Issues with intimacy with boyfriend. /u/betabetabetafish Sex

My boyfriend [28M] and I [24F] have a somewhat good sex life. We have sex regularly, but I am often more times unsatisfied with the end result and I have voiced my concerns with him.

I unfortunately am the unlucky gal that is unable to cum via penetration, and find using a vibrator for clitoral stimulation uncomfortable during intercourse. I proposed using it during foreplay while we engage in other stuff, such as handjobs, blowjobs, kissing, touching and even watching porn together. He tells me that it is awkward, and doesn’t like doing it. He doesnt feel as if hes participating, which is why I tried to include him using the aforementioned ideas (blowjobs, porn, etc) together.

Therefore, If I want to cum, I have to endure awkwardness on his end If I want good sex afterwards. I don’t know what to do.

Additionally, he cums very quickly and isnt passionate. It feels like he just uses me as a “release” to orgasm and thats it. In the beginning of our relationship, he was able to last much longer, and was MUCH more passionate. I’m talking dim lighting, candles, sexy music, for 45 mins to 1 hour. It was the best sex of my life

While I still enjoy our sex, it’s too fast. Theres barely any foreplay, passion, kissing, and he just goes straight to intercourse very rapidly and quick which results in him orgasming much faster. It doesn’t make sex super enjoyable for me because it’s done with minimal passion, and I rarely get the opportunity to cum.

We also are on weird schedules when we like to have sex. He’s a morning/afternoon person, and I LOVE sex at night time. We never have sex at night anymore because he tells me he is just not in the mood, but I informed him that I still enjoy it in the daytime. I just sometimes prefer it at night!

He also seems to never engage unless I do. I’ve told him that I’m up for sex at any time of the day, but I can’t always be the one making the moves! Which I do 90% of the time. We wouldn’t be having the amount of sex if it wasn’t for me initiating it as often as I do. I know he is very attracted to me. Kissing me for more than 10 seconds will result in an erection, and even when I ask lets go have fun, he’ll decline and just say “Sometimes I just get boners, and am just not in the mood!” i have trouble understanding that.

I just miss the passion involved during sex, and I wish he cared more about my orgasm than just his own.

I also want to really want to talk about my fetishes that I have, but I am nervous. I brought it up very briefly and shortly earlier on, but I’ve been having the need to ask him to engage in it more. But hes VERY awkward in bed sometimes. Like cracking jokes and making other odd side bar conversation like he’s nervous to have sex with me. I really get off on appraisal, slight dirty talk, words of encouragement, all that fun stuff. I also love when hes vocal, but unfortunately hes very quiet throughout our sex. How can I talk to him about this when hes very shy/awkward during sex sometimes?

My boyfriend [28M] and I [24F] have a somewhat good sex life. We have sex regularly, but I am often more times unsatisfied with the end result and I have voiced my concerns with him.

I unfortunately am the unlucky gal that is unable to cum via penetration, and find using a vibrator for clitoral stimulation uncomfortable during intercourse. I proposed using it during foreplay while we engage in other stuff, such as handjobs, blowjobs, kissing, touching and even watching porn together. He tells me that it is awkward, and doesn’t like doing it. He doesnt feel as if hes participating, which is why I tried to include him using the aforementioned ideas (blowjobs, porn, etc) together.

Therefore, If I want to cum, I have to endure awkwardness on his end If I want good sex afterwards. I don’t know what to do.

Additionally, he cums very quickly and isnt passionate. It feels like he just uses me as a “release” to orgasm and thats it. In the beginning of our relationship, he was able to last much longer, and was MUCH more passionate. I’m talking dim lighting, candles, sexy music, for 45 mins to 1 hour. It was the best sex of my life

While I still enjoy our sex, it’s too fast. Theres barely any foreplay, passion, kissing, and he just goes straight to intercourse very rapidly and quick which results in him orgasming much faster. It doesn’t make sex super enjoyable for me because it’s done with minimal passion, and I rarely get the opportunity to cum.

We also are on weird schedules when we like to have sex. He’s a morning/afternoon person, and I LOVE sex at night time. We never have sex at night anymore because he tells me he is just not in the mood, but I informed him that I still enjoy it in the daytime. I just sometimes prefer it at night!

He also seems to never engage unless I do. I’ve told him that I’m up for sex at any time of the day, but I can’t always be the one making the moves! Which I do 90% of the time. We wouldn’t be having the amount of sex if it wasn’t for me initiating it as often as I do. I know he is very attracted to me. Kissing me for more than 10 seconds will result in an erection, and even when I ask lets go have fun, he’ll decline and just say “Sometimes I just get boners, and am just not in the mood!” i have trouble understanding that.

I just miss the passion involved during sex, and I wish he cared more about my orgasm than just his own.

I also want to really want to talk about my fetishes that I have, but I am nervous. I brought it up very briefly and shortly earlier on, but I’ve been having the need to ask him to engage in it more. But hes VERY awkward in bed sometimes. Like cracking jokes and making other odd side bar conversation like he’s nervous to have sex with me. I really get off on appraisal, slight dirty talk, words of encouragement, all that fun stuff. I also love when hes vocal, but unfortunately hes very quiet throughout our sex. How can I talk to him about this when hes very shy/awkward during sex sometimes?