My relationship is devoid of passion; I am struggling /u/Conscious_Repair_599 Sex

Myself and my partner (both 20 years old) have been together almost two years. If we include long distance, it’s three years. We live together.

I feel as if I am a retired man with four children.

Our sex life is stale, languid; we can go weeks with nothing. She never makes out with me. She has gone down on me a total of 3 times ever – I go down on her as much as she allows, which is relatively seldom, but at once a month. I only get handjobs. I burn for more.

When she does engage with me, I always make her cum. It is very important to me to do so. I have read books about women’s sexual health etc, so I know what I am doing. I do a good job. But if it’s a job, I am on welfare.

We do not have penetrative sex. It hurts her. Fine by me; I never pressure her. I believe it is vaginismus; she has all symptoms. She’s dismissive when I suggest it. She tells me that she does not care. Even if it could be treatable, even if it could lead to a better sex life, she does not care. Of course, I would not pressure her into treatment ever. But her dismissiveness at the mere thought, to me, is very disheartening, and most of all, exceedingly unerotic. There is no imagination or ambition.

I am immensely frustrated. I am a person who values sex highly – as a raw form of romantic expression; a submission to passion; the only fallacy which makes complete sense.

I cannot express this to her. She shuts it down. ‘What am I supposed to do’ she says. She simply doesn’t feel the need, and is almost angered that I do.

I feel so unattractive. I feel as if I am a happenstance teddy bear who makes breakfast and occasionally is touched when the stars align.

For brevity’s sake: our life otherwise is good. I treat her very well and I enjoy doing so.

I just had to get this off my chest. I am sorry. Please, do not think of me as an animal.

Myself and my partner (both 20 years old) have been together almost two years. If we include long distance, it’s three years. We live together.

I feel as if I am a retired man with four children.

Our sex life is stale, languid; we can go weeks with nothing. She never makes out with me. She has gone down on me a total of 3 times ever – I go down on her as much as she allows, which is relatively seldom, but at once a month. I only get handjobs. I burn for more.

When she does engage with me, I always make her cum. It is very important to me to do so. I have read books about women’s sexual health etc, so I know what I am doing. I do a good job. But if it’s a job, I am on welfare.

We do not have penetrative sex. It hurts her. Fine by me; I never pressure her. I believe it is vaginismus; she has all symptoms. She’s dismissive when I suggest it. She tells me that she does not care. Even if it could be treatable, even if it could lead to a better sex life, she does not care. Of course, I would not pressure her into treatment ever. But her dismissiveness at the mere thought, to me, is very disheartening, and most of all, exceedingly unerotic. There is no imagination or ambition.

I am immensely frustrated. I am a person who values sex highly – as a raw form of romantic expression; a submission to passion; the only fallacy which makes complete sense.

I cannot express this to her. She shuts it down. ‘What am I supposed to do’ she says. She simply doesn’t feel the need, and is almost angered that I do.

I feel so unattractive. I feel as if I am a happenstance teddy bear who makes breakfast and occasionally is touched when the stars align.

For brevity’s sake: our life otherwise is good. I treat her very well and I enjoy doing so.

I just had to get this off my chest. I am sorry. Please, do not think of me as an animal.