How to approach & maintain confidence during sex with my Wife? /u/My_Little_Xsistance Sex

M39. Since 2018 I’ve been struggling a bit with the fact that my wife F38 cheated. Now, I believe she has cheated on me a few times and even the one I caught her still says nothing happened. Texts were deleted, the story is vague, doesn’t line up or make sense. Now let’s fast forward to 2022 on Christmas day. Note; we have been separated for half to most of these last 2 yrs. Social media, another phone, emails and such I have had no access to since 2018. Not even so much as a friend request/follow. Anyway, back to xmas night 2022. The guy she cheated with that I caught her with, calls me at 1am to tell me that he loves her, just pouring it out. I’m like why did you call me? That sounds like you need to call her and confess your love. So I hung up. Next morning I text him to tell him how disrespectful and out of line he was. We finally started talking and one thing he said to me about the night of 2018. He asked my wife “when is the last time you had good sex?” She replied “Not in a very long time…” 😟 I have brought it up to her. She stated, “I am not that person anymore” ??? Ok… That was never brought up before, she said a totally different story all these years. There is more, I mean what did they do just stare at each other???

Well… Since then, that has fucked with my head and heart so much. We are doing good right now as a couple but it’s like I have to just forget it all. Like it was not a big deal. Like they accidentally ran into each other in his house with no motives at all.

I need help. I want to be able to have confidence in my love making to her. Because I put my heart and soul into it every time. Lately, I am having a hard time with that. I mean i’m not considered “good sex” what can I do? I mean I still love her. I forgive her for even things I don’t know.

M39. Since 2018 I’ve been struggling a bit with the fact that my wife F38 cheated. Now, I believe she has cheated on me a few times and even the one I caught her still says nothing happened. Texts were deleted, the story is vague, doesn’t line up or make sense. Now let’s fast forward to 2022 on Christmas day. Note; we have been separated for half to most of these last 2 yrs. Social media, another phone, emails and such I have had no access to since 2018. Not even so much as a friend request/follow. Anyway, back to xmas night 2022. The guy she cheated with that I caught her with, calls me at 1am to tell me that he loves her, just pouring it out. I’m like why did you call me? That sounds like you need to call her and confess your love. So I hung up. Next morning I text him to tell him how disrespectful and out of line he was. We finally started talking and one thing he said to me about the night of 2018. He asked my wife “when is the last time you had good sex?” She replied “Not in a very long time…” 😟 I have brought it up to her. She stated, “I am not that person anymore” ??? Ok… That was never brought up before, she said a totally different story all these years. There is more, I mean what did they do just stare at each other???

Well… Since then, that has fucked with my head and heart so much. We are doing good right now as a couple but it’s like I have to just forget it all. Like it was not a big deal. Like they accidentally ran into each other in his house with no motives at all.

I need help. I want to be able to have confidence in my love making to her. Because I put my heart and soul into it every time. Lately, I am having a hard time with that. I mean i’m not considered “good sex” what can I do? I mean I still love her. I forgive her for even things I don’t know.