I (22F) have been with my boyfriend (22M) for almost 2 months. We recently had a conversation regarding boundaries and where is ok to touch (nobody crossed any boundaries, we just wanted to communicate ahead of time), and we talked about our attitudes towards sex as well.
We’re both virgins, but when that came up in conversation, he told me he wanted to stay that way for the “foreseeable future”, and that he wants to wait until after he gets married to have sex. I kind of felt my heart sink when he said that. I absolutely was not expecting us to jump right into penetrative sex, especially as virgins and only after 2 months, but I wasn’t prepared for him to say he wants to wait that long.
He went on to explain that although he’s not religious, he views sex as the ultimate vulnerability between partners, and that he wants to only do that with someone he knows he’ll be spending the rest of his life with. It makes a lot of sense, and I agree that sex is being extremely vulnerable with someone, but I honestly think he’s thinking of sex/virginity as something you should only “give” to your destined romantic partner.
For more (important) context, he has never had proper sex ed, and nobody in his family ever gave him “the sex talk”, so the only reason he knows anything about sex at all is from snippets of the internet and other people’s conversation. In my opinion, this leaves a LOT of space for a LOT of misconceptions about sex, why people do it, why it’s normal and ok, and most importantly, how he really feels about it.
The way he talks about it sounds like someone who has experienced sexual attraction (especially to me), but is denying himself because he views virginity as this insanely important thing you should only be losing to someone you’re married to.
I absolutely don’t want to cross any of his boundaries, and I feel so guilty for being upset about this, because I don’t want to force him/coerce him into doing things he’s not comfortable with. I just can’t help but feel like he only feels this way because he’s misinformed about sex as an act and concept.
What should I even do? I really like him, and we pair so well together otherwise, so I don’t want to just break up.
TL/DR: My boyfriend and I are virgins, I want to have sex, but he wants to wait until marriage. He’s had no proper sex ed and no sex positive people around, and I feel like he only wants to wait because he’s never been educated properly. What should I do?
submitted by /u/ginge_rpie
[link] [comments]
r/sex I (22F) have been with my boyfriend (22M) for almost 2 months. We recently had a conversation regarding boundaries and where is ok to touch (nobody crossed any boundaries, we just wanted to communicate ahead of time), and we talked about our attitudes towards sex as well. We’re both virgins, but when that came up in conversation, he told me he wanted to stay that way for the “foreseeable future”, and that he wants to wait until after he gets married to have sex. I kind of felt my heart sink when he said that. I absolutely was not expecting us to jump right into penetrative sex, especially as virgins and only after 2 months, but I wasn’t prepared for him to say he wants to wait that long. He went on to explain that although he’s not religious, he views sex as the ultimate vulnerability between partners, and that he wants to only do that with someone he knows he’ll be spending the rest of his life with. It makes a lot of sense, and I agree that sex is being extremely vulnerable with someone, but I honestly think he’s thinking of sex/virginity as something you should only “give” to your destined romantic partner. For more (important) context, he has never had proper sex ed, and nobody in his family ever gave him “the sex talk”, so the only reason he knows anything about sex at all is from snippets of the internet and other people’s conversation. In my opinion, this leaves a LOT of space for a LOT of misconceptions about sex, why people do it, why it’s normal and ok, and most importantly, how he really feels about it. The way he talks about it sounds like someone who has experienced sexual attraction (especially to me), but is denying himself because he views virginity as this insanely important thing you should only be losing to someone you’re married to. I absolutely don’t want to cross any of his boundaries, and I feel so guilty for being upset about this, because I don’t want to force him/coerce him into doing things he’s not comfortable with. I just can’t help but feel like he only feels this way because he’s misinformed about sex as an act and concept. What should I even do? I really like him, and we pair so well together otherwise, so I don’t want to just break up. TL/DR: My boyfriend and I are virgins, I want to have sex, but he wants to wait until marriage. He’s had no proper sex ed and no sex positive people around, and I feel like he only wants to wait because he’s never been educated properly. What should I do? submitted by /u/ginge_rpie [link] [comments]
I (22F) have been with my boyfriend (22M) for almost 2 months. We recently had a conversation regarding boundaries and where is ok to touch (nobody crossed any boundaries, we just wanted to communicate ahead of time), and we talked about our attitudes towards sex as well.
We’re both virgins, but when that came up in conversation, he told me he wanted to stay that way for the “foreseeable future”, and that he wants to wait until after he gets married to have sex. I kind of felt my heart sink when he said that. I absolutely was not expecting us to jump right into penetrative sex, especially as virgins and only after 2 months, but I wasn’t prepared for him to say he wants to wait that long.
He went on to explain that although he’s not religious, he views sex as the ultimate vulnerability between partners, and that he wants to only do that with someone he knows he’ll be spending the rest of his life with. It makes a lot of sense, and I agree that sex is being extremely vulnerable with someone, but I honestly think he’s thinking of sex/virginity as something you should only “give” to your destined romantic partner.
For more (important) context, he has never had proper sex ed, and nobody in his family ever gave him “the sex talk”, so the only reason he knows anything about sex at all is from snippets of the internet and other people’s conversation. In my opinion, this leaves a LOT of space for a LOT of misconceptions about sex, why people do it, why it’s normal and ok, and most importantly, how he really feels about it.
The way he talks about it sounds like someone who has experienced sexual attraction (especially to me), but is denying himself because he views virginity as this insanely important thing you should only be losing to someone you’re married to.
I absolutely don’t want to cross any of his boundaries, and I feel so guilty for being upset about this, because I don’t want to force him/coerce him into doing things he’s not comfortable with. I just can’t help but feel like he only feels this way because he’s misinformed about sex as an act and concept.
What should I even do? I really like him, and we pair so well together otherwise, so I don’t want to just break up.
TL/DR: My boyfriend and I are virgins, I want to have sex, but he wants to wait until marriage. He’s had no proper sex ed and no sex positive people around, and I feel like he only wants to wait because he’s never been educated properly. What should I do?
submitted by /u/ginge_rpie
[link] [comments]