submitted by /u/cibby_pwdr
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​r/sex Hey everyone, I’m here looking for advice about my girlfriend’s struggles with orgasms and her complicated feelings toward masturbation. We’ve talked a lot about it, so I’ll try to explain everything as clearly as I can: The Situation Hard to orgasm during sex: It takes her a long time to get close to orgasm, and she needs very specific techniques/positions to even have a chance. Even then, it’s rare, and if anything changes (even slightly), it’s like her progress resets entirely. Rare orgasms in general: I’m the first of her six sexual partners to make her orgasm (the first time was about 7 months ago). Since then, it happens every 2-4 weeks during sex, but not more often despite trying different things (positions, bondage, kinks, oral, fingering, etc.). Masturbation guilt: She almost never masturbates because it doesn’t feel that good to her. She only enjoys pillow humping but feels guilty or bad after orgasming during masturbation, so she does it maybe every few months. This isn’t related to cultural, societal, or personal beliefs—it’s just how her body reacts. Libido and openness: Her libido is normal when we’re together (she gets horny every 1-4 days just by herself, sometimes multiple times a day, and every time i do something that turns her on), and she enjoys sex with me a lot. She’s very open about desires and boundaries, and we’ve tried a lot of new things together. What We’ve Tried Communication: We’ve talked openly about her feelings, what she enjoys, and any worries. She doesn’t feel pressured to orgasm and says she enjoys our sex even when she doesn’t cum. Variety: We’ve explored kinks, positions, and techniques. Oral combined with fingering worked once when we were on vacation last summer, but usually, only three very specific techniques work—and even then, not consistently. Foreplay and duration: Neither seems to influence her ability to orgasm. Reassurance: She feels supported and says orgasm isn’t a big deal for her, but she does sometimes express (directly or indirectly) that she wishes she could orgasm more often. The Struggles She describes some days as “good days to orgasm,” but this isn’t predictable or something we can rely on, a few weeks ago for example she told me after orgasm (which took only 5 minutes for her to reach) that when she was on her way to work she thought to herself “hmmmm.. today feels like a good day to orgasm” Her orgasms are inconsistent and feel almost “fragile”—it’s like everything has to align perfectly. Her feelings after masturbation confuse her. She can’t explain why she feels bad/guilty and hasn’t found a way to overcome it, nor does it seem as if she wanted to, which I understand and absolutely don’t want to force her to I suspect her lack of regular masturbation might be contributing. Maybe if she orgasmed more often, she’d feel more in tune with her body or know how to anticipate orgasms better? My Feelings I’m 100% a “service guy.” Pleasing her is my biggest turn-on and the hottest thing to me is seeing and especially making someone orgasm, so it’s a bit frustrating when I can’t make her orgasm as often as I’d like. It’s not about my ego—I just want her (and therefore also me) to experience more pleasure due to our sex often feeling incomplete to me. She reassures me that it’s not a big deal, but I think she wishes it happened more often, I definitely do so. Questions What could be causing her rare orgasms and feelings of guilt after masturbation? How can I help her feel more comfortable exploring her body or reaching orgasm more often? Are there specific strategies or techniques we should try? Thanks for reading this far! I’d really appreciate any insights, personal experiences, or advice you have to share. submitted by /u/cibby_pwdr [link] [comments] 

submitted by /u/cibby_pwdr
[link] [comments]