How do I save our dead bedroom? (31f) (32m) (4 years together)
I (31F) and my partner (32M) (together 4 years) rarely do the “spicy sleep” anymore. I mean like once or twice a month. He’s just not interested. He claims it’s because when he’s high (he smokes before bed to help him sleep) he doesn’t like to be touched. He also claims it’s due to low testosterone. He says it is NOT my fault. I’m conventionally attractive (looks haven’t changed. In fact, I’ve even lost some weight), so I’m confident that’s not the issue. Basically if I try to initiate he’ll say “I mean, we can if you want to. I won’t say no. Why don’t you just get on top?” … this makes me feel so unwanted that I just don’t even want to do it anymore so I wind up just rolling over, going to sleep, and taking care of myself on my own the next day. I’ve even tried to surprise him with lingerie when he got home from a trip, but was he was “tired” so I wound up just changing into sweats.
I’ve honestly given up trying, and when he makes the excuse “well you don’t try either” I just remind him: “you’re not interested. Why would I try just so I can be told that I can climb on top? That’s not what I want.”
Additional context: I’m confident that’s he’s not cheating. I have his phone password (not that I ever dig through his phone or anything. I don’t feel the need to). And we share our locations with each other. We just moved to another state where we barely even know anyone else. We both work remotely going to see clients at their own locations, so it’s not like there’s someone else at the “office”.
Any advice is appreciated.
submitted by /u/throwaway274857384
[link] [comments]
r/sex How do I save our dead bedroom? (31f) (32m) (4 years together) I (31F) and my partner (32M) (together 4 years) rarely do the “spicy sleep” anymore. I mean like once or twice a month. He’s just not interested. He claims it’s because when he’s high (he smokes before bed to help him sleep) he doesn’t like to be touched. He also claims it’s due to low testosterone. He says it is NOT my fault. I’m conventionally attractive (looks haven’t changed. In fact, I’ve even lost some weight), so I’m confident that’s not the issue. Basically if I try to initiate he’ll say “I mean, we can if you want to. I won’t say no. Why don’t you just get on top?” … this makes me feel so unwanted that I just don’t even want to do it anymore so I wind up just rolling over, going to sleep, and taking care of myself on my own the next day. I’ve even tried to surprise him with lingerie when he got home from a trip, but was he was “tired” so I wound up just changing into sweats. I’ve honestly given up trying, and when he makes the excuse “well you don’t try either” I just remind him: “you’re not interested. Why would I try just so I can be told that I can climb on top? That’s not what I want.” Additional context: I’m confident that’s he’s not cheating. I have his phone password (not that I ever dig through his phone or anything. I don’t feel the need to). And we share our locations with each other. We just moved to another state where we barely even know anyone else. We both work remotely going to see clients at their own locations, so it’s not like there’s someone else at the “office”. Any advice is appreciated. submitted by /u/throwaway274857384 [link] [comments]
How do I save our dead bedroom? (31f) (32m) (4 years together)
I (31F) and my partner (32M) (together 4 years) rarely do the “spicy sleep” anymore. I mean like once or twice a month. He’s just not interested. He claims it’s because when he’s high (he smokes before bed to help him sleep) he doesn’t like to be touched. He also claims it’s due to low testosterone. He says it is NOT my fault. I’m conventionally attractive (looks haven’t changed. In fact, I’ve even lost some weight), so I’m confident that’s not the issue. Basically if I try to initiate he’ll say “I mean, we can if you want to. I won’t say no. Why don’t you just get on top?” … this makes me feel so unwanted that I just don’t even want to do it anymore so I wind up just rolling over, going to sleep, and taking care of myself on my own the next day. I’ve even tried to surprise him with lingerie when he got home from a trip, but was he was “tired” so I wound up just changing into sweats.
I’ve honestly given up trying, and when he makes the excuse “well you don’t try either” I just remind him: “you’re not interested. Why would I try just so I can be told that I can climb on top? That’s not what I want.”
Additional context: I’m confident that’s he’s not cheating. I have his phone password (not that I ever dig through his phone or anything. I don’t feel the need to). And we share our locations with each other. We just moved to another state where we barely even know anyone else. We both work remotely going to see clients at their own locations, so it’s not like there’s someone else at the “office”.
Any advice is appreciated.
submitted by /u/throwaway274857384
[link] [comments]