Have you ever actually been able to stop a bully? /u/junkman21 No such thing as stupid questions

My friend’s kid is this awesome little 3rd grader. I found out yesterday that she gets bullied by a boy from her class on the bus and it triggered me. This is a neighborhood kid she actually hangs out with pretty regularly. Sometimes he’s cool and sometimes he’s a little turd. She said he only does it on the bus ride home so she doesn’t like to take the afternoon bus.

I asked her how she’s been handling it and she already does the stuff you would think to say.

Oh, you should ignore him. “But I’ve been trying that and he just keeps bugging me.” Tell him to stop and be firm. “That only makes it worse.” Tell the bus driver. “I already have but he ignores it.” Tell him you have had enough and change seats. “He follows me.” Ask your 5th-grade friends to tell him to shut up. “They do and he ignores them.”

???????

The bs advice you see from professionals is “tell a trusted adult,” “ignore him,” “leave the area.” The thing is, I have never seen any of that garbage ever work even once throughout my entire lifetime. That advice is written by adults who have matured and seem to be expecting mature behavior out of a misbehaving child with little control of his emotions or behavior.

IT DOES NOT WORK.

We also know that once a kid is targeted for bullying, other kids see that and think it’s okay to pick on that kid as well. And that stuff doesn’t just magically go away. It ruins friendships in the short term and self-esteem in the long term for decades to come. That is some BS and not what this kid deserves.

So, I come to you, Redditors. What will actually work short of showing her some moves and telling her to beat him and make it as bloody as possible? (I do want to stay friends with her parents!)

Edit to add:

Remember, we are talking about 3rd graders, here. 8 and 9-year-olds. The bullying has been verbal and not physical so I will likely not recommend violence. Though, I’m pretty sure her dad gave her the green light if that boy ever touches her inappropriately. It may be worth mentioning that the bully has an older special needs brother and a younger brother who’s “the baby.” While it doesn’t excuse his behavior, it may explain it a bit as I imagine his parents have their hands full and he may feel a little left out.

My friend’s kid is this awesome little 3rd grader. I found out yesterday that she gets bullied by a boy from her class on the bus and it triggered me. This is a neighborhood kid she actually hangs out with pretty regularly. Sometimes he’s cool and sometimes he’s a little turd. She said he only does it on the bus ride home so she doesn’t like to take the afternoon bus.

I asked her how she’s been handling it and she already does the stuff you would think to say.

Oh, you should ignore him. “But I’ve been trying that and he just keeps bugging me.” Tell him to stop and be firm. “That only makes it worse.” Tell the bus driver. “I already have but he ignores it.” Tell him you have had enough and change seats. “He follows me.” Ask your 5th-grade friends to tell him to shut up. “They do and he ignores them.”

???????

The bs advice you see from professionals is “tell a trusted adult,” “ignore him,” “leave the area.” The thing is, I have never seen any of that garbage ever work even once throughout my entire lifetime. That advice is written by adults who have matured and seem to be expecting mature behavior out of a misbehaving child with little control of his emotions or behavior.

IT DOES NOT WORK.

We also know that once a kid is targeted for bullying, other kids see that and think it’s okay to pick on that kid as well. And that stuff doesn’t just magically go away. It ruins friendships in the short term and self-esteem in the long term for decades to come. That is some BS and not what this kid deserves.

So, I come to you, Redditors. What will actually work short of showing her some moves and telling her to beat him and make it as bloody as possible? (I do want to stay friends with her parents!)

Edit to add:

Remember, we are talking about 3rd graders, here. 8 and 9-year-olds. The bullying has been verbal and not physical so I will likely not recommend violence. Though, I’m pretty sure her dad gave her the green light if that boy ever touches her inappropriately. It may be worth mentioning that the bully has an older special needs brother and a younger brother who’s “the baby.” While it doesn’t excuse his behavior, it may explain it a bit as I imagine his parents have their hands full and he may feel a little left out.