Why do I not always like the feeling of having my clit stimulated? /u/crypteak Sex

So, I am F21 and I really don’t know if I have ever experienced a real orgasm.

I never touch myself, and when I have done it in the past, I don’t really get anywhere with it and just end up losing the horniness.

I am currently in a relationship with my boyfriend M22, and he is truly wonderful. He is a wonderful life partner and loves pleasing me in bed.
He is obsessed with eating me out, really loves playing with my clit, and is really good at what he does to me in bed. I feel as though he has possibly made me orgasm at least once with his penis while it was rubbing a certain spot inside of me, but every time he touches my clit and stimulates it… I just don’t know how to feel…
It’s hard to explain, but the feeling I get from it almost feels too much. I really do get a crazy feeling down there, and it can feel good in spurts, but it makes me twitch/squirm and almost gets to the point of uncomfortableness inside myself to where I sometimes just pretend to orgasm so that the feeling can stop. I feel the urge to close my legs and not just enjoy the feeling that he is giving me. I get so squirmy.
But the thing is, is that he truly isn’t doing anything wrong. He’s not going too hard, he’s not going too soft, it doesn’t hurt, the feeling I’m supposed to be getting from clit simulation is just so strange for me.
I also sometimes find my brain wandering, and no matter how hard I try and focus on cumming, it just can never happen.

I really do want to cum. It makes him really happy when he makes me feel super good, and I really really want to feel good, but I seriously just don’t know how.
I don’t want to tell him that I sometimes fake orgasms because he would take it as though it’s his fault, but what can I do to help with this? Why is this feeling almost uncomfortable and too much for me to handle and WHY does it make me so squirmy? Is my brain just wired differently?

So, I am F21 and I really don’t know if I have ever experienced a real orgasm.

I never touch myself, and when I have done it in the past, I don’t really get anywhere with it and just end up losing the horniness.

I am currently in a relationship with my boyfriend M22, and he is truly wonderful. He is a wonderful life partner and loves pleasing me in bed.
He is obsessed with eating me out, really loves playing with my clit, and is really good at what he does to me in bed. I feel as though he has possibly made me orgasm at least once with his penis while it was rubbing a certain spot inside of me, but every time he touches my clit and stimulates it… I just don’t know how to feel…
It’s hard to explain, but the feeling I get from it almost feels too much. I really do get a crazy feeling down there, and it can feel good in spurts, but it makes me twitch/squirm and almost gets to the point of uncomfortableness inside myself to where I sometimes just pretend to orgasm so that the feeling can stop. I feel the urge to close my legs and not just enjoy the feeling that he is giving me. I get so squirmy.
But the thing is, is that he truly isn’t doing anything wrong. He’s not going too hard, he’s not going too soft, it doesn’t hurt, the feeling I’m supposed to be getting from clit simulation is just so strange for me.
I also sometimes find my brain wandering, and no matter how hard I try and focus on cumming, it just can never happen.

I really do want to cum. It makes him really happy when he makes me feel super good, and I really really want to feel good, but I seriously just don’t know how.
I don’t want to tell him that I sometimes fake orgasms because he would take it as though it’s his fault, but what can I do to help with this? Why is this feeling almost uncomfortable and too much for me to handle and WHY does it make me so squirmy? Is my brain just wired differently?