t feel right. He says he still enjoys sex, but I want more than that.
While I’m glad he communicated this to me, I can’t cum as easily knowing he’s not feeling intense lust and craving for sex with me. I want real desire and it turns me off knowing that he doesn’t feel all that much and that when he cums is controllable by him.
I also feel like his interest and desire in sex for me has gone down over the past couple months (Which I know is expected after getting comfortable in a relationship, but is there anything I can do to mend this?). He also doesn’t always cum during sex, and can easily fall asleep after making me cum, which does sometimes make me upset.
For context, he does masturbate to porn, not sure how often, but i’m pretty sure it’s daily.
Extra note: I absolutely have initiated things that are centred around his pleasure, but he isn’t as ‘reactive’ as I want him to be, and usually takes really long to cum. He also often switches hes it to me-centred sex again.
TL;DR: Bf doesn’t feel much sexual desire and has no interest in pleasing himself, which is a problem bc that’s what gets me going. As well, he seems to be less interested in sex with me than before.
Are we just incompatible or is this fixable?
submitted by /u/softasyourpillow
[link] [comments]