Me(21F) and my partner (24M) are extremely honest and open in our relationship about our thoughts/needs etc and from the start that has always made our relationship work very well. We are both pretty open at trying new things sexually and again are honest about what we like in that department. Our sex is amazing because of this but recently I explained to him that I think maybe my sex drive is slightly higher than his because I noticed that sometimes he’s not up for it when I am (which is completely fine, was just an observation). He explained that sometimes for a man it’s very tiring having sex as he is mostly doing a lot of the work and even when I’m on top doing the work he’s in his head a lot. He said that mentally he is constantly focused on pleasing me and has a lot of thoughts based around basicallt “don’t cum yet” because he can see I’m enjoying or I say something like don’t stop etc so he’s trying not to cum so that he lasts longer for me. He also said men (or the male friends he has talked to about this) tend to feel a lot of pressure to make women orgasm and he said sometimes he feels a bit disheartened if I don’t cum. I told him that for women it’s a lot harder and for me if I don’t cum it doesn’t mean I haven’t enjoyed it, and sometimes I even struggle to do it myself! He’s assured me it’s nothing I’m doing or not doing but just psychological and something kind of ingrained- and he has always felt that way with past partners too. I felt bad because I want him to be able to relax and feel pleasure without being worried about these things. I told him that during sex for me, I focus on the pleasure and how good his body feels against mine etc. I would love for him to be able to get out of his head and just enjoy it without having to ‘perform’. I wonder if anyone has felt this way too and if anyone has any advice on what we can do to work on it?
submitted by /u/violetskies611
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r/sex Me(21F) and my partner (24M) are extremely honest and open in our relationship about our thoughts/needs etc and from the start that has always made our relationship work very well. We are both pretty open at trying new things sexually and again are honest about what we like in that department. Our sex is amazing because of this but recently I explained to him that I think maybe my sex drive is slightly higher than his because I noticed that sometimes he’s not up for it when I am (which is completely fine, was just an observation). He explained that sometimes for a man it’s very tiring having sex as he is mostly doing a lot of the work and even when I’m on top doing the work he’s in his head a lot. He said that mentally he is constantly focused on pleasing me and has a lot of thoughts based around basicallt “don’t cum yet” because he can see I’m enjoying or I say something like don’t stop etc so he’s trying not to cum so that he lasts longer for me. He also said men (or the male friends he has talked to about this) tend to feel a lot of pressure to make women orgasm and he said sometimes he feels a bit disheartened if I don’t cum. I told him that for women it’s a lot harder and for me if I don’t cum it doesn’t mean I haven’t enjoyed it, and sometimes I even struggle to do it myself! He’s assured me it’s nothing I’m doing or not doing but just psychological and something kind of ingrained- and he has always felt that way with past partners too. I felt bad because I want him to be able to relax and feel pleasure without being worried about these things. I told him that during sex for me, I focus on the pleasure and how good his body feels against mine etc. I would love for him to be able to get out of his head and just enjoy it without having to ‘perform’. I wonder if anyone has felt this way too and if anyone has any advice on what we can do to work on it? submitted by /u/violetskies611 [link] [comments]
Me(21F) and my partner (24M) are extremely honest and open in our relationship about our thoughts/needs etc and from the start that has always made our relationship work very well. We are both pretty open at trying new things sexually and again are honest about what we like in that department. Our sex is amazing because of this but recently I explained to him that I think maybe my sex drive is slightly higher than his because I noticed that sometimes he’s not up for it when I am (which is completely fine, was just an observation). He explained that sometimes for a man it’s very tiring having sex as he is mostly doing a lot of the work and even when I’m on top doing the work he’s in his head a lot. He said that mentally he is constantly focused on pleasing me and has a lot of thoughts based around basicallt “don’t cum yet” because he can see I’m enjoying or I say something like don’t stop etc so he’s trying not to cum so that he lasts longer for me. He also said men (or the male friends he has talked to about this) tend to feel a lot of pressure to make women orgasm and he said sometimes he feels a bit disheartened if I don’t cum. I told him that for women it’s a lot harder and for me if I don’t cum it doesn’t mean I haven’t enjoyed it, and sometimes I even struggle to do it myself! He’s assured me it’s nothing I’m doing or not doing but just psychological and something kind of ingrained- and he has always felt that way with past partners too. I felt bad because I want him to be able to relax and feel pleasure without being worried about these things. I told him that during sex for me, I focus on the pleasure and how good his body feels against mine etc. I would love for him to be able to get out of his head and just enjoy it without having to ‘perform’. I wonder if anyone has felt this way too and if anyone has any advice on what we can do to work on it?
submitted by /u/violetskies611
[link] [comments]