How Do I Stop Convincing Myself that My Boyfriend is More Interested in a Third Woman /u/Sufficient-Use3423 Sex

For context, my bf (24) and I (22) just had our first threesome. She is a friend we met at a dispensary we both like. Last night, we had her over and initiated a three-way. It was so so fun for all of us. After she went home, my bf and I talked on and on about how fun it was and when we’ll have her over again. Basically, it was a smash hit.

However, this morning when I woke up, all I could think about was how much he talked about her and wanting to fuck her. What he meant by that was fucking her AND me but he didn’t say that out loud. I don’t like to be a jealous girlfriend because I think it shows a lack of trust. I spent the entire morning trying so hard to remind myself who I am to my bf and remember that after our friend left, he and I had sex that was so much better than it has been for the past month (things were just getting stale and repetitive in the bedroom). For some reason though, I just kept getting more and more anxious and worried that I was not someone that can sexually satisfy my bf. He’s a lot more experienced than me and I have always been insecure about how I carry myself in the bedroom. I don’t think I’m unattractive and he is very good at making me feel like the most beautiful, sexiest woman on the planet.

Anyway, I knew he would know I was feeling anxious and something was bothering me. The anxiety didn’t come from a fear of him leaving me. I was anxious because I knew he would hear me say my irrational thoughts and be disappointed about it because he would think I never wanted to do that again (which isn’t true). I told him what was going on in my head and basically explained to him that I am convincing myself to be upset even though I enjoyed last night so much. I knew the thoughts I had this morning were coming from a past experience of someone I loved leaving me for a friend that we were both close with.

I don’t know how to sort through all of these thoughts methodically. It’s like as soon as I start to unpack all of these feelings I just spiral instantly. How do I keep from getting it in my head that I am not enough sexually for him? The rational, look-at-the-facts person that I am knows that isn’t true but it’s like as soon as I think about that, that rational person disappears.

For context, my bf (24) and I (22) just had our first threesome. She is a friend we met at a dispensary we both like. Last night, we had her over and initiated a three-way. It was so so fun for all of us. After she went home, my bf and I talked on and on about how fun it was and when we’ll have her over again. Basically, it was a smash hit.

However, this morning when I woke up, all I could think about was how much he talked about her and wanting to fuck her. What he meant by that was fucking her AND me but he didn’t say that out loud. I don’t like to be a jealous girlfriend because I think it shows a lack of trust. I spent the entire morning trying so hard to remind myself who I am to my bf and remember that after our friend left, he and I had sex that was so much better than it has been for the past month (things were just getting stale and repetitive in the bedroom). For some reason though, I just kept getting more and more anxious and worried that I was not someone that can sexually satisfy my bf. He’s a lot more experienced than me and I have always been insecure about how I carry myself in the bedroom. I don’t think I’m unattractive and he is very good at making me feel like the most beautiful, sexiest woman on the planet.

Anyway, I knew he would know I was feeling anxious and something was bothering me. The anxiety didn’t come from a fear of him leaving me. I was anxious because I knew he would hear me say my irrational thoughts and be disappointed about it because he would think I never wanted to do that again (which isn’t true). I told him what was going on in my head and basically explained to him that I am convincing myself to be upset even though I enjoyed last night so much. I knew the thoughts I had this morning were coming from a past experience of someone I loved leaving me for a friend that we were both close with.

I don’t know how to sort through all of these thoughts methodically. It’s like as soon as I start to unpack all of these feelings I just spiral instantly. How do I keep from getting it in my head that I am not enough sexually for him? The rational, look-at-the-facts person that I am knows that isn’t true but it’s like as soon as I think about that, that rational person disappears.