Why can’t I orgasm (f) when I’m with a partner? /u/Rare-Ad-6590 Sex

I’m 24 now. I’ve never had an orgasm with a partner. I’ve been with my fair share of people — men, women, all levels of experience. I’ve never been able to cum. Even when this lady ate me out for probably 3 hrs nonstop. It felt great but I didn’t even get close. I’ve been with men who had awesome technique during oral, who always hit the right spot and used the right amount of pressure, and there was never a point in which I thought, “Damn I’m going to cum at some point.”

Yes, I’ve had my fair share of trauma — I was sexualised way too young probably starting at the age of 10. I was sexually assaulted multiple times in my late teens. But I’ve gone to therapy for probably 8 years in total, and nowadays psychologists consider me pretty mentally healthy. I have processed most of my trauma and don’t get any symptoms of PTSD anymore. At least consciously, I don’t think of my past experiences during present sexual encounters. I’m pretty well-adjusted in my everyday life. It’s pretty stress free for me now; I am financially stable with a chill job, in a great relationships, with awesome friends, and fulfilling hobbies.

I can cum by myself with a vibrator, but it has to be a certain shape and size and only works on the fastest mode. I got my first vibrator at the age of 19 and didn’t have my first orgasm during masturbation until I was 21. It also only sometimes works, no matter how horny I am. Sometimes I can go for five hours and not cum at all, sometimes I cum in 1 minute, it really depends on the day. Sometimes I don’t use it for weeks or months and still have a hard time cumming when I start using it again.

I got my clitoral hood pierced once which I heard can increase clit sensitivity but it probably actually decreased the overall sensitivity. I couldn’t cum at all during that time. Now that I took it out, it’s a little more possible.

I’ve been with my current partner for a little over a year now and I absolutely adore him and trust him fully. I told him near the beginning that I have a hard time cumming and he has never made me feel inadequate about it. But we have sex maybe four or five times a week and I feel sort of guilty that I’ve never had an orgasm with him. When he eats me out. When I use a vibrator during sex. When I rub myself. How the fuck do I get in a place where I can cum during sex, or is it just an impossible endeavor?

I’m 24 now. I’ve never had an orgasm with a partner. I’ve been with my fair share of people — men, women, all levels of experience. I’ve never been able to cum. Even when this lady ate me out for probably 3 hrs nonstop. It felt great but I didn’t even get close. I’ve been with men who had awesome technique during oral, who always hit the right spot and used the right amount of pressure, and there was never a point in which I thought, “Damn I’m going to cum at some point.”

Yes, I’ve had my fair share of trauma — I was sexualised way too young probably starting at the age of 10. I was sexually assaulted multiple times in my late teens. But I’ve gone to therapy for probably 8 years in total, and nowadays psychologists consider me pretty mentally healthy. I have processed most of my trauma and don’t get any symptoms of PTSD anymore. At least consciously, I don’t think of my past experiences during present sexual encounters. I’m pretty well-adjusted in my everyday life. It’s pretty stress free for me now; I am financially stable with a chill job, in a great relationships, with awesome friends, and fulfilling hobbies.

I can cum by myself with a vibrator, but it has to be a certain shape and size and only works on the fastest mode. I got my first vibrator at the age of 19 and didn’t have my first orgasm during masturbation until I was 21. It also only sometimes works, no matter how horny I am. Sometimes I can go for five hours and not cum at all, sometimes I cum in 1 minute, it really depends on the day. Sometimes I don’t use it for weeks or months and still have a hard time cumming when I start using it again.

I got my clitoral hood pierced once which I heard can increase clit sensitivity but it probably actually decreased the overall sensitivity. I couldn’t cum at all during that time. Now that I took it out, it’s a little more possible.

I’ve been with my current partner for a little over a year now and I absolutely adore him and trust him fully. I told him near the beginning that I have a hard time cumming and he has never made me feel inadequate about it. But we have sex maybe four or five times a week and I feel sort of guilty that I’ve never had an orgasm with him. When he eats me out. When I use a vibrator during sex. When I rub myself. How the fuck do I get in a place where I can cum during sex, or is it just an impossible endeavor?