My husband (33m) and I (30f) have been together for 10ish years. I lost my virginity to him, and he’s the only man I’ve ever had sex with. I have no idea what his body count is, I know it’s not high though. Our sex life is really good but not GREAT — and I am painfully shy. Still, after 10 years I have so much trouble speaking up, initiating, being confident, etc etc.
I’ve also struggled with a low libido the last few years due to Prozac, anxiety/depression, adhd, body dysmorphia etc etc. and now I think he’s used to me not wanting it, so he doesn’t try as much as he used to for fear of being rejected I guess
Anyway, I thought the increased sex drive in your 30s was a lie or wouldn’t happen to me bc of the aforementioned issues, but now I’m here and it’s like something switched in my brain — sex is literally all I think about. I’ve never been someone to just be ready to go at any time, but now I feel like I am and I don’t know how to communicate that w/o overwhelming him or feeling disappointed by his answer, which could be no and rejection would kill me lmao
BUT bc of the recent sex drive increase, I recently worked up the courage to talk with him a little more in depth about sex, what I want, how I like it etc. and he was extremely receptive — and now sex IS better for sure, but we still have a ways to go. I’m struggling with the fact that I don’t want to have to tell him to do things, I just want him to do them, but also knowing that he can’t read my mind…… so I have to tell him, but it kind of takes the fun out of it for me? I also feel like I can’t talk when I’m trying to ask for something like the urge to speak is there but I’m not confident and it feels like the most terrifying thing ever to say stuff sometimes
It also recently occurred to me that even though he has more experience than I do, he’s still relatively inexperienced with pleasuring women — no one ever taught him ……. And I really don’t know how to teach him bc I’m also figuring myself out?
So that was kind of a brain dump, but I just don’t even know where to go from here… like how do I teach someone to be better when I’m also trying to get better??? And not hurt his feelings or make him feel like he’s just been doing everything wrong? While simultaneously gaining confidence in myself??? I feel soooo not fully satisfied and it’s making me crazy lol
submitted by /u/amrgt
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r/sex My husband (33m) and I (30f) have been together for 10ish years. I lost my virginity to him, and he’s the only man I’ve ever had sex with. I have no idea what his body count is, I know it’s not high though. Our sex life is really good but not GREAT — and I am painfully shy. Still, after 10 years I have so much trouble speaking up, initiating, being confident, etc etc. I’ve also struggled with a low libido the last few years due to Prozac, anxiety/depression, adhd, body dysmorphia etc etc. and now I think he’s used to me not wanting it, so he doesn’t try as much as he used to for fear of being rejected I guess Anyway, I thought the increased sex drive in your 30s was a lie or wouldn’t happen to me bc of the aforementioned issues, but now I’m here and it’s like something switched in my brain — sex is literally all I think about. I’ve never been someone to just be ready to go at any time, but now I feel like I am and I don’t know how to communicate that w/o overwhelming him or feeling disappointed by his answer, which could be no and rejection would kill me lmao BUT bc of the recent sex drive increase, I recently worked up the courage to talk with him a little more in depth about sex, what I want, how I like it etc. and he was extremely receptive — and now sex IS better for sure, but we still have a ways to go. I’m struggling with the fact that I don’t want to have to tell him to do things, I just want him to do them, but also knowing that he can’t read my mind…… so I have to tell him, but it kind of takes the fun out of it for me? I also feel like I can’t talk when I’m trying to ask for something like the urge to speak is there but I’m not confident and it feels like the most terrifying thing ever to say stuff sometimes It also recently occurred to me that even though he has more experience than I do, he’s still relatively inexperienced with pleasuring women — no one ever taught him ……. And I really don’t know how to teach him bc I’m also figuring myself out? So that was kind of a brain dump, but I just don’t even know where to go from here… like how do I teach someone to be better when I’m also trying to get better??? And not hurt his feelings or make him feel like he’s just been doing everything wrong? While simultaneously gaining confidence in myself??? I feel soooo not fully satisfied and it’s making me crazy lol submitted by /u/amrgt [link] [comments]
My husband (33m) and I (30f) have been together for 10ish years. I lost my virginity to him, and he’s the only man I’ve ever had sex with. I have no idea what his body count is, I know it’s not high though. Our sex life is really good but not GREAT — and I am painfully shy. Still, after 10 years I have so much trouble speaking up, initiating, being confident, etc etc.
I’ve also struggled with a low libido the last few years due to Prozac, anxiety/depression, adhd, body dysmorphia etc etc. and now I think he’s used to me not wanting it, so he doesn’t try as much as he used to for fear of being rejected I guess
Anyway, I thought the increased sex drive in your 30s was a lie or wouldn’t happen to me bc of the aforementioned issues, but now I’m here and it’s like something switched in my brain — sex is literally all I think about. I’ve never been someone to just be ready to go at any time, but now I feel like I am and I don’t know how to communicate that w/o overwhelming him or feeling disappointed by his answer, which could be no and rejection would kill me lmao
BUT bc of the recent sex drive increase, I recently worked up the courage to talk with him a little more in depth about sex, what I want, how I like it etc. and he was extremely receptive — and now sex IS better for sure, but we still have a ways to go. I’m struggling with the fact that I don’t want to have to tell him to do things, I just want him to do them, but also knowing that he can’t read my mind…… so I have to tell him, but it kind of takes the fun out of it for me? I also feel like I can’t talk when I’m trying to ask for something like the urge to speak is there but I’m not confident and it feels like the most terrifying thing ever to say stuff sometimes
It also recently occurred to me that even though he has more experience than I do, he’s still relatively inexperienced with pleasuring women — no one ever taught him ……. And I really don’t know how to teach him bc I’m also figuring myself out?
So that was kind of a brain dump, but I just don’t even know where to go from here… like how do I teach someone to be better when I’m also trying to get better??? And not hurt his feelings or make him feel like he’s just been doing everything wrong? While simultaneously gaining confidence in myself??? I feel soooo not fully satisfied and it’s making me crazy lol
submitted by /u/amrgt
[link] [comments]