I (26F) met someone (31M) who we will call Louie.. via dating apps. We live about 1 1/2 – 2 hours away which works great for both of us because we aren’t the most social beings. He is incredibly sweet, polite, and well communicated.
We both love gaming and use it to feel closer when we can’t visit. We both are at the point in our life where we want to settle down, find a partner for marriage and have children.
He seems nearly perfect but I have a hang up. He’s only ever had sex twice. Once as a young teen, once as a young man. Currently, he has not had sex in somewhere around 9 years. He has never had an actual girlfriend. He took a sex quiz and seems to fall under either submissive or switch.
I, on the other hand, was heavily promiscuous before 21. I couldn’t tell you how many sexual partners I’ve had, nor how many times I’ve had sex. I have done some pretty far out there things and would fall under the term ‘brat’. It has never been an issue in dating for me, although I’ve always been forward about my sexual history.
Louie has 0 issue with the fact I was so free with my body and casual scenes which makes me feel like an asshole because I’m actually quite hesitant towards his lack of experience. I don’t know how to lead in the bedroom. I don’t know how well I could initiate, or how well he could initiate. He says he has always been a bit of a prude and while there have been some advancements towards him, he’s mostly rejected those.
I think it’s just blowing my mind to deal with a man who just doesn’t really prioritize sex. He does say he’s absolutely interested in sex but just lacks experience because he requires feeling connected.
I’ve never had issues dating men like me, who have enjoyed bouts of promiscuity with long lists of partners and experiences. I’ve never felt it to be a competition with them, and always enjoyed hearing of their escapades or even seeing videos of it.
Yet, here is this man, who is practically an adult virgin, and I find myself filled with doubts such as “What if he only gains such an interest in me because he doesn’t know what’s out there?” I feel paranoid towards the idea that if he’s introduced to sex, he may get too curious since he never had that stage.
I wonder things like, how long would it take the sex to actually reach a level of enjoyable that I could also orgasm? I don’t know how long it takes to learn things like self control over ejaculation. There are men I’ve been with who have had more partners than me and still can’t find a clitoris.
Sex isn’t everything, but it’s my only real hang up in this scenario. He wants to wait, which is fine but new for me as I’ve always been a ‘try before you buy’ type of girl.
He’s also just overall…. Innocent? He doesn’t use any social media. He’s never touched drugs, doesn’t know lingo for it. Doesn’t really drink, party or any of that. We enjoy going to museums together rather than bars, which is honestly a nice change of pace.
Has anyone ever experienced this dynamic? What were some things you found helpful in getting you and your partner comfortable?
submitted by /u/lem0nparti
[link] [comments]
r/sex I (26F) met someone (31M) who we will call Louie.. via dating apps. We live about 1 1/2 – 2 hours away which works great for both of us because we aren’t the most social beings. He is incredibly sweet, polite, and well communicated. We both love gaming and use it to feel closer when we can’t visit. We both are at the point in our life where we want to settle down, find a partner for marriage and have children. He seems nearly perfect but I have a hang up. He’s only ever had sex twice. Once as a young teen, once as a young man. Currently, he has not had sex in somewhere around 9 years. He has never had an actual girlfriend. He took a sex quiz and seems to fall under either submissive or switch. I, on the other hand, was heavily promiscuous before 21. I couldn’t tell you how many sexual partners I’ve had, nor how many times I’ve had sex. I have done some pretty far out there things and would fall under the term ‘brat’. It has never been an issue in dating for me, although I’ve always been forward about my sexual history. Louie has 0 issue with the fact I was so free with my body and casual scenes which makes me feel like an asshole because I’m actually quite hesitant towards his lack of experience. I don’t know how to lead in the bedroom. I don’t know how well I could initiate, or how well he could initiate. He says he has always been a bit of a prude and while there have been some advancements towards him, he’s mostly rejected those. I think it’s just blowing my mind to deal with a man who just doesn’t really prioritize sex. He does say he’s absolutely interested in sex but just lacks experience because he requires feeling connected. I’ve never had issues dating men like me, who have enjoyed bouts of promiscuity with long lists of partners and experiences. I’ve never felt it to be a competition with them, and always enjoyed hearing of their escapades or even seeing videos of it. Yet, here is this man, who is practically an adult virgin, and I find myself filled with doubts such as “What if he only gains such an interest in me because he doesn’t know what’s out there?” I feel paranoid towards the idea that if he’s introduced to sex, he may get too curious since he never had that stage. I wonder things like, how long would it take the sex to actually reach a level of enjoyable that I could also orgasm? I don’t know how long it takes to learn things like self control over ejaculation. There are men I’ve been with who have had more partners than me and still can’t find a clitoris. Sex isn’t everything, but it’s my only real hang up in this scenario. He wants to wait, which is fine but new for me as I’ve always been a ‘try before you buy’ type of girl. He’s also just overall…. Innocent? He doesn’t use any social media. He’s never touched drugs, doesn’t know lingo for it. Doesn’t really drink, party or any of that. We enjoy going to museums together rather than bars, which is honestly a nice change of pace. Has anyone ever experienced this dynamic? What were some things you found helpful in getting you and your partner comfortable? submitted by /u/lem0nparti [link] [comments]
I (26F) met someone (31M) who we will call Louie.. via dating apps. We live about 1 1/2 – 2 hours away which works great for both of us because we aren’t the most social beings. He is incredibly sweet, polite, and well communicated.
We both love gaming and use it to feel closer when we can’t visit. We both are at the point in our life where we want to settle down, find a partner for marriage and have children.
He seems nearly perfect but I have a hang up. He’s only ever had sex twice. Once as a young teen, once as a young man. Currently, he has not had sex in somewhere around 9 years. He has never had an actual girlfriend. He took a sex quiz and seems to fall under either submissive or switch.
I, on the other hand, was heavily promiscuous before 21. I couldn’t tell you how many sexual partners I’ve had, nor how many times I’ve had sex. I have done some pretty far out there things and would fall under the term ‘brat’. It has never been an issue in dating for me, although I’ve always been forward about my sexual history.
Louie has 0 issue with the fact I was so free with my body and casual scenes which makes me feel like an asshole because I’m actually quite hesitant towards his lack of experience. I don’t know how to lead in the bedroom. I don’t know how well I could initiate, or how well he could initiate. He says he has always been a bit of a prude and while there have been some advancements towards him, he’s mostly rejected those.
I think it’s just blowing my mind to deal with a man who just doesn’t really prioritize sex. He does say he’s absolutely interested in sex but just lacks experience because he requires feeling connected.
I’ve never had issues dating men like me, who have enjoyed bouts of promiscuity with long lists of partners and experiences. I’ve never felt it to be a competition with them, and always enjoyed hearing of their escapades or even seeing videos of it.
Yet, here is this man, who is practically an adult virgin, and I find myself filled with doubts such as “What if he only gains such an interest in me because he doesn’t know what’s out there?” I feel paranoid towards the idea that if he’s introduced to sex, he may get too curious since he never had that stage.
I wonder things like, how long would it take the sex to actually reach a level of enjoyable that I could also orgasm? I don’t know how long it takes to learn things like self control over ejaculation. There are men I’ve been with who have had more partners than me and still can’t find a clitoris.
Sex isn’t everything, but it’s my only real hang up in this scenario. He wants to wait, which is fine but new for me as I’ve always been a ‘try before you buy’ type of girl.
He’s also just overall…. Innocent? He doesn’t use any social media. He’s never touched drugs, doesn’t know lingo for it. Doesn’t really drink, party or any of that. We enjoy going to museums together rather than bars, which is honestly a nice change of pace.
Has anyone ever experienced this dynamic? What were some things you found helpful in getting you and your partner comfortable?
submitted by /u/lem0nparti
[link] [comments]