I want to try back door but my boyfriend doesn’t /u/Interesting_Cry_9291 Sex

I genuinely don’t know what to do or say anymore. Well for a little bit of context, BF likes to do it in the “other hole “ if you know what I mean. I’m not opposed to it as I’ve done it before and it doesn’t feel the best but it’s not horrible, just definitely not my favorite thing to do. Well it’s something we’ve talked about doing but he refuses to do it with me which to me makes no sense. He says he doesn’t want to hurt me which I understand but he has told me before that him and his ex used to do it in the back door a lot so a part of me really gets hurt that he doesn’t want to do it with me. Today things got heated and while doing it he accidentally put it in the wrong hole. Many will know that without prep or lube or anything it will hurt especially rammed in. Of course I was in pain and told him and he felt super bad. He comforted me and we talked, as a joke I said “since you already put it in do you want to try it” which he shut down again very seriously saying I don’t like the feeling so we won’t do it ever. I was really upset and asked why he doesn’t do it with me when he did it so often with his ex. He explained she had a higher pain tolerance and that he really just didn’t want to hurt me. I got extremely upset and told him of course it was going to hurt if he rams it in but it won’t if we take it slow. Which he shut down again. Is it me? Is it really because he just cares how I feel? Please any advice.

I genuinely don’t know what to do or say anymore. Well for a little bit of context, BF likes to do it in the “other hole “ if you know what I mean. I’m not opposed to it as I’ve done it before and it doesn’t feel the best but it’s not horrible, just definitely not my favorite thing to do. Well it’s something we’ve talked about doing but he refuses to do it with me which to me makes no sense. He says he doesn’t want to hurt me which I understand but he has told me before that him and his ex used to do it in the back door a lot so a part of me really gets hurt that he doesn’t want to do it with me. Today things got heated and while doing it he accidentally put it in the wrong hole. Many will know that without prep or lube or anything it will hurt especially rammed in. Of course I was in pain and told him and he felt super bad. He comforted me and we talked, as a joke I said “since you already put it in do you want to try it” which he shut down again very seriously saying I don’t like the feeling so we won’t do it ever. I was really upset and asked why he doesn’t do it with me when he did it so often with his ex. He explained she had a higher pain tolerance and that he really just didn’t want to hurt me. I got extremely upset and told him of course it was going to hurt if he rams it in but it won’t if we take it slow. Which he shut down again. Is it me? Is it really because he just cares how I feel? Please any advice.