Can’t orgasm during sex because im scared of squirting /u/NoStatistician820 Sex

I know that probably sounds ridiculous since so many ppl seem to find squirting super sexy, but I have a rlly big mental block about it and as soon as I get that “I need to pee” feeling, it is impossible for me to let go and orgasm. My fwb has told me many times that he thinks it’s sexy and to just let go, it will happen when it happens, etc. We also kinda got into some light CNC where ill try and push him off me and he just continues on my gspot, which feels crazy good but also kinda overwhelming but I enjoy that feeling weirdly, it puts me in a certain headspace I cant rlly describe lol. (we also have a safe word, he’s not just pushing my boundaries without consent like it turns me on and I know I can actually stop it if I needed to). Point is, I know he tries really hard to make me cum and I want to for him but the way he touches me I feel like I’m about to pee myself if I cum, which I dont want to. And I only get that feeling through g-spot/internal stimulation like from regular penetration. When I masturbate by focussing on my clit I never get that pee feeling, and whenever he focusses on my clit I dont get that pee feeling. but tbh, whenever I get close to orgasm from clitoral stimulation he usually ends up pushing a finger inside of me bc he likes how I react, but then it quickly switches from “im about to cum” to “im about to pee” which, is a problem. its really confusing because it feels so good but I just can’t let myself let that happen in front of him, feels like a total mental block. I guess this is more a rant, somewhat stressful aspect of my sex life. I really like having sex with him but I feel like I’m really disappointing to him in this way, which just makes it harder for me to let go :(.

I know that probably sounds ridiculous since so many ppl seem to find squirting super sexy, but I have a rlly big mental block about it and as soon as I get that “I need to pee” feeling, it is impossible for me to let go and orgasm. My fwb has told me many times that he thinks it’s sexy and to just let go, it will happen when it happens, etc. We also kinda got into some light CNC where ill try and push him off me and he just continues on my gspot, which feels crazy good but also kinda overwhelming but I enjoy that feeling weirdly, it puts me in a certain headspace I cant rlly describe lol. (we also have a safe word, he’s not just pushing my boundaries without consent like it turns me on and I know I can actually stop it if I needed to). Point is, I know he tries really hard to make me cum and I want to for him but the way he touches me I feel like I’m about to pee myself if I cum, which I dont want to. And I only get that feeling through g-spot/internal stimulation like from regular penetration. When I masturbate by focussing on my clit I never get that pee feeling, and whenever he focusses on my clit I dont get that pee feeling. but tbh, whenever I get close to orgasm from clitoral stimulation he usually ends up pushing a finger inside of me bc he likes how I react, but then it quickly switches from “im about to cum” to “im about to pee” which, is a problem. its really confusing because it feels so good but I just can’t let myself let that happen in front of him, feels like a total mental block. I guess this is more a rant, somewhat stressful aspect of my sex life. I really like having sex with him but I feel like I’m really disappointing to him in this way, which just makes it harder for me to let go :(.