How to tell my SO I feel like he violated a boundary? /u/throwaway0796959 Sex

Last night my (24F) SO (25M) and I had a few drinks. He got a lot more drunk than he was intending, while I was just a little buzzed. When we went to bed he was still pretty hammered, and he wanted to get frisky. I asked a few times if it was okay, and if he was okay, and he was very enthusiastic about it. So we had sex.

One thing he likes to do is after I orgasm, keep touching my clit. I’m too sensitive right after, it doesn’t feel good just overwhelming. We’ve talked about it outside of the bedroom and he said he finds it hot that he can make my body react so strongly. I find it hot that he finds it hot, so a little bit of it is okay.

It was a really long session last night though, so when he went to play with my clit after my last orgasm I pushed his hand away and said “no”. He kinda laughed me off, and went back to it. Again I pushed his hand and said “Actually no”. He went back a third time and that’s when I snapped “(name) NO.” Then he pulled away and looked at me and seemed sort of hurt that I snapped at him.

I didn’t want to talk about it because he was still drunk and I was still a little tipsy, but now that it’s morning and we’re sober I want to. I’ve been with him for 4 years now and we basically grew up together. I know every Reddit post ever says “he’s the sweetest guy but he hit me, but I don’t want to leave because he walks my dog for me sometimes” but last night really wasn’t like him. We’re talking about the guy that washes my hair with all of my specialty products for my hair texture, the guy that gets up early to pack my lunches for me, that never fails to keep doing his household chores, that takes care of me when I’m sick and even when I’m not sick. The guy that asks me frequently during sex if this is okay/if I’m okay even though we’ve been having sex now for years.

So i really don’t think it was on purpose last night. I don’t feel like I was assaulted or anything, just not taken seriously. I think I would like for us to have a safe word, and if that’s ever violated then that would be my deal breaking line. But how do I bring up this conversation? I’ve never felt unsure about talking to him like this.

Last night my (24F) SO (25M) and I had a few drinks. He got a lot more drunk than he was intending, while I was just a little buzzed. When we went to bed he was still pretty hammered, and he wanted to get frisky. I asked a few times if it was okay, and if he was okay, and he was very enthusiastic about it. So we had sex.

One thing he likes to do is after I orgasm, keep touching my clit. I’m too sensitive right after, it doesn’t feel good just overwhelming. We’ve talked about it outside of the bedroom and he said he finds it hot that he can make my body react so strongly. I find it hot that he finds it hot, so a little bit of it is okay.

It was a really long session last night though, so when he went to play with my clit after my last orgasm I pushed his hand away and said “no”. He kinda laughed me off, and went back to it. Again I pushed his hand and said “Actually no”. He went back a third time and that’s when I snapped “(name) NO.” Then he pulled away and looked at me and seemed sort of hurt that I snapped at him.

I didn’t want to talk about it because he was still drunk and I was still a little tipsy, but now that it’s morning and we’re sober I want to. I’ve been with him for 4 years now and we basically grew up together. I know every Reddit post ever says “he’s the sweetest guy but he hit me, but I don’t want to leave because he walks my dog for me sometimes” but last night really wasn’t like him. We’re talking about the guy that washes my hair with all of my specialty products for my hair texture, the guy that gets up early to pack my lunches for me, that never fails to keep doing his household chores, that takes care of me when I’m sick and even when I’m not sick. The guy that asks me frequently during sex if this is okay/if I’m okay even though we’ve been having sex now for years.

So i really don’t think it was on purpose last night. I don’t feel like I was assaulted or anything, just not taken seriously. I think I would like for us to have a safe word, and if that’s ever violated then that would be my deal breaking line. But how do I bring up this conversation? I’ve never felt unsure about talking to him like this.