My past is haunting my current sex life, help. /u/Specialist-Pipe337 Sex

I (19f) with my boyfriend (20m) have been in a relationship for about a year now. Recently we have been running into problems regarding the bedroom. Throughout our talks through the relationship we discovered his love language is touch and mine is communication.

From the beginning we were having sex, but recently both of us have noticed that I hardly ever instigate and now i mostly deny when he brings it up which I feel has put a bit of a strain on our relationship. Now, I can easily see how I am withholding from him but there’s a very key detail and that is probably what I need to solve.

My boyfriend is well aware of the fact that sex isn’t very “pleasurable” for me, not that he’s bad, it’s great but. He also knows that I have been sexually assaulted in the past, and not even just once. And knows that I never got help for it and it still bothers me. I really really try my best to be in the mood sometimes but it’s been 3 weeks now and he’s leaving for a fam trip for 2 weeks and I just need help.

I want him to feel loved but I don’t want to force myself to. Help. (For anyone who might say that’s not the only way to show/express love, I do show it in many other ways too and to try and make up for the lack of sex)

tl:dr- I don’t like sex due to my past which is currently straining my relationship, help.

I (19f) with my boyfriend (20m) have been in a relationship for about a year now. Recently we have been running into problems regarding the bedroom. Throughout our talks through the relationship we discovered his love language is touch and mine is communication.

From the beginning we were having sex, but recently both of us have noticed that I hardly ever instigate and now i mostly deny when he brings it up which I feel has put a bit of a strain on our relationship. Now, I can easily see how I am withholding from him but there’s a very key detail and that is probably what I need to solve.

My boyfriend is well aware of the fact that sex isn’t very “pleasurable” for me, not that he’s bad, it’s great but. He also knows that I have been sexually assaulted in the past, and not even just once. And knows that I never got help for it and it still bothers me. I really really try my best to be in the mood sometimes but it’s been 3 weeks now and he’s leaving for a fam trip for 2 weeks and I just need help.

I want him to feel loved but I don’t want to force myself to. Help. (For anyone who might say that’s not the only way to show/express love, I do show it in many other ways too and to try and make up for the lack of sex)

tl:dr- I don’t like sex due to my past which is currently straining my relationship, help.