my boyfriend is quiet in bed and it’s turning me off /u/Few-Sheepherder-2988 Sex

throwaway account, 20F. I’ll try keep it short.

I’ve always enjoyed men being audible in bed – i loved nsfw audios for that reason, and never enjoyed nsfw content where the guy is silent. i also love sex, i have a high libido, so this issue isnt a lack of interest in sex. i also haven’t listened to those audios or nsfw content at all in like..a year? so it’s not like a porn addiction or something. i masturbate just fine too.

my boyfriend is just really silent. my partners before at least made some noise, and i guess i didnt really understand how important that was to me until now. i feel so awkward and bored during sex when he’s quiet, it doesnt excite me, i don’t feel desired. it doesn’t really feel intimate, or like we’re having sex, and because he’s quiet i feel self conscious making noise. in short it just really dampens my enjoyment of sex, i get aroused but i cant really orgasm or get really excited with him. just “yeah it feels nice but its so awkward id rather masturbate”. and i feel bad thinking like that during sex

firstly yes i have communicated to him! i tried to come up with anything like dirty talking he might like – but he just said he feels uncomfortable making noise or talking during sex beyond like “is this okay?” kind of thing. which i understand, and i dont want to push him into something that ruins it for him. he’s very sweet and we talk openly, but neither of us can think of anything.

and for example i usually love giving a guy oral or handjobs, but its so..awkward when he’s quiet and barely reacting. and he says it feels good, but i worry it’s not, and withouy any sign he’s turned on i dont find it as arousing as usual.

i think i just need clear signs the guy is turned on to enjoy it and talking during sex, because obviously like most people im excited by my partner being excited, and while for me noise is the main way of me seeing it he’s uncomfortable with that, so im trying to think of other things that could give me the same response. sex silently occasionally with a partner that’s usually making noise is okay, but when they’re always quiet apparently i just don’t like it.

to anyone who’s had a similar issue, how did you overcome it? he’s a really nice guy, and it’s still early in the relationship, i really want to try make it work. it feels silly to say “im breaking up with you because you don’t moan in bed”, but equally im just struggling to enjoy sex much.

i hope i made sense! I’ve never really had a major sexual incompatibility issue like this before, so im not really sure how to go about it lol.

throwaway account, 20F. I’ll try keep it short.

I’ve always enjoyed men being audible in bed – i loved nsfw audios for that reason, and never enjoyed nsfw content where the guy is silent. i also love sex, i have a high libido, so this issue isnt a lack of interest in sex. i also haven’t listened to those audios or nsfw content at all in like..a year? so it’s not like a porn addiction or something. i masturbate just fine too.

my boyfriend is just really silent. my partners before at least made some noise, and i guess i didnt really understand how important that was to me until now. i feel so awkward and bored during sex when he’s quiet, it doesnt excite me, i don’t feel desired. it doesn’t really feel intimate, or like we’re having sex, and because he’s quiet i feel self conscious making noise. in short it just really dampens my enjoyment of sex, i get aroused but i cant really orgasm or get really excited with him. just “yeah it feels nice but its so awkward id rather masturbate”. and i feel bad thinking like that during sex

firstly yes i have communicated to him! i tried to come up with anything like dirty talking he might like – but he just said he feels uncomfortable making noise or talking during sex beyond like “is this okay?” kind of thing. which i understand, and i dont want to push him into something that ruins it for him. he’s very sweet and we talk openly, but neither of us can think of anything.

and for example i usually love giving a guy oral or handjobs, but its so..awkward when he’s quiet and barely reacting. and he says it feels good, but i worry it’s not, and withouy any sign he’s turned on i dont find it as arousing as usual.

i think i just need clear signs the guy is turned on to enjoy it and talking during sex, because obviously like most people im excited by my partner being excited, and while for me noise is the main way of me seeing it he’s uncomfortable with that, so im trying to think of other things that could give me the same response. sex silently occasionally with a partner that’s usually making noise is okay, but when they’re always quiet apparently i just don’t like it.

to anyone who’s had a similar issue, how did you overcome it? he’s a really nice guy, and it’s still early in the relationship, i really want to try make it work. it feels silly to say “im breaking up with you because you don’t moan in bed”, but equally im just struggling to enjoy sex much.

i hope i made sense! I’ve never really had a major sexual incompatibility issue like this before, so im not really sure how to go about it lol.