Hey r/Sex, I’m in desperate need of help. So I’ve been single for a while after breaking up with my ex and a few months ago I met an amazing girl who I’m very on the same wavelength with and have grown very fond of. We take the relationship slowly, wanting to get to know each other personally and physically. There’s only one problem:
We don’t have sex because I keep losing my erection.
I don’t watch porn and don’t think it’s a physical issue (but will check next week for blood results anyway). I have no problems with masturbation solo nor while we’re making out, it’s always that moment between putting on the condom and entering that makes me nervous and go limb. I’m sure it’s performance anxiety, but I’ve tried many things to get a handle on it and nothing helps. Trying to stop worrying, to allow myself to feel that nervousness, to discuss my concerns with her, to have a drink beforehand to clear my head… We’ve tried it seven times now, and I’ve failed every time. As much as I try to tell myself it’s okay and it’s not my fault, I always feel extremely crappy and unmanly afterwards. I’m also more sexually experienced than her, so she doesn’t know what to do either, and even though she tells me every time that it’s okay and that I shouldn’t stress myself, I notice the disappointment that follows every time.
I’m now almost terrified of trying again as those failures are so burned into my mind. I see no solution to break out of this vicious circle. I’ve been thinking about taking artificial supplements and performance enhancers lately to make sure it works, but at 22 I feel too young for it and I’m afraid I’ll be even less able to do without afterwards.
Please, you have to help me. I don’t want to lose her, not being able to perform takes a massive amount of joy out of my life and I’m desperate because I can’t ask anyone for help about this. I think about it every day. Even if she leaves me because of this, I think the trauma would only get worse for any woman I met afterwards. I’ll take any advice I can
submitted by /u/throwORAORAORAway
[link] [comments]
r/sex Hey r/Sex, I’m in desperate need of help. So I’ve been single for a while after breaking up with my ex and a few months ago I met an amazing girl who I’m very on the same wavelength with and have grown very fond of. We take the relationship slowly, wanting to get to know each other personally and physically. There’s only one problem: We don’t have sex because I keep losing my erection. I don’t watch porn and don’t think it’s a physical issue (but will check next week for blood results anyway). I have no problems with masturbation solo nor while we’re making out, it’s always that moment between putting on the condom and entering that makes me nervous and go limb. I’m sure it’s performance anxiety, but I’ve tried many things to get a handle on it and nothing helps. Trying to stop worrying, to allow myself to feel that nervousness, to discuss my concerns with her, to have a drink beforehand to clear my head… We’ve tried it seven times now, and I’ve failed every time. As much as I try to tell myself it’s okay and it’s not my fault, I always feel extremely crappy and unmanly afterwards. I’m also more sexually experienced than her, so she doesn’t know what to do either, and even though she tells me every time that it’s okay and that I shouldn’t stress myself, I notice the disappointment that follows every time. I’m now almost terrified of trying again as those failures are so burned into my mind. I see no solution to break out of this vicious circle. I’ve been thinking about taking artificial supplements and performance enhancers lately to make sure it works, but at 22 I feel too young for it and I’m afraid I’ll be even less able to do without afterwards. Please, you have to help me. I don’t want to lose her, not being able to perform takes a massive amount of joy out of my life and I’m desperate because I can’t ask anyone for help about this. I think about it every day. Even if she leaves me because of this, I think the trauma would only get worse for any woman I met afterwards. I’ll take any advice I can submitted by /u/throwORAORAORAway [link] [comments]
Hey r/Sex, I’m in desperate need of help. So I’ve been single for a while after breaking up with my ex and a few months ago I met an amazing girl who I’m very on the same wavelength with and have grown very fond of. We take the relationship slowly, wanting to get to know each other personally and physically. There’s only one problem:
We don’t have sex because I keep losing my erection.
I don’t watch porn and don’t think it’s a physical issue (but will check next week for blood results anyway). I have no problems with masturbation solo nor while we’re making out, it’s always that moment between putting on the condom and entering that makes me nervous and go limb. I’m sure it’s performance anxiety, but I’ve tried many things to get a handle on it and nothing helps. Trying to stop worrying, to allow myself to feel that nervousness, to discuss my concerns with her, to have a drink beforehand to clear my head… We’ve tried it seven times now, and I’ve failed every time. As much as I try to tell myself it’s okay and it’s not my fault, I always feel extremely crappy and unmanly afterwards. I’m also more sexually experienced than her, so she doesn’t know what to do either, and even though she tells me every time that it’s okay and that I shouldn’t stress myself, I notice the disappointment that follows every time.
I’m now almost terrified of trying again as those failures are so burned into my mind. I see no solution to break out of this vicious circle. I’ve been thinking about taking artificial supplements and performance enhancers lately to make sure it works, but at 22 I feel too young for it and I’m afraid I’ll be even less able to do without afterwards.
Please, you have to help me. I don’t want to lose her, not being able to perform takes a massive amount of joy out of my life and I’m desperate because I can’t ask anyone for help about this. I think about it every day. Even if she leaves me because of this, I think the trauma would only get worse for any woman I met afterwards. I’ll take any advice I can
submitted by /u/throwORAORAORAway
[link] [comments]