Frequent cancellations make me wonder if I should lower my expectations? /u/G-I-Tate DnD: Roll for Initiative!

TL;DR: I’m a new player, sessions get cancelled more often than I thought and I am disappointed. Should I lower my expectations?

I love D&D and this past year has been the first time in my life I’ve been able to play in an actual campaign (technically 3). I take time to read all the lore documents for homebrew worlds. You have a 12 god pantheon and 40 page lore doc? Awesome, I’m going to read it all multiple times before I build my character, I’ll ask questions during character creation, I’ll be the note taker, and I’m more than happy to tweak a character to fit the world better. Bluntly put: I am passionate and willing to jump in with both feet. I just want to play some D&D.

But at this point, I’m struggling to keep my passion and excitement up for game due to constant cancellations.

I’m a 33 year old mom with 4 kids, 2 of whom are special needs, and my partner and I work full time opposite schedules. Carving out 3-4 hours a week or every other week for myself is not an easy feat, but in the interest maintaining at least 1 hobby, we make it work.

The first campaign (in person) I joined earlier this year never got to session 1. The DM had some personal things going on in their life, so while it was disappointing, I understood it wasn’t a good time for them.

2nd campaign (in person), both my husband and I join. We make it for the 1 day a week we have off together every other week, arrange a baby sitter, a backup baby sitter, and a backup-backup sitter. We’re 3 sessions in out of 7. 4 have been cancelled (1 session was cancelled due to us–while getting ready to take our kids to the sitter’s on game day, one of our dogs bolted outside and was hit by a car–so I take the blame for that one). I’m more understanding with this campaign because holidays and the nature of in person games makes meetings more difficult. It can be incredibly frustrating because games end up cancelled after we lock in our sitters, but that is just sort of how it is.

3rd campaign (online) is the most frustrating for me. I was determined to play and decided I would do a pay-per-session campaign with a pro DM, because I figured people are less likely to cancel when their wallet is involved. The campaign is fun, the homebrew setting is rich and spooky, and I have a blast when we get to play. I set aside 3 hours, 1 day a week where I get to slap my headphones on, lock my office door and play a game undisturbed and I look forward to it so much! However, out of 30 sessions, 12 or 13 have been cancelled, usually with an hour or 2 notice due to the DM.

Saying I feel disappointed is an understatement, and I feel really guilty about that disappointment. It’s to the point where I’m considering dropping the 3rd game. I’ve looked at other pay-per-session campaigns online, but now I’m sort of soured by the idea I’ll get invested in something that I’ll make time and mental space that gets cancelled constantly. Before I was able to play, I was always told and saw online that D&D is a time commitment, to respect the time and schedules of the other players and DM, so I made sure to wait until I could properly make those commitments before joining a campaign.

Perhaps I’m putting too much into this and need to lower my expectations. Have I just not found the right group yet, or is this sort of thing par for the course?

submitted by /u/G-I-Tate
[link] [comments]

​r/DnD TL;DR: I’m a new player, sessions get cancelled more often than I thought and I am disappointed. Should I lower my expectations? I love D&D and this past year has been the first time in my life I’ve been able to play in an actual campaign (technically 3). I take time to read all the lore documents for homebrew worlds. You have a 12 god pantheon and 40 page lore doc? Awesome, I’m going to read it all multiple times before I build my character, I’ll ask questions during character creation, I’ll be the note taker, and I’m more than happy to tweak a character to fit the world better. Bluntly put: I am passionate and willing to jump in with both feet. I just want to play some D&D. But at this point, I’m struggling to keep my passion and excitement up for game due to constant cancellations. I’m a 33 year old mom with 4 kids, 2 of whom are special needs, and my partner and I work full time opposite schedules. Carving out 3-4 hours a week or every other week for myself is not an easy feat, but in the interest maintaining at least 1 hobby, we make it work. The first campaign (in person) I joined earlier this year never got to session 1. The DM had some personal things going on in their life, so while it was disappointing, I understood it wasn’t a good time for them. 2nd campaign (in person), both my husband and I join. We make it for the 1 day a week we have off together every other week, arrange a baby sitter, a backup baby sitter, and a backup-backup sitter. We’re 3 sessions in out of 7. 4 have been cancelled (1 session was cancelled due to us–while getting ready to take our kids to the sitter’s on game day, one of our dogs bolted outside and was hit by a car–so I take the blame for that one). I’m more understanding with this campaign because holidays and the nature of in person games makes meetings more difficult. It can be incredibly frustrating because games end up cancelled after we lock in our sitters, but that is just sort of how it is. 3rd campaign (online) is the most frustrating for me. I was determined to play and decided I would do a pay-per-session campaign with a pro DM, because I figured people are less likely to cancel when their wallet is involved. The campaign is fun, the homebrew setting is rich and spooky, and I have a blast when we get to play. I set aside 3 hours, 1 day a week where I get to slap my headphones on, lock my office door and play a game undisturbed and I look forward to it so much! However, out of 30 sessions, 12 or 13 have been cancelled, usually with an hour or 2 notice due to the DM. Saying I feel disappointed is an understatement, and I feel really guilty about that disappointment. It’s to the point where I’m considering dropping the 3rd game. I’ve looked at other pay-per-session campaigns online, but now I’m sort of soured by the idea I’ll get invested in something that I’ll make time and mental space that gets cancelled constantly. Before I was able to play, I was always told and saw online that D&D is a time commitment, to respect the time and schedules of the other players and DM, so I made sure to wait until I could properly make those commitments before joining a campaign. Perhaps I’m putting too much into this and need to lower my expectations. Have I just not found the right group yet, or is this sort of thing par for the course? submitted by /u/G-I-Tate [link] [comments] 

TL;DR: I’m a new player, sessions get cancelled more often than I thought and I am disappointed. Should I lower my expectations?

I love D&D and this past year has been the first time in my life I’ve been able to play in an actual campaign (technically 3). I take time to read all the lore documents for homebrew worlds. You have a 12 god pantheon and 40 page lore doc? Awesome, I’m going to read it all multiple times before I build my character, I’ll ask questions during character creation, I’ll be the note taker, and I’m more than happy to tweak a character to fit the world better. Bluntly put: I am passionate and willing to jump in with both feet. I just want to play some D&D.

But at this point, I’m struggling to keep my passion and excitement up for game due to constant cancellations.

I’m a 33 year old mom with 4 kids, 2 of whom are special needs, and my partner and I work full time opposite schedules. Carving out 3-4 hours a week or every other week for myself is not an easy feat, but in the interest maintaining at least 1 hobby, we make it work.

The first campaign (in person) I joined earlier this year never got to session 1. The DM had some personal things going on in their life, so while it was disappointing, I understood it wasn’t a good time for them.

2nd campaign (in person), both my husband and I join. We make it for the 1 day a week we have off together every other week, arrange a baby sitter, a backup baby sitter, and a backup-backup sitter. We’re 3 sessions in out of 7. 4 have been cancelled (1 session was cancelled due to us–while getting ready to take our kids to the sitter’s on game day, one of our dogs bolted outside and was hit by a car–so I take the blame for that one). I’m more understanding with this campaign because holidays and the nature of in person games makes meetings more difficult. It can be incredibly frustrating because games end up cancelled after we lock in our sitters, but that is just sort of how it is.

3rd campaign (online) is the most frustrating for me. I was determined to play and decided I would do a pay-per-session campaign with a pro DM, because I figured people are less likely to cancel when their wallet is involved. The campaign is fun, the homebrew setting is rich and spooky, and I have a blast when we get to play. I set aside 3 hours, 1 day a week where I get to slap my headphones on, lock my office door and play a game undisturbed and I look forward to it so much! However, out of 30 sessions, 12 or 13 have been cancelled, usually with an hour or 2 notice due to the DM.

Saying I feel disappointed is an understatement, and I feel really guilty about that disappointment. It’s to the point where I’m considering dropping the 3rd game. I’ve looked at other pay-per-session campaigns online, but now I’m sort of soured by the idea I’ll get invested in something that I’ll make time and mental space that gets cancelled constantly. Before I was able to play, I was always told and saw online that D&D is a time commitment, to respect the time and schedules of the other players and DM, so I made sure to wait until I could properly make those commitments before joining a campaign.

Perhaps I’m putting too much into this and need to lower my expectations. Have I just not found the right group yet, or is this sort of thing par for the course?

submitted by /u/G-I-Tate
[link] [comments] 

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