Why do people pry into their partner’s sexual past? (possibly knowing they will be bothered by what they find) /u/5MinutesM Sex

I’m a 33M and had my share of sexual exploration. Nothing outrageous, but I’m certainly not a virgin and have “tried things”. Previous gfs, in one way or another, sooner or later, asked about my sexual past, and have been hurt/unable to handle what they hear (no need to list things here, pm are open if you have relevant questions). I prefer to answer sensibly, but always with the truth. I think there are some questions that are very reasonable to ask (for example: “are you tested?” or anything that may indicate a propensity for abusive behaviour), but why inquire into lewd details if they know there’s a chance they’ll hear something they’ll feel conflicted about? (for example: have you been with a man? have you had a ONS? have you had threesome?).

In a few occasions, I have noticed something akin to masochism: Wanting to know as many details as possible, getting more and more hurt in the process. What motivates some women to do this?

(Side note: My current gf is indeed comfortable with my past and I am with hers. She had her share of sexual explorations tbh, which may be a factor in things working out – There’s no envy or feeling of not been “even”. We don’t investigate unnecessary details, but talk openly and acknowledge things that happened in the past. Things are said with care and (I’d rather say) love. There’s never being an attempt on our part to hurt each other by revealing anything).

I’m a 33M and had my share of sexual exploration. Nothing outrageous, but I’m certainly not a virgin and have “tried things”. Previous gfs, in one way or another, sooner or later, asked about my sexual past, and have been hurt/unable to handle what they hear (no need to list things here, pm are open if you have relevant questions). I prefer to answer sensibly, but always with the truth. I think there are some questions that are very reasonable to ask (for example: “are you tested?” or anything that may indicate a propensity for abusive behaviour), but why inquire into lewd details if they know there’s a chance they’ll hear something they’ll feel conflicted about? (for example: have you been with a man? have you had a ONS? have you had threesome?).

In a few occasions, I have noticed something akin to masochism: Wanting to know as many details as possible, getting more and more hurt in the process. What motivates some women to do this?

(Side note: My current gf is indeed comfortable with my past and I am with hers. She had her share of sexual explorations tbh, which may be a factor in things working out – There’s no envy or feeling of not been “even”. We don’t investigate unnecessary details, but talk openly and acknowledge things that happened in the past. Things are said with care and (I’d rather say) love. There’s never being an attempt on our part to hurt each other by revealing anything).