What’s the difference between “pushing the button” and being “That Guy”? /u/DecemberPaladin DnD: Roll for Initiative!

I’m not an absolute beginner with D&D, but I’ve only been playing regularly for the past year or so, and basically I just want a gut check here.

I’m playing an Oath of the Ancients Paladin—the skillset is what drew me in, but i didn’t want Oaths that would handcuff me, so I’m playing as Chaotic Good. When the DM throws out hooks, they’re usually in the form of people needing help or a desecrated Druid grove, which my character can’t help but jump at. One example: so my Paladin is wolf-themed, and there was a pack of wolves menacing an NPC. Rather than fight and kill them, I rolled Intimidate and chased them off (realizing that’s the sort of thing I should talk over, and I’ve gotten better at that). The pack left behind a cub, which I felt we had to look after. I know it’s meme-y, but these are decisions made in-character—to only kill when having no other option, and to give what help to those in need.

So my question is: is this behavior appropriate? I want to participate, and bite the hook when the DM throws it out, but not at the risk of seizing the title of Party Leader. I don’t want it, for one, and I’m the new kid in the group. So where do I find the line between being a participant and being a hijacker? Talking it over is the surest cure, of course, but I don’t want to come across as neurotic. To them, at least. I know I’m coming across as neurotic to you folks, but I’m (likely) not playing with any of you.

I’m not an absolute beginner with D&D, but I’ve only been playing regularly for the past year or so, and basically I just want a gut check here.

I’m playing an Oath of the Ancients Paladin—the skillset is what drew me in, but i didn’t want Oaths that would handcuff me, so I’m playing as Chaotic Good. When the DM throws out hooks, they’re usually in the form of people needing help or a desecrated Druid grove, which my character can’t help but jump at. One example: so my Paladin is wolf-themed, and there was a pack of wolves menacing an NPC. Rather than fight and kill them, I rolled Intimidate and chased them off (realizing that’s the sort of thing I should talk over, and I’ve gotten better at that). The pack left behind a cub, which I felt we had to look after. I know it’s meme-y, but these are decisions made in-character—to only kill when having no other option, and to give what help to those in need.

So my question is: is this behavior appropriate? I want to participate, and bite the hook when the DM throws it out, but not at the risk of seizing the title of Party Leader. I don’t want it, for one, and I’m the new kid in the group. So where do I find the line between being a participant and being a hijacker? Talking it over is the surest cure, of course, but I don’t want to come across as neurotic. To them, at least. I know I’m coming across as neurotic to you folks, but I’m (likely) not playing with any of you.