Should I retire? /u/SNinerr DnD: Roll for Initiative!

For a long time I have played with the same group of friends for DnD 5e. Nearly 4 years with this group. They are all my friends from long before playing DnD with them. I’ve always been the dungeon master, despite some of them playing for many years and outright refusing to ever DM. I admit I do prefer to DM, and I enjoy putting a lot of effort and time into my sessions. I’m currently a year and three quaters through Curse of Strahd and the players love it and give me plenty of praise and thanks. They are not bad players as any issues we have had I’ve been able to run a session 0 and catch up and resolved things. All except for one issue.

Since we have all gotten busier and drifted apart (left university and gotten jobs and partners) it appears as though we only ever meet up for DnD when I plan in a session. Otherwise there will be no communication or checking in as friends, playing video games or anything like that. They have different friends for this. It’s gotten to the point where I’m their DM, they turn up, play and have fun, and then leave and won’t talk about anything but DnD until the next session. Any other social meetup is left with a “Sorry I’m busy” but then if I offer dnd for the same night they can turn up.

It made it all feel very transactional and like I was putting a lot of my time and effort in for people that might not do the same for me. So I held a session 0 on this and discussed these feelings about 10 months ago. We all agreed that everyone was going to run a session each. At least once every 3 months, to see what effort it takes to DM, let me play sometimes and turn us into a DnD friendship group rather than players and DM friends. As well as booking in some video game nights etc.. But 10 months later and only one player has done this. Another player left the group because of these requests (and some other personal stuff). And then the remaining players have run one, maybe two sessions when I’ve asked for a break because I need to prep some large moment or was moving house so couldn’t host. Note neither of these were offered openly, I had to ask for it or push.

Some unrelated player conflict has come up now and we are having a session 0 tonight. Im considering bringing it up and hanging up the mantle and searching for greener pastures where the players might value me outside of session or atleast pay me for putting a load of effort into them. I’m starting to feel like it’s a job(that I enjoy tbf) to entertain others that they turn up for and clock out till the next one and will message about when its relevant to their characters. Tell me if im being dramatic or whatever, I’m not really sure what to do, any advice is welcome.

For a long time I have played with the same group of friends for DnD 5e. Nearly 4 years with this group. They are all my friends from long before playing DnD with them. I’ve always been the dungeon master, despite some of them playing for many years and outright refusing to ever DM. I admit I do prefer to DM, and I enjoy putting a lot of effort and time into my sessions. I’m currently a year and three quaters through Curse of Strahd and the players love it and give me plenty of praise and thanks. They are not bad players as any issues we have had I’ve been able to run a session 0 and catch up and resolved things. All except for one issue.

Since we have all gotten busier and drifted apart (left university and gotten jobs and partners) it appears as though we only ever meet up for DnD when I plan in a session. Otherwise there will be no communication or checking in as friends, playing video games or anything like that. They have different friends for this. It’s gotten to the point where I’m their DM, they turn up, play and have fun, and then leave and won’t talk about anything but DnD until the next session. Any other social meetup is left with a “Sorry I’m busy” but then if I offer dnd for the same night they can turn up.

It made it all feel very transactional and like I was putting a lot of my time and effort in for people that might not do the same for me. So I held a session 0 on this and discussed these feelings about 10 months ago. We all agreed that everyone was going to run a session each. At least once every 3 months, to see what effort it takes to DM, let me play sometimes and turn us into a DnD friendship group rather than players and DM friends. As well as booking in some video game nights etc.. But 10 months later and only one player has done this. Another player left the group because of these requests (and some other personal stuff). And then the remaining players have run one, maybe two sessions when I’ve asked for a break because I need to prep some large moment or was moving house so couldn’t host. Note neither of these were offered openly, I had to ask for it or push.

Some unrelated player conflict has come up now and we are having a session 0 tonight. Im considering bringing it up and hanging up the mantle and searching for greener pastures where the players might value me outside of session or atleast pay me for putting a load of effort into them. I’m starting to feel like it’s a job(that I enjoy tbf) to entertain others that they turn up for and clock out till the next one and will message about when its relevant to their characters. Tell me if im being dramatic or whatever, I’m not really sure what to do, any advice is welcome.