Is an orgasm always obvious? /u/throwawayboyproblemz Sex

So I (25F) have had problems with achieving an orgasm most of my adult life. The tl;dr is that I was abused in my early teens & it affected how I viewed sex & pleasure for a long time.

I can recall one instance in early adulthood where (I think) I had a proper orgasm. I haven’t been able to replicate this though.

When I masturbate, I usually just stimulate my clit (clit + penetration almost feels like too much sometimes).

This is hard to explain, but I’ll try. When I stimulate my clit, I can get to a point where it feels really good… but I don’t know if it’s an orgasm. Basically if I tense the right way paired with clit stimulation it builds up into a ‘release’ that feels like a 3-4 intense clitoral throbs. I have the urge to stop at this point, continuing feels uncomfortable… but I’m also not satisfied at the same time. If I give myself a minute I can usually do this over again a couple consecutive times with similar results.

The thing is, I don’t think this is an orgasm. It doesn’t feel like the one I had a long time ago – it just feels like my clit throbbing very hard for a couple seconds. And it’s not satiating, which is frustrating.

So this begs the question – is this normal, or am I doing something wrong? A part of me feels like I’m relying on tensing to feel good… but when i try to relax my muscles nothing really happens/feels good.

I’m at a loss of what to do. Has anyone had a similar experience ?

So I (25F) have had problems with achieving an orgasm most of my adult life. The tl;dr is that I was abused in my early teens & it affected how I viewed sex & pleasure for a long time.

I can recall one instance in early adulthood where (I think) I had a proper orgasm. I haven’t been able to replicate this though.

When I masturbate, I usually just stimulate my clit (clit + penetration almost feels like too much sometimes).

This is hard to explain, but I’ll try. When I stimulate my clit, I can get to a point where it feels really good… but I don’t know if it’s an orgasm. Basically if I tense the right way paired with clit stimulation it builds up into a ‘release’ that feels like a 3-4 intense clitoral throbs. I have the urge to stop at this point, continuing feels uncomfortable… but I’m also not satisfied at the same time. If I give myself a minute I can usually do this over again a couple consecutive times with similar results.

The thing is, I don’t think this is an orgasm. It doesn’t feel like the one I had a long time ago – it just feels like my clit throbbing very hard for a couple seconds. And it’s not satiating, which is frustrating.

So this begs the question – is this normal, or am I doing something wrong? A part of me feels like I’m relying on tensing to feel good… but when i try to relax my muscles nothing really happens/feels good.

I’m at a loss of what to do. Has anyone had a similar experience ?