I need to know if the way I feel is ok. /u/llustforlucas Sex

Me (24M) and my girlfriend (23F) are together for a little more than a year now (a year and 4 months, to be more specific). I love this woman more than anything.

When we officialized our relationship back in 2021 she told me she never had sex before, as she never felt comfortable to go beyond kisses with anyone. I told her it’s ok and that I would never pressure her and that I would respect her time. For the next year we did everything except PIV, just kissing, fingering, sucking, just using our fingers and mouth, no penetration. I never tried anything, not even brought up the subject of trying PIV, because what we are doing is cool to me, and whenever she’d feel like it, we could try going further. Sometimes she would tell me she was afraid it would hurt, which I would respond saying I would do everything to not hurt her and go as slow as possible.

She said she wanted to try with the fingers first, and we did it.

Sometime ago we were laying down after the deed and I asked her if we should just try doing PIV, because I don’t think there would be a day where she would feel ready for it, we just had to try. She agreed with me.

Last week I asked once again if we should try it. She said nothing for a second, but then nodded in agreement. Ok, I went and bought condoms for the next time she’d come.

This weekend I showed her the condoms and told her I bought it cause she said we should try going further. She said that it wasn’t much about pain, but she was afraid of the condom breaking and getting pregnant. I asked her about birth control, she said she doesn’t want to take it because it’s not good for the body. She then said she was thinking about other contraception methods, like IUD, but didn’t specify. Ok.

Yesterday I approached her and asked her if we were going to see this together, as it is something I didn’t want to fall into forgetfulness, otherwise we could go years without talking about it and there’s no need for that since we both want it. She got mad and said I was pressuring her.

Later we talked and she said she wanted to see it in her own time, to which I said “ok then, now I get it. I thought we would start trying it, but you never said you wanted to wait.” I apologized to her for making her feel pressured.

We are good now, but I just feel sad about the whole thing. I’ll always respect her and wait for as long as she wants, but I really thought we were taking the next step now. Like I said before, I don’t think there’s going to be a time where she feels ready to do it, we just have to try. And she “wanting to see it in her own time” just means that she won’t ever talk about it again.

The truth is that sex without penetration isn’t the best to me. I feel like everytime we go to bed she ends up orgasming, with just mouth and fingers, but not me, I rarely do.

Is it understandable that I feel down?

Me (24M) and my girlfriend (23F) are together for a little more than a year now (a year and 4 months, to be more specific). I love this woman more than anything.

When we officialized our relationship back in 2021 she told me she never had sex before, as she never felt comfortable to go beyond kisses with anyone. I told her it’s ok and that I would never pressure her and that I would respect her time. For the next year we did everything except PIV, just kissing, fingering, sucking, just using our fingers and mouth, no penetration. I never tried anything, not even brought up the subject of trying PIV, because what we are doing is cool to me, and whenever she’d feel like it, we could try going further. Sometimes she would tell me she was afraid it would hurt, which I would respond saying I would do everything to not hurt her and go as slow as possible.

She said she wanted to try with the fingers first, and we did it.

Sometime ago we were laying down after the deed and I asked her if we should just try doing PIV, because I don’t think there would be a day where she would feel ready for it, we just had to try. She agreed with me.

Last week I asked once again if we should try it. She said nothing for a second, but then nodded in agreement. Ok, I went and bought condoms for the next time she’d come.

This weekend I showed her the condoms and told her I bought it cause she said we should try going further. She said that it wasn’t much about pain, but she was afraid of the condom breaking and getting pregnant. I asked her about birth control, she said she doesn’t want to take it because it’s not good for the body. She then said she was thinking about other contraception methods, like IUD, but didn’t specify. Ok.

Yesterday I approached her and asked her if we were going to see this together, as it is something I didn’t want to fall into forgetfulness, otherwise we could go years without talking about it and there’s no need for that since we both want it. She got mad and said I was pressuring her.

Later we talked and she said she wanted to see it in her own time, to which I said “ok then, now I get it. I thought we would start trying it, but you never said you wanted to wait.” I apologized to her for making her feel pressured.

We are good now, but I just feel sad about the whole thing. I’ll always respect her and wait for as long as she wants, but I really thought we were taking the next step now. Like I said before, I don’t think there’s going to be a time where she feels ready to do it, we just have to try. And she “wanting to see it in her own time” just means that she won’t ever talk about it again.

The truth is that sex without penetration isn’t the best to me. I feel like everytime we go to bed she ends up orgasming, with just mouth and fingers, but not me, I rarely do.

Is it understandable that I feel down?