Something’s up with my partners sexuality and I can’t figure it out /u/ExternalSelect7872 Sex

So my partner and I have been together monogamously for a few years now. They’re a wonderful partner to me. The only problem is the sex is… weird.

We’re both pretty kinky and they like to be submissive, but nothing too crazy or violent. I really enjoy being dominant with them. We have sex pretty often but 99% of the time I’m the one getting them off and they don’t reciprocate like… at all. I like doing that, but I wish they reciprocated more and I’ve told them this. Nothing seems to change, though.

They don’t seem to be even remotely interested in my body, my physical appearance, my pleasure, my orgasm, or anything like that. They don’t seem to want to touch me or do anything to me at all sexually. If they didn’t want me to get them off so often I’d think they weren’t attracted to me at all. They’re incredibly loving towards me outside of this and they assure me they’re very attracted to me when I’ve asked about it. When I did a bit of snooping (I’m not proud of this) I found not one bit of evidence of cheating, and in fact only found google searches of how to ask your partner for even more sex.

I wonder if maybe they’re not attracted to women, but they don’t really express a lot of attraction to anyone in general. So then I wonder if maybe they’re somewhere on the spectrum of asexuality. But that doesn’t seem right either.

Does anyone have any idea what might be going on? Does anyone know how I can ask them about this in a compassionate way?

So my partner and I have been together monogamously for a few years now. They’re a wonderful partner to me. The only problem is the sex is… weird.

We’re both pretty kinky and they like to be submissive, but nothing too crazy or violent. I really enjoy being dominant with them. We have sex pretty often but 99% of the time I’m the one getting them off and they don’t reciprocate like… at all. I like doing that, but I wish they reciprocated more and I’ve told them this. Nothing seems to change, though.

They don’t seem to be even remotely interested in my body, my physical appearance, my pleasure, my orgasm, or anything like that. They don’t seem to want to touch me or do anything to me at all sexually. If they didn’t want me to get them off so often I’d think they weren’t attracted to me at all. They’re incredibly loving towards me outside of this and they assure me they’re very attracted to me when I’ve asked about it. When I did a bit of snooping (I’m not proud of this) I found not one bit of evidence of cheating, and in fact only found google searches of how to ask your partner for even more sex.

I wonder if maybe they’re not attracted to women, but they don’t really express a lot of attraction to anyone in general. So then I wonder if maybe they’re somewhere on the spectrum of asexuality. But that doesn’t seem right either.

Does anyone have any idea what might be going on? Does anyone know how I can ask them about this in a compassionate way?