Breaking hubby out of shell /u/Regular-Intern-9356 Sex

I need some advise. I’ve been married to my hubby for 8 years, together for 10. Our sex life has always been fairly vanilla. Talk of trying anything new have usually been met with a joke on his end, like “maybe for Christmas”, but then the time never comes.

Recently I told him I want a threesome for my birthday in March, and he joked, “maybe for fourth of July” 🙄. I broke down into tears, and called him out on always pushing things, and not being willing to try anything. I told him I really did want a threesome. He got quiet, kids were nearby, so it was dropped.

Later that night we talked about it a bit again and he mentioned he had jealousy issues and has read about how adding people to marriages is how you ruin them. He also called out that my birthday feels really soon for him and that was scary (beginning of March), which I said was fair.

People of reddit: how do I talk to my hubby about wanting a threesome and more in our sex life because it turns me on, and not because there is any problem with him? Down the road, I’d love love to try swinging. Again, not because there’s a problem with him, but the thought of swinging turns me on. Am I just screwed? Is there a way I can talk to him about this that might help him feel secure and drive home that I want to experience it with him because it is a turn on for me?

I need some advise. I’ve been married to my hubby for 8 years, together for 10. Our sex life has always been fairly vanilla. Talk of trying anything new have usually been met with a joke on his end, like “maybe for Christmas”, but then the time never comes.

Recently I told him I want a threesome for my birthday in March, and he joked, “maybe for fourth of July” 🙄. I broke down into tears, and called him out on always pushing things, and not being willing to try anything. I told him I really did want a threesome. He got quiet, kids were nearby, so it was dropped.

Later that night we talked about it a bit again and he mentioned he had jealousy issues and has read about how adding people to marriages is how you ruin them. He also called out that my birthday feels really soon for him and that was scary (beginning of March), which I said was fair.

People of reddit: how do I talk to my hubby about wanting a threesome and more in our sex life because it turns me on, and not because there is any problem with him? Down the road, I’d love love to try swinging. Again, not because there’s a problem with him, but the thought of swinging turns me on. Am I just screwed? Is there a way I can talk to him about this that might help him feel secure and drive home that I want to experience it with him because it is a turn on for me?