Never had sex before, can someone explain it to me as if I’m an alien? /u/watsonjrno99 Sex

Male, I’m in my late twenties and have never had sex before for a number of reasons, mostly because of insecurities with my body, and now with insecurities for simply never having done it.

I feel like people who have sex in their late teens/early twenties don’t need to “think” about it as much, because it’s known that you’re inexperienced and shouldn’t expect much. But late twenties? Surely by now you’d have done it? So, there’s this barrier in my mind that stops me from advancing, simply because I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do in real sex (I’ve always heard porn is inaccurate, so I don’t think that counts as learning).

I’ve tried to read about having sex for the first time, but a lot of blog posts either give simple tips like “wear a condom” and “go for an STI test” and “make sure you’re clean.” I saw one saying “if you’re nervous, start with foreplay, that always eases the tension” great, except I don’t even know what foreplay is or what to do there. “Try and communicate what you want in sex” but I don’t even know what I want because I haven’t even done it.

So, without going into all the details of why I’m a virgin, I’m just asking for some sort of step by step on what I should do. I know how to approach girls and make friends (And I know some of these girls want to have sex) but I don’t know how to turn the conversation sexual, how to ask for sex, what to do on the way home, and then how to actually do it once you’re both naked. I don’t know how to touch a woman in the right places.

Also to be honest I think I’m going to hire a prostitute (Legal in my country) just so I can rip the bandaid off, I’ve found a whole forum where people review prostitutes so I’ve got a good idea of specific people before I actually hire them.

I’ve read a few people on Reddit saying that losing your virginity to a prostitute is a bad idea, but I feel like that’s just as much of a construct as being a virgin is to begin with, if I really want to I don’t need to consider it losing my virginity and won’t count it. My plan was to go to a few just so I can understand the physical aspect, understand how to move my body. I feel like I’d rather “train” a few times (Legally, obviously) so I’m more confident about the topic when talking to women.

As in, I think a big part of why I’m struggling to start those conversations that lead to sex is because I’d be basically making it up, and then I’m going to get in bed with a girl and be stumped as to where to actually start. Any guidance here would be really really helpful.

Male, I’m in my late twenties and have never had sex before for a number of reasons, mostly because of insecurities with my body, and now with insecurities for simply never having done it.

I feel like people who have sex in their late teens/early twenties don’t need to “think” about it as much, because it’s known that you’re inexperienced and shouldn’t expect much. But late twenties? Surely by now you’d have done it? So, there’s this barrier in my mind that stops me from advancing, simply because I don’t even know what I’m supposed to do in real sex (I’ve always heard porn is inaccurate, so I don’t think that counts as learning).

I’ve tried to read about having sex for the first time, but a lot of blog posts either give simple tips like “wear a condom” and “go for an STI test” and “make sure you’re clean.” I saw one saying “if you’re nervous, start with foreplay, that always eases the tension” great, except I don’t even know what foreplay is or what to do there. “Try and communicate what you want in sex” but I don’t even know what I want because I haven’t even done it.

So, without going into all the details of why I’m a virgin, I’m just asking for some sort of step by step on what I should do. I know how to approach girls and make friends (And I know some of these girls want to have sex) but I don’t know how to turn the conversation sexual, how to ask for sex, what to do on the way home, and then how to actually do it once you’re both naked. I don’t know how to touch a woman in the right places.

Also to be honest I think I’m going to hire a prostitute (Legal in my country) just so I can rip the bandaid off, I’ve found a whole forum where people review prostitutes so I’ve got a good idea of specific people before I actually hire them.

I’ve read a few people on Reddit saying that losing your virginity to a prostitute is a bad idea, but I feel like that’s just as much of a construct as being a virgin is to begin with, if I really want to I don’t need to consider it losing my virginity and won’t count it. My plan was to go to a few just so I can understand the physical aspect, understand how to move my body. I feel like I’d rather “train” a few times (Legally, obviously) so I’m more confident about the topic when talking to women.

As in, I think a big part of why I’m struggling to start those conversations that lead to sex is because I’d be basically making it up, and then I’m going to get in bed with a girl and be stumped as to where to actually start. Any guidance here would be really really helpful.