I don’t know how my partner feels about me sexually /u/Consistent_Warning_5 Sex

Before we begin please note im writing this in both and emptional and very tired state so of it feels hostile, foolish or simply like im throwing a pity party please factor these in and thank you for your time

In general sex is something that doesn’t really enter her (f34) mind very often. She has often admitted that it just isn’t really a thought she has (barring baseline attraction to people but that is quite different). She isn’t asexual or anything of the sort she just doesn’t really consider it or naturally feel it strongly on a common basis

She often tells me I could do a massiveyriad of things to help make her feel more sexually inclined but at nearly any opportunity I take they are declined. She says she doesn’t want me to feel neglected and I believe her but it can be hard to really believe all the time

She often has stories about how her exes and her used to do this and that or how her exes and her had these passionate and intimate sexual experiences and when I compare it to the fact that she rarely (every few months) even seems to hotels want anything sexual from me it just feels… I dont know, like I’m being robbed by the past itself? That sounds awful but I’m too tired to think of a better way to phrase it. I’m not mad that she has had these experiences, her higher level of experience is not only her own business and right but has proven invaluable quite a few times between the two of us. I guess I just don’t like hearing about it and seeing how happy those memories make her whike simultaneously feeling like I have to beg and plead simply to be looked at. Again this all sounds bad I know

When I do get her to engage with me it either requires me to devote nearly all my free time for weeks upon weeks to get there or beg and point out that I feel hurt and neglected by the fact that it has been 8 weeks and every attempt at physical connection has gotten denied qnd how every assurance of connection forgotten about

I dont want it to be like this and don’t know how to get it across to her how much this hurts me to feel this… unwanted so often without seeming over emotional (she’s not good with strong emotions). I am not looking for her to acter to my every whim or to suddenly match my libido, that is ridiculous and unfair but it would be nice to just feel like she does want me without having to resort to such lengthy or emotionally charged (and frankly manipulative even if true) tactics

I know she loves me, believe me she proves it all the time with practically every other thing she does but when it comes to this she just has a hard time doing anything. I feel bad for wanting these things and at the same time feel like I shouldn’t have to. We’ve been together for 4 years now and I’m just tired of feeling unwanted

I would like to know how to speak with her about a healthy increase in sexual (and just physical in general) intimacy without feeling whiny, manipulative or aggressive (in any form)

Thank you again to anyone who bothered to read through all of this and I’m sorry for how much self pity has been forced upon you

Before we begin please note im writing this in both and emptional and very tired state so of it feels hostile, foolish or simply like im throwing a pity party please factor these in and thank you for your time

In general sex is something that doesn’t really enter her (f34) mind very often. She has often admitted that it just isn’t really a thought she has (barring baseline attraction to people but that is quite different). She isn’t asexual or anything of the sort she just doesn’t really consider it or naturally feel it strongly on a common basis

She often tells me I could do a massiveyriad of things to help make her feel more sexually inclined but at nearly any opportunity I take they are declined. She says she doesn’t want me to feel neglected and I believe her but it can be hard to really believe all the time

She often has stories about how her exes and her used to do this and that or how her exes and her had these passionate and intimate sexual experiences and when I compare it to the fact that she rarely (every few months) even seems to hotels want anything sexual from me it just feels… I dont know, like I’m being robbed by the past itself? That sounds awful but I’m too tired to think of a better way to phrase it. I’m not mad that she has had these experiences, her higher level of experience is not only her own business and right but has proven invaluable quite a few times between the two of us. I guess I just don’t like hearing about it and seeing how happy those memories make her whike simultaneously feeling like I have to beg and plead simply to be looked at. Again this all sounds bad I know

When I do get her to engage with me it either requires me to devote nearly all my free time for weeks upon weeks to get there or beg and point out that I feel hurt and neglected by the fact that it has been 8 weeks and every attempt at physical connection has gotten denied qnd how every assurance of connection forgotten about

I dont want it to be like this and don’t know how to get it across to her how much this hurts me to feel this… unwanted so often without seeming over emotional (she’s not good with strong emotions). I am not looking for her to acter to my every whim or to suddenly match my libido, that is ridiculous and unfair but it would be nice to just feel like she does want me without having to resort to such lengthy or emotionally charged (and frankly manipulative even if true) tactics

I know she loves me, believe me she proves it all the time with practically every other thing she does but when it comes to this she just has a hard time doing anything. I feel bad for wanting these things and at the same time feel like I shouldn’t have to. We’ve been together for 4 years now and I’m just tired of feeling unwanted

I would like to know how to speak with her about a healthy increase in sexual (and just physical in general) intimacy without feeling whiny, manipulative or aggressive (in any form)

Thank you again to anyone who bothered to read through all of this and I’m sorry for how much self pity has been forced upon you