I think I made a mistake not telling my gf the app we used to spice up our bedroom was made by me /u/Away-Egg-9468 Sex

tldr: made an app to spice up the bedroom, it worked, but my partner has no idea it was created by me and I don’t know how I should mention it.

I will describe the site/app in detail however I will not link to it not only because it’s only designed for 2 people right now (literally) but also because I genuinely want advice. I describe it in detail only so you get an idea of how it’s helped us despite my failure to mention I did create it.

I am fairly certain that this will not have been covered in the wiki as it’s a bit of a weird one. My girlfriend and I have just spent a long time away from each other (3 months) and during this time I’ve been anonymously browsing this subreddit and various other subreddits to get ideas on how to spice up our love life.

We’ve been together for 4 years but we never really had the conversation about sex and what we like. It just sorta happened that we both assumed each other was vanilla in bed and went with it. For me this was far from the truth and I suspected the same for her but since sex had just sorta become this transaction that we did and then didn’t talk about I had no idea how to approach the subject.

One month in being apart after browsing here I saw sites such as mojoupgrade etc but they all assumed that each other knew exactly what each option was and how to do them. On top of that I knew the one thing we did do before was sometimes introduce online games like spin the bottle where it would suggest different things. The problem with that was the app had no idea what each of us liked so we’d often just skip out of embarrassment.

So I came about the idea of creating a site just for us that would ask us questions about certain scenarios, compare the answers, give us prompts to talk about it, give lessons on how to perform some of the acts and to set us challenges + games involving the different kinks.

I did genuinely do a ton of real research into every kink (no, not looking at porn but actually reading into everything) even if I personally did not want to as I felt it was necessary to include everything. I created around 400 prompts, categorised them into 100 different kinks (yes I know thats not all but I ran out of time writing the content), wrote ridiculous courses on things like how to give good oral (men and women), how to do anal (men and women), how to talk dirty to each other etc. My thoughts were I’d cover everything to eventually maybe release the app after “testing”. I also created games utilising these prompts like Yahtzee but you roll to get a specific action performed on you for time relating to the roll amount, truth or dare, and challenges that randomly send notifications to you prompting to do certain things for your partner (sexual and non-sexual) providing both agree. I categorised the prompts into different sections so it wouldn’t ask all 400 in one go but would start off basic and move into more kinks over the course of 10 days.

It took a couple of months but I had a basic working version with just enough design work done to look like a legitimate company had created this. In my horniness of being away from my partner I just thought it was a great idea and I didn’t really consider that perhaps it’s a bit odd to have gone to all this effort and perhaps it would upset my partner if they found out I had lied and did this without her knowledge. It of course was at the back of my mind but I just dismissed it.

It’s been a few weeks after she’s been back now. I plucked up the courage to tell her about the site immediately in terms of “Oh I saw this site on Reddit we could try out” and it went down rather well when framed like that and we answered the first set of questions and immediately saw that we both didn’t want things to stay vanilla. Not that it would have been a problem for either of us had things stayed the same just it’s good to be on the same page. We played through the games and have really worked on ourselves to be more communicative in terms of sex and our likes and even have sex more often.

The problem is, while that’s all great and I am genuinely happy things have improved for us. I can’t get past the fact that this came about on false pretences. Not only that but I do understand that since it was created by me that technically it could be controlled by me and that can be a major privacy problem for my partner that answered in private to various questions and knowing that the prompts etc were written by myself. I of course have not and will not ever look at her answers nor have I wrote the prompts in a way to get what I want specifically or even changed them since she’s been back.

But she doesn’t know that and it would require a lot of trust to be able to say for sure I wont do that. Trust that I have of course already broken by not mentioning it was me that created it in the first place. I can understand if this is something she would end up thinking about immediately and be put off entirely from even being with me.

All in all, this is a tricky situation, I don’t know how I can tell her or if telling her is the right idea. I really do not know what to do. I know I have fucked up, it’s not cheating but I understand it actually might be worse than cheating in a way.

tldr: made an app to spice up the bedroom, it worked, but my partner has no idea it was created by me and I don’t know how I should mention it.

I will describe the site/app in detail however I will not link to it not only because it’s only designed for 2 people right now (literally) but also because I genuinely want advice. I describe it in detail only so you get an idea of how it’s helped us despite my failure to mention I did create it.

I am fairly certain that this will not have been covered in the wiki as it’s a bit of a weird one. My girlfriend and I have just spent a long time away from each other (3 months) and during this time I’ve been anonymously browsing this subreddit and various other subreddits to get ideas on how to spice up our love life.

We’ve been together for 4 years but we never really had the conversation about sex and what we like. It just sorta happened that we both assumed each other was vanilla in bed and went with it. For me this was far from the truth and I suspected the same for her but since sex had just sorta become this transaction that we did and then didn’t talk about I had no idea how to approach the subject.

One month in being apart after browsing here I saw sites such as mojoupgrade etc but they all assumed that each other knew exactly what each option was and how to do them. On top of that I knew the one thing we did do before was sometimes introduce online games like spin the bottle where it would suggest different things. The problem with that was the app had no idea what each of us liked so we’d often just skip out of embarrassment.

So I came about the idea of creating a site just for us that would ask us questions about certain scenarios, compare the answers, give us prompts to talk about it, give lessons on how to perform some of the acts and to set us challenges + games involving the different kinks.

I did genuinely do a ton of real research into every kink (no, not looking at porn but actually reading into everything) even if I personally did not want to as I felt it was necessary to include everything. I created around 400 prompts, categorised them into 100 different kinks (yes I know thats not all but I ran out of time writing the content), wrote ridiculous courses on things like how to give good oral (men and women), how to do anal (men and women), how to talk dirty to each other etc. My thoughts were I’d cover everything to eventually maybe release the app after “testing”. I also created games utilising these prompts like Yahtzee but you roll to get a specific action performed on you for time relating to the roll amount, truth or dare, and challenges that randomly send notifications to you prompting to do certain things for your partner (sexual and non-sexual) providing both agree. I categorised the prompts into different sections so it wouldn’t ask all 400 in one go but would start off basic and move into more kinks over the course of 10 days.

It took a couple of months but I had a basic working version with just enough design work done to look like a legitimate company had created this. In my horniness of being away from my partner I just thought it was a great idea and I didn’t really consider that perhaps it’s a bit odd to have gone to all this effort and perhaps it would upset my partner if they found out I had lied and did this without her knowledge. It of course was at the back of my mind but I just dismissed it.

It’s been a few weeks after she’s been back now. I plucked up the courage to tell her about the site immediately in terms of “Oh I saw this site on Reddit we could try out” and it went down rather well when framed like that and we answered the first set of questions and immediately saw that we both didn’t want things to stay vanilla. Not that it would have been a problem for either of us had things stayed the same just it’s good to be on the same page. We played through the games and have really worked on ourselves to be more communicative in terms of sex and our likes and even have sex more often.

The problem is, while that’s all great and I am genuinely happy things have improved for us. I can’t get past the fact that this came about on false pretences. Not only that but I do understand that since it was created by me that technically it could be controlled by me and that can be a major privacy problem for my partner that answered in private to various questions and knowing that the prompts etc were written by myself. I of course have not and will not ever look at her answers nor have I wrote the prompts in a way to get what I want specifically or even changed them since she’s been back.

But she doesn’t know that and it would require a lot of trust to be able to say for sure I wont do that. Trust that I have of course already broken by not mentioning it was me that created it in the first place. I can understand if this is something she would end up thinking about immediately and be put off entirely from even being with me.

All in all, this is a tricky situation, I don’t know how I can tell her or if telling her is the right idea. I really do not know what to do. I know I have fucked up, it’s not cheating but I understand it actually might be worse than cheating in a way.