My (34F) husband (47M) has recently become upset that I’m “not as horny” as I used to be. This is true and the reason for this is that he rushes foreplay in order to just get to penetration.
If I don’t have enough foreplay (and I do need like 15mins of it), sex hurts for me. It feels like I’m being split open and I get micro tears around the opening. With sufficient foreplay, this does not happen. I also, like many women, can’t cum from penetration directly. He openly admits that he doesn’t want me to cum before penetration either because it “makes me looser”. I find this such a turn off….because it’s like hed rather me not come at all and for it to hurt me, just for it to feel nicer for him. I will add that he has trouble cumming due to SSRI usage.
The other issue is that when it comes to foreplay, hes either not really participating at all (lies back on the bed with his eyes shut and hands behind his head relaxing, expecting me to touch/suck him and sort myself out too)…..or his foreplay is too rough, he aggressively rubs my vagina, which does not feel nice, and he gets annoyed when I repeatedly say “gentle” and shy away from his hands touching me there. I’ve tried communicating this to him but he gets offended and then tells me that his past partners haven’t complained or needed this much foreplay. This turns me off worse.
Am I expecting too much? It does seem like lots of women can just get kissed and be ready to go. What can I do to make this better?
submitted by /u/Last_Wonder
[link] [comments]
r/sex My (34F) husband (47M) has recently become upset that I’m “not as horny” as I used to be. This is true and the reason for this is that he rushes foreplay in order to just get to penetration. If I don’t have enough foreplay (and I do need like 15mins of it), sex hurts for me. It feels like I’m being split open and I get micro tears around the opening. With sufficient foreplay, this does not happen. I also, like many women, can’t cum from penetration directly. He openly admits that he doesn’t want me to cum before penetration either because it “makes me looser”. I find this such a turn off….because it’s like hed rather me not come at all and for it to hurt me, just for it to feel nicer for him. I will add that he has trouble cumming due to SSRI usage. The other issue is that when it comes to foreplay, hes either not really participating at all (lies back on the bed with his eyes shut and hands behind his head relaxing, expecting me to touch/suck him and sort myself out too)…..or his foreplay is too rough, he aggressively rubs my vagina, which does not feel nice, and he gets annoyed when I repeatedly say “gentle” and shy away from his hands touching me there. I’ve tried communicating this to him but he gets offended and then tells me that his past partners haven’t complained or needed this much foreplay. This turns me off worse. Am I expecting too much? It does seem like lots of women can just get kissed and be ready to go. What can I do to make this better? submitted by /u/Last_Wonder [link] [comments]
My (34F) husband (47M) has recently become upset that I’m “not as horny” as I used to be. This is true and the reason for this is that he rushes foreplay in order to just get to penetration.
If I don’t have enough foreplay (and I do need like 15mins of it), sex hurts for me. It feels like I’m being split open and I get micro tears around the opening. With sufficient foreplay, this does not happen. I also, like many women, can’t cum from penetration directly. He openly admits that he doesn’t want me to cum before penetration either because it “makes me looser”. I find this such a turn off….because it’s like hed rather me not come at all and for it to hurt me, just for it to feel nicer for him. I will add that he has trouble cumming due to SSRI usage.
The other issue is that when it comes to foreplay, hes either not really participating at all (lies back on the bed with his eyes shut and hands behind his head relaxing, expecting me to touch/suck him and sort myself out too)…..or his foreplay is too rough, he aggressively rubs my vagina, which does not feel nice, and he gets annoyed when I repeatedly say “gentle” and shy away from his hands touching me there. I’ve tried communicating this to him but he gets offended and then tells me that his past partners haven’t complained or needed this much foreplay. This turns me off worse.
Am I expecting too much? It does seem like lots of women can just get kissed and be ready to go. What can I do to make this better?
submitted by /u/Last_Wonder
[link] [comments]