Sexual fantasies, when should a partner be concerned? /u/nelsonself Sex

So my SO (F) has fantasies about MMF, double penetration, gangbangs, group sex…..

I do not share the same fantasies. I have a past of infidelity and betrayal. There are some insecurities on my end and those are a whole separate issue which I’m well aware of and continually working on.

However, at this stage, I’m confident that I could not help fulfil or be OK with her seeking these out.

She is very sexually open and liberated and talks about these fantasies openly. She has stated that she’s interested in having them fulfilled one day, but they are not a necessity. She has stated that she would be more than happy to just keep sex with her and I. The fact that she has stated she’s interested in having them fulfilled makes me partly feel diminished regarding my status and importance of her sexual partner.

As well, I think the fact that I am not open to these fantasies has hindered my own concept of sexuality and my fantasies.

I’m very self-aware and I’m always striving to be as strong, healthy, resilient, and open minded as possible. I just don’t know if I could ever be OK with these types of fantasies. Maybe down the road, but it’s not overly probable that I will be.

I think the biggest insecurity or limiting belief behind my mindset is “well if you want these things then I’m not enough”… I think this is pretty typical wounded male thinking, and I would very much like to redefine my insecurities

I grew up in incredibly traditional. At what point should a person be threatened by their partner’s sexual fantasies?

So my SO (F) has fantasies about MMF, double penetration, gangbangs, group sex…..

I do not share the same fantasies. I have a past of infidelity and betrayal. There are some insecurities on my end and those are a whole separate issue which I’m well aware of and continually working on.

However, at this stage, I’m confident that I could not help fulfil or be OK with her seeking these out.

She is very sexually open and liberated and talks about these fantasies openly. She has stated that she’s interested in having them fulfilled one day, but they are not a necessity. She has stated that she would be more than happy to just keep sex with her and I. The fact that she has stated she’s interested in having them fulfilled makes me partly feel diminished regarding my status and importance of her sexual partner.

As well, I think the fact that I am not open to these fantasies has hindered my own concept of sexuality and my fantasies.

I’m very self-aware and I’m always striving to be as strong, healthy, resilient, and open minded as possible. I just don’t know if I could ever be OK with these types of fantasies. Maybe down the road, but it’s not overly probable that I will be.

I think the biggest insecurity or limiting belief behind my mindset is “well if you want these things then I’m not enough”… I think this is pretty typical wounded male thinking, and I would very much like to redefine my insecurities

I grew up in incredibly traditional. At what point should a person be threatened by their partner’s sexual fantasies?